Day 829

Rang in the new year with a screaming baby. I feel like New Years Eves are going to be a little different from now on...

Day 828

It's amazing how much difference the time can make. Things that are adorable and hilarious during the day can make you want to cry at four in the morning.

Day 827

Having a baby is considerably more enjoyable when breastfeeding is not excruciatingly painful.

Day 826

It is fabulous when the baby gas-smiles with excellent timing for jokes. It is even better when you look at her, say her name and smile... And she looks you straight in the eye and smiles back. Social smiling, here we come!

Day 825

In which the Lizard did her impression of a water fountain.

Day 824

Achievement unlocked: used puppy as a nursing pillow.

Day 823

We have all more or less survived the lizard's first Christmas.

Day 822

Our baby of perpetual eating really needs to let us sleep.

Day 821

We decorated the tree and finished buying Christmas presents today. Once we wrap stuff tomorrow, we're ready for the Lizard's first Christmas!

Day 820

The Lizard is really working on reinforcing the idea that it is important for babies to be cute.

Day 819 (early!)

My baby not only clusterfeeds.... She clusterpoops! This is probably so that Husband doesn't feel left out.

Day 818

Our baby keeps being sweet and sleepy and snuggly whenever other people are around. If she keeps this up, no one is going to believe us about the crying and the pooping...

Day 817 (belated)

People seem to think that baby boys corner the market on eccentric peeing... But my daughter can pee in her hair.

So there.

Day 816 (corrected date)

I have already acknowledged that today was the Lizard's due date in other places, and talked about how cute she is...

So here I can just say - WHY ARE MY BOOBS LEAKING ALL OVER THE GODDAMN PLACE?!?!

Day 814

It is good to remind yourself periodically to just sit and look at your baby's face. When she's not crying. Not-crying babies are remarkable, wonderful things.

Day 814

Lizard has starting working on her memoir, titled Eat, Cry, Fart.

I'm sure Julia Roberts will sign on for the movie any day now.

Day 813

This evening has been a competition to see which baby can yell more.

All I know is that Husband and I are losing.

Day 812

One day you find out that you can squirt milk in random directions. You wonder whether this is a power that can be harnessed. If yes, do you use this power for good or for evil?

Parenthood involves big decisions.

Day 811

My ideas of what constitutes a miracle have changed a bunch in the last ten days.

For instance: four hours of sleep at once? Completely miraculous. Even my bladder doesn't want to get in the way of that.

Day 810

Today we had our first trip out of the house with the baby since coming home and nobody died!

And considerably more miraculously, we were only a couple minutes late to our appointment!

Day 809

The Lizard's first diaper-busting poop will probably be a good reminder to the twelve year olds who cleaned our ducts today to always wear condoms. Like... Literally, all of the time.

Day 808

Biology is a wonderful thing. I can feel like total ass when I wake up, and will start feeling better as soon as I start holding my daughter. Definitely science-magic.

Day 807

And then suddenly, the day posts took a sudden turn towards saccharine.

Because motherhood does strange things to a gal.

Day 806 (belated)

Got to take the three day old baby home. Somehow she looks even tinier amongst our things...

Also discovered the agony of hurting your baby when I clipped her fingernail and caught a tiny bit of thumb. I'm pretty sure I found it more upsetting than she did.

Day 805 (belated)

Even hospital showers can feel awesome if it has been long enough since your last shower.

Day 804

We made a baby!

And it's a good one too!

Day 803 (belated)

Operation Adorable Baby = Huge Success.

Day 802

Getting admitted to hospital: Take 2. Will this one result in a baby?!? Only time will tell...

Day 801

Another day of successfully avoiding being so stressed out I have a baby!

Day 800

The baby dropped part way through the countdown. This kid is obviously unfamiliar with New Years Eve traditions.

Day 799

Some days you just have to agree to not accomplish things.

Day 798 (belated)

I think the dog suspects us of plotting new ways to torment him all the time. Shovel snow without him? Horrors!

Day 797

Pregnancy is not a linear process. Some days, you end up being a week or so more pregnant than you were the day before. 

Day 796

Puppy gets his trial sleeping on the bed, as it has officially sunk in that this baby could come at any time.

Day 794

The poor puppy has been nested.

Day 793

Assembled a crib in the hallway and then had to do some serious tricksy hobbiting to get it through the doorway. 

Once again, Husband and I emerge victorious.

And Bertie emerges with more cardboard to chew on.

Day 792

Change table = Assembled!

Turns out Bertie is firmly in the camp of people who think assembling ikea furniture is fun.

Day 791

Today Husband and I got to be intrepid explorers in the freezing rain on our quest to buy baby furniture. 

It's like we will someday be prepared for a baby, or something!

Day 790

Enjoying a second consecutive night of Husband and puppy curling up, falling asleep, and whuffling softly at each other.

Day 789

When you have little things in the house, you learn to patiently wait your turn to say hello to Husband when he gets home from a trip.

Day 788 (belated)

On the third day Husband is out of town, things start to go a little haywire. Weird food choices for me, and the dog starts whimpering and muttering at the screensaver.

Day 787

Bertie and I have very different ideas about the appropriate speed to walk/prance on slippery snow.

Day 786

Dog is highly suspicious that Husband is not home yet. Seems to be disposed towards pouting. New plan is to sit around and pout at each other until Husband comes back.

Day 785

The dog seems to have figured out suitcases, and has started wigging out even before Husband's departure.  

How efficient.

Day 784

A day of accomplishing many things, and also watching lots of Gilmore girls while knitting a blanket for blueberry. Prego success!

Day 783

The blueberry is due in 32 days, so it seemed like a good time to start knitting a baby blanket.

Day 782 (belated)

Sometimes Fridays just need to be taco and pew pew parties.

Day 781

It's the end of an era - my last weekly babysitting, after almost four years.

Day 780

The good news about getting the flu shot while pregnant is that you don't notice the tired at all!

Day 779

Aaand now we see if Bertie goes into grandma withdrawl.

Day 778

The puppy is six months old and the blueberry is due in 37 days. 

ERMAGHERD.

Day 777 (belated)

The puppy has found a new best friend in my mom. It's possible she feels the same.

Day 776

The joy of doing nothing on a Saturday.

Day 775

It's fun being able to introduce the puppy to new best friends all the time.

Day 774

To Dooom list over, slacking off to begin.

Day 773

The satisfaction of checking things off the To Dooooooom List, tempered by having to add more items to the To Dooooooom.

Day 772

It is the week of finishing all the big projects! Take that projects!

Day 771

Stairs are over. Whatever are we going to do with all our spare time?!

Day 770 (belated)

Must be all the practice from the Lego movie lego video game, but Husband is apparently a master builder.

Day 769

Learned important life lessons about orders of operations.

Day 768

Bertie survived Halloween, even though he wasn't allowed to lick all the children!

Day 766

The dog has decided he needs to help prepare us to be parents. 

Today he was helping prepare us for when the baby keeps crying for no reason and shits everywhere.

Day 765 (belated)

DECK IS DONE, DECK IS DONE, TRA LA LA LA LA LA!!!!

(Aside from railings, which don't count for the purposes of this post)

Day 764

The landing is taunting me with imminent completion. Bertie will be so excited when we switch to ignoring him inside for our next project.

Day 763

Friends and power tools are the best.

Day 762

The baby kicks enthusiastically when we work outside, and the dog barks. 

Aren't tiny things supposed to sleep a lot?!?

Day 761

Husband is home again! I'm not sure who is happier - me or the dog. So far the dog has been more effective and stealing cuddles.

Day 760

Days with no prospect of seeing Husband are not good days. 

On the plus side, seeing Blueberry and The Merry Wiggles doing well is decidedly a good thing.

Day 759

How we spend our last evening together before husband goes out of town: walk to the polling station and vote together.

Yaaaaaay civic duty!

Day 758

The started off like a giant poofish and then slowly turned into a rather nice day. Mostly when the day started involving more Husband.

Day 757

How much Monday can you cram into a single Monday?

All of them!

Apparently.

Day 756

For my birthday I got pajamas (three pairs that should work at full prego!), all the joists on the landing, pictures of sock puppets, and a hammered thumb. 

Day 755 (belated)

Ate the last of the birthday ice cream the day before my birthday. On purpose. 

So there, birthday!

Day 754

Heartburn, frantic puppy, and lego pardits revisited.

Day 753

I need to stop playing 'Where's Mommy?' with the dog, as apparently he plays a long, depressing game every Thursday afternoon when I'm not actually  home.

Day 752

Silver nitrate = worse.

Day 751

Sharps = bad.

Day 750

Nesting instincts and slow-moving renos are an awkward combination.

Day 749

The dog couldn't decide whether to be terribly terribly bad or terribly terribly snuggly... So he just alternated.

Day 748

Several weeks later... We are finished the prep and can actually start building our stairs!

Day 747 (belated)

We are very bad at living on Brussels time.

Day 746

The dog does not approve of Husband and I going to bed at different times.

Day 745

Always read the whole recipe before baking right before bedtime.

Day 744

Apparently part of the reason for maintaining the house find is the expectation that I will at some point rage smash something in the house - probably a kitchen cupboard. 

Husband is a wise man.

Day 743

And then Husband made cheesy garlick toast, because Husband is a genius who knows how to make everything better.

Bertie is a dog who knows how to explode with urine and poop in front of the dryer.

Day 742

The good thing about spending most of the day working outside is that the dog is almost as tired as we are.

Also, we might actually end up with stairs to the front door again. That is probably also good.

Day 741

Team Manual Labour has magically been transformed into Team All Of The Naps!

Day 740

Husband sacrificed his cinnamon bun breakfast so he could make me a sandwich for lunch. Winning at husbandry = very yes.

Day 739

We seem to be making a baby with good rhythm.

Day 738

Today I learned that it is possible to express that someone cares about language by saying "she is very punctual... And very grammar."

Day 737

Prenatal courses half finished. If Bertie could count, he would be counting down until Tuesdays are no longer the worst day of the week.

Day 736

Eight years ago today, I sent Husband a message. 

Excellent life choice, me from the past.

Day 735

One of those weekends where a huge amount of effort results in little visible result.

Day 734

If you find yourself thinking 'I know, we'll just build our own stairs/landing!', the answer is NO.

Day 733

The blueberry was kicking like crazy until I put the sleeping puppy on my belly. Now I just get dainty sloshes.

Day 732

That thing where you bring your phone charger to work with you, but leave your phone at home.

Day 731

I wonder if I will ever not feel compelled to tell Husband about every little thing that happens in my day...

Day 730

Husband and I celebrated two years of marriage by going to a prenatal class and baking delicious cookies. It turns out we're both very good at withstanding simulated contraction pain.

Day 729 (corrected date)

A few light lunges and squats before bed makes labour go awesome...right?

Day 727

We were working on having the laziest Sunday of all time, and then got distracted and prepped eight pounds of tomatoes for the freezer. And then returned to laziness.

Day 726 (belated)

One of the nice things about being pregnant at weddings is that no one cares if you suck at hair. 

Say 725

Made Ucchini pie and remembered to put down the controller before falling asleep. Friday success.

Keeping typos for sleepterity.

Day 724

We have now officially started experimenting with our baby. It can tell the difference between light and dark!

Day 723

Turns out birth videos are not anywhere near as alarming as videos of an Australian lady demonstrating on a dummy how to give yourself a perineal MAH-ssage.

Day 722

Today, Husbsnd successfully got sued, I learned how to do black magic in Excel, and the puppy was even more excited to see us than usual. 

Monday = Success!

Day 721

Gave the puppy a haircut. He has been rendered more adorable.

Day 720

Because when you cough so hard you wake up everyone in the house, including your unborn child.... That is the perfect day to harvest all your root vegetables and tamp down a cubic yard of dirt...or two.

Day 719

What will determine my sleep position - my angry lungs or my rapidly expanding belly?

Exciting questions for sick pregos.

Day 718

I AM WRITING ON THE INTERNET. 

ONE MUST ALWAYS WRITE ON THE INTERNET BEFORE SLEEPING.

SO THERE.

Day 717

Plague continues. Puppy is much less sympathetic.

Day 716 (belated)

Pregnancy gets extra fun when you throw in flu.

Day 715

Turns out if you give the puppy a ball and a mirror, you can play video games for hours.

Day 714

Accomplishing things feels so much more impressive when you're prego.

Day 713

Pregnancy zen is awesome. I hope I get to keep it.

Day 712

Sometimes you just have to stay home and vegetate while your dog goes totally bananas.

Day 711

Days with less Husband are days that suck more.

Day 710

I am growing either an acrobat or a ninja.

Day 709

Today was double plus ungood Monday. Even Bertie seemed out of sorts, and needed to do extra face-mauling to feel good about the world.

Day 708

We hosted dinner parties two nights in a row. I submit this as evidence that I am not actually a hermit.

Day 707

We need to invite people over more often so we can have a clean house all the time. Also: dinner party!

Day 706

Having no energy because you're pregnant is a lot more fun when the puppy is sleepy with you.

Day 705

Husband seems to find it humerus how often the dog and I are not on speaking terms.

Day 704

I am happy to report that this dog does not explode when given shots.

Day 703

I am now at the stage of pregnancy where you can see my belly moving when I am not.

Day 702

Husband and Puppy both got haircuts today. Twins!

Day 701

The dog has been working on making his whines extra piteous. Husband has been working on being even more delightful.

Day 700 (belated)

Sometimes when your dogs asks to go out, it's just because he wants to feel the wind on his face.

He will do this in the middle of a three hour drive, and whine so piteously that you think he must be on the verge of exploding.

He will do this because he is an asshole.

Day 699

New Life Lesson:

Never go anywhere you need to pack for while pregnant.

Day 698

And when Friday actually comes, the people are too tired to rejoice; they nap on the couch, then eat dinner and watch Dr Who.

Day 697

Took the puppy to a friend's house. He was very good, aside from the part where he peed on our host.

Day 696

My slug trap has failed. I'm having to assist with their drowning rather more than I wanted.

Day 695

The puppy finds it alarming when his people don't go to bed at bedtime. If one of them is missing, his job is to dash madly around the house until he finds them.

Day 694

Husband and I are pretty good at cooking, but the oven tends to attack us when we make frozen pizza for dinner.

Day 693

The baby has now had the opportunity to jazzercise Husband in the ear. It took full advantage of the opportunity.

Day 692 (belated)

Husband saw wriggling on the ultrasound, and can feel it when he puts his hand on my belly.

In utero jazzercise lessons have officially begun.

Day 691

...And then all of a sudden you can see your baby's heart beating.

Day 690

The dog does not approve of book learnin'.

Day 689

Small crazy puppies playing with big gentle dogs is the best.

Day 688

The crowning achievement of my day was succeeding in tiring out the dog.

Day 687

Husband is home!! I have never seen the puppy be so excited...

Day 686

It is our last night without Husband. I tuckered the dog out so much he didn't have the energy to cry forlornly into the shower tonight. Success!

Day 685

The puppy is much better at making friends than I am. 

To be fair, it's a little easier for puppies. All you have to do is make this face:

Day 684

Going to bed feeling triumphant because the puppy didn't pee in the house today.

Day 683

I'm hoping when I have the dog a bath I managed to wash some of the evil out.

If not, at least he smells better.

Day 682

While the dog might be good for my blood pressure, he is bad for mood stabilization. 

Seriously, he should not be allowed to be so fucking terrible when he is going to be so sweet and adorable the next minute.

Day 681 (belated)

The dog is trying to distract me from missing Husband by peeing all of the time, attacking the dog in the mirror, and finding every feather in the house to chew on.

Day 680

Bertie had his first day without Husband. For some reason the dog is convinced he must be hiding in the shower.

Day 679

Turns out our dog also gets distracted by how cute he is - he has discovered the mirror.

Day 678

Washing the shower, me, and the dog in rapid succession makes for fun times.

Day 677

Friday night is lego hobbit night.

Day 676

Please say hello to my magical hypertension cure: 

Day 675

I hope that I never again experience stairs booby-trapped with poop.

Day 674 (belated)

Stole the dog's affections from Husband for the evening by giving him and emergency bath, blow drying him, cutting the hair around his eyes and butt, and brushing his teeth.

Dogs are weird.

Day 673

Tied our tomato plants to the fence and took advantage of a friend's kindness to move a bunch of heavy things and disassemble a flower bed. De-landscaped!

Day 672

Note to self: small children learn road rage, and will deploy it while playing in toy cars.

Day 671

That thing where you clean your carpets and discover that the previous owners of your house were even grosser than you thought.

Day 670

More giant garden zucchini and more urine-soaked stuff. 

Day 669

Impromptu meetings and melodrama.

Day 668

Surprise ice cream extravaganza! And showing off Bertram von Crazypants.

Day 667

Bertie is a day late revealing that he is possessed.

Day 666

The day of the damp puppy! We had to make many towel Bertittos today.

Day 665

Luckily the dog seems to hate the heat about as much as I do. Hibernation for everybody!

Day 664 (belated)

Couldn't post last night because I forgot to bring my phone home... And also apparently forgot that computers have internet too.

Day 663

So far having a puppy has meant doing more laundry and having lower blood pressure.

Day 662

Taking the dog for walks right before bed to tore him out is a very pleasant habit.

Day 661

Bertie decided to test how ready we are to be parents by not letting us sleep and then peeing on everything all day.

Nobody has died, but our washing machine may go on strike.

Day 660

Despite the broken sleep, having a puppy is pretty awesome. Especially when the puppy is Bertie.

Day 659 (belated)

Duck ragoût, parsnip purée, pregnancy pics and puppy adoration.

Day 658

Apparently our new dog is a morning person.

Day 657

Bertie!

Day 656

Trying to clean two feet above the ground all over the house.

Day 655

When a four year old gets out her beading box, it is serious business.

Day 654

Went home sick and was mostly fine for the afternoon until bedtime, and then... Surprise Puking!

Day 653

And then work exploded. 

On the plus side, I get to bring this home on Saturday:

Day 652

Naps should be mandatory on Mondays.

Day 651

It is that time of year where I suddenly start watching a lot of sports on tv. Huzzah for Wimbledon and the tour!

Day 650

Got stuck in a vlogbrothers hole and laughed so hard I cried watching hank play qwop.

Day 649 (belated)

Emergency lawn mowing and weeding. Mowed down one piece of metal and got approximately a thousand mosquito bites. Success!

Day 648

Success! I now have an ultrasound appointment that Husband can actually come to! And I only gibbered at the nurse in relief a little bit...

Day 647

Somehow spending eight hours sitting at work is less exhausting than eight hours sitting in the car.

Day 646

Vacation is nice and all, but holy shit am I ever glad to be home.

Day 645

If anyone was planning to drive across the prairies this week, just don't.

Day 644

Laziness and soccer and delicious food and friends.

Day 643

Wonderful, beautiful wedding and a chance to catch up with friends.

Day 642

Division of labour: Husband goes mountaineering, I read terrible prego book.

Day 641

Went for a hike. Nobody died!

Day 640

When headache persists, a prescription of alternating friends and food is beneficial.

Day 639 (belated)

Reunion!

Day 638 (belated)

Showing kids pictures of their parents as kids is hilarious.

Day 637

Pregnancy brain appears to impede but not eliminate bananagrams wizardry.

Day 636

Note to self: check salt content of food *before* eating it.

Day 635

Herp de derp.

Day 634

Husband might bring me coffee and make my breakfast and lunch every day... But sometimes I bring him leftover baked goods from office potlucks. 

...he is obviously still winning the awesomest spouse competition.

Day 633

For a wedding shower game, I had to write a humorous solution to the problem 'my husband doesn't help out at home'. I found myself at a bit of a loss, as that is really not a problem I have experience with.

Also, cleaning rampages are less fun when you have to sit down in the middle of them.

Day 632

Rather pleasant doctors appointment followed by a day mostly filled with relaxation. Midweek vacation days are more awesome than I expected.

Day 631

Turns out exercise does not get any easier.

Day 630

Since Husband is not yet a father, we bought him a present yesterday for Not Yet Father's Day.

Day 629 (corrected)

Because apparently I don't know how to count. According to the internet, I somehow lost five days. 

I always thought it felt like we had been married for longer...

Day 623 (belated)

Now craving apple products. Not actual apples... But apple sauce and apples prepped for baking and...mmmmmm

Day 621

Exam over, fun time forever.

Day 620

The anticipation for this course being finished would be killing me if I weren't so tired. Instead, my anticipation leve-zzzzzzzzzzz

Day 619

You know you're ready to be finished your course forever when the things you are looking forward to doing once you're done go from reading books and playing video games to vacuuming the house and weeding the garden.

Day 618

I am looking forward to this exam being over with so that I can do fun things again. And also plant blueberries.

Day 617

Exhaustion, pregnancy brain, and studying for exams is not a happy combination.

Day 616

Husband made me dinner while I had a nap. Occasionally pregnancy doesn't suck.

Day 615 (belated)

If you're interested in deep stretching, I know a four year old who will happily sit or stand on you to help out.

Day 614 (belated)

Our greens are coming along quite nicely. This probably means that Husband won't have to sneak into the neighbours yard to steal their rampion.

Day 613

It feels nice having someone else steal the thunder. There's been a little too much thunder in my life for my tastes.

Day 612

Gotta love it when the weather forecast turns out to be a total lie on a day you have to run a pile of errands before you get to go home. On the plus side... Pizza night!

Day 611

Another day of productivity despite the nagging mosquitoes. More delicious food, and then a dusky drive through the deer convention until we were home at last.

So we could check out the vegetable garden by flashlight.

Day 610

And then, the mosquitoes came.

Day 609

Pregnancy and daily day posts really do not seem to get along

Day 607

Surprise promotion is surprising.

Day 606

Our neighbourhood has abruptly become bright green. I wish it hadn't become so hot and humid so quickly - I just want to sit outside and watch our vegetables grow!

Day 605

I have abruptly become very bad at this, apparently.

Today was supposed to be productive, but I'm not sure Husband and I managed to cobble one whole brain together between the two of us. So .... Nap time.

Day 602 (quite belated)

Apparently the need to get home and go immediately to bed won out over posting. Which says a bit about how the week went. 

On the plus side, we are now much better rested.

Day 601

Today was Husband's birthday. I forgot all about my good intentions, so he ended up making me coffee, as usual.

It is hard to be a good wife in the morning.

Day 600

Spontaneous movie date after dentist appointments. Complete with mall food!

I'm an adult! Now with more flossing in my future!

Day 599

Definitely a day for hibernation. Wake me up when I am not so sleepy.

Day 598

On the third day of long weekend, we baked and cooked and read and hung out and talked.

Day 597

Assignments for this course are now completed (aside from a final edit in the last one). Garden is in. Lilac is partially demolished.

And there is still one more day left in the weekend.

This can only mean one thing:

LAZINESS EXTRAVAGANZA!!!

Day 596

A day of astonishing productivity means we can mostly slack off for the rest of the weekend. Winning!

Day 595

Husband took a vacation day today to recuperate after a long string of working very hard. So he fixed our washing machine (apparently the previous owner's contractor decided that attaching the hot water hose to the hot water pipe and the cold water hose to the cold water pipe was overrated), did several loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, put our more grass seed and watered the patch of future grass, and baked some banana bread. Because I don't really like bananas but love banana bread. 

See? This is why I'm trying to be a good person and *not* poke him in the tongue when he yawns!!

Day 594

Husbands are most excellent things. Especially mine.

Day 593

It is much more fun playing 'no sleep for you, time to wake up!' when you aren't the person falling asleep.

Day 592

You know you're adults when you and your Husband both cackle with malicious glee at the number of airmiles you just couponed your way into.

Day 591

A quick tidy, and we have successfully tricked more people into believing we don't live in squalor. Winning!

Day 590

It feels like our backyard is on a makeover show. We have been slowly tearing out all of the crap, and now we are starting to put it together again so that it is wonderful and new. And full of vegetables.

Day 589

Husband and I will now be making homemade leek soup every day forever.

Day 588

Why yes, it is British Pathé YouTube Party Day!

Day 587

Can it be weekend? I would like for it to be sleepy weekend.

Day 586

Haircut day! We look much less like a hobo couple now!

Day 585

Some days you just have to give in and go to bed at nine thirty.

Day 584

Despite feeling like butt all day, my assignment is finished. Thank goodness for an encouraging Husband who cooked me dinner.

Day 583

Friends, and food, and buying all of the things for our someday soon garden.

Day 582

I'm not sure that Husband was expecting the saw to come out when I said I was going to go to town on the globe cedar... But at the end of the day, we have clean eavestroughs on the garage and a bigger yard. 

And even if he wasn't expecting the saw, he still raised me a pickaxe.

Day 581

Fridays are a blessing, even when they are followed by working-on-assignment weekends.

Day 580

Watching Husband teach a four year old how to do things is pretty awesome. Especially when the kid succeeds and starting crowing and distributing high fives.

Day 579

Somewhere on the internet there was a headline about eight hugs a day making you happy.

I've been driving husband crazy by giving him right hugs in rapid succession, and then chastising him if he tries to go for "too many".

If happiness = giggles, they may be on the right track.

Day 578

I'm not really sure whether I was more excited to receive a package today, or send one.

Day 577

Good intentions have a way of evaporating into thin air when confronted with Monday.

Day 576

Sometimes Chuck is just a better way to spend time than stupid assignments.

Day 575

And then, after the neighbour canvassed at our house, there was the shame-cleaning.

Day 574

Turning someone else's unwanted pantry food into delicious dinner is a good time.

Day 573

Rainy season has begun! And the people rejoiced.

Day 572

The week after making pulled pork is a good week. 

Day 571

Went for a stroll by the river with Husband... And estimated how much it would have to rise to top the dyke. And then sat on a bench and watched the logs go by.

Day 570

Huzzah for games that four year olds can play that don't make me want to beat my head against a wall!

Day 569

My Grandad passed away this morning. It is weird to think that I don't have any biological grandparents anymore.

Day 568

A slow start to the day, and then a surge of productivity - enough to make us feel that we have earned dinner. My mind keeps drifting eastward.

Day 567

Somehow staying up late the night before a long weekend starts is extra delicious.

Day 566

Erg, erg, erg your erg

Not gently in the basement

Sweatily, sweatily, sweatily, sweatily

Life is but a series of pains in the heels, abs, and back.

Day 565

Driving lesson called on account if AGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

Day 564

Operation Get Your Bitch Ass On The Erg has resumed.

Halp.

Day 563

Today was all about family - an afternoon with Husband's extended family, and then news of a brand new nephew! 

And I still managed to get a bunch of work done on an assignment. Go Team Venture!

Day 562

In which I learned that when Husband says he is out of jam, he is really out of jam.

Day 561

It is delightful having a Husband who sends you pictures of his pirate face when you are having a shitty day at work.

Day 560

I am not a big fan of unexpected puddles on the carpet.

Day 559

Stood outside for a while, chatting with our neighbour and watching her kids run through puddles. Which might be as funny to watch as it was fun to do.

Also went for a driving lesson, and nobody died. Success!

Day 558

Today we figured out where in the house  we should watch storms from when a snow storm came out of nowhere. And we just hung out there for a while, until the snow had slowed to almost nothing...and then remembered we had to do things like make dinner.

Day 557

The most frustrating thing about baking with Husband is that people keep trying to give me all the credit.

Day 556

Today Husband and I tested the hypothesis that errands are more fun when you bring your spouse.

So far the hypothesis is looking good -even though and required going into stores. We'll have to do further investigation.

Day 555

It is helpful being married to someone who understands the 'brain is busy, body on autopilot problem'. 

Day 554

I make jokes sometimes that I will totally be the mean parent. 

Is it a sign that it isn't a joke if the four year old I babysit told me that she's tired of all my rules?

Day 553

Apparently we are a household that collects stretches for stupid shoulders.

We also grow ice. To be proudly displayed on the sidewalks.

Day 552

There were two upsides to dragging my sorry ass to my lecture today.

1. It ended early so I got some reading done.

2. It was so terrible I never have to go again. The course is in one of Husband's areas of expertise, and he was horrified.

Day 551

I would like to return this Monday. It had too much Monday in it.

Day 550

We are slowly spreading rock and roll for pigs.

Also, we helped dig out the storm drain at Husband's parents' house so that the lake of slush and snow at the foot of their driveway could start to drain. We were following the family motto - "If it's worth doing, it's worth over-doing!"

I fit right in...

Day 549

My mouthwash and my garlic are duelling to the death.

This is why you always make your spouse also eat the hummus.

Day 548

Today we sang rock and roll for pigs. 

It is possible that Husband is right that the four year old is a bad influence on us.

Day 547

It is a surprisingly short Wikipedia chain from flow charts to Cheaper By the Dozen.

Day 546

Overslept, showered in the wrong order and got to work early. Luckily, Husband realizes how much it pains me to shower uncaffeinated, so he brought me a latte and packed Easter chocolate in my lunch. 

I'm not sure what you mean by "spoiled". Please explain.

Day 545

I'm beginning to suspect I'm going to be singing Everything is Awesome at poor Husband forever. 

This might be why we rarely go to see movies...

Day 544

A day of terrible headaches and then finding out that we have to take the car into the shop.

We drowned our sorrows in community, Lego marvel, and, in Husband's case, a particularly ludicrous bowl of ice cream, courtesy of me.

Day 543

Husband and I had intended to go see two movies tonight... But then we started playing video game, and all of a sudden it was nine o'clock and we hadn't made dinner yet. 

Up next: a weekend with a similar level of productivity and responsibility!

Day 542

I'm not sure how single parents manage without someone to roll their eyes at over their kids' heads.

Day 541

When making up silly songs, 'Pants!' is an excellent final lyric.

Also, today I actually shovelled the front sidewalk, and it is making me feel remarkably accomplished.

Day 540

Today I got to leave work early and Husband had to work very late.

Maybe our bosses can work something out where tomorrow I work through breaks so Husband can have a nap?

Day 539

It had been a long day for Team Giggle-Snort....

Day 538

I'm beginning to suspect that global warming still isn't acknowledged as a thing because a bunch of people had to shovel snow multiple times in one day and decided to declare War on Winter.

Seems almost reasonable to me.

Day 537

Some days, silliness must out.

Day 536

Best Pi Day ever.

Pizza (pie), Veronica Mars, and pie.

And also friends.

Also also wik Husband, who would point out houses while I was penguin walking over ice, and then he'd stop walking so I could look away from my feet and at the interesting house in question. And then let me talk at him a lot about the movie.

Which he also just saw.

Day 535

It feels like a grave injustice that tomorrow is not a holiday; I should be allowed to stay home and watch Veronica Mars before going out to watch Veronica Mars!

Also, four year olds are fantastic at projecting their desires onto other people. And also at waving pencils dangerously close to eyeballs.

Day 534

 Doing a google image search for Santa will not always make you happy.

Day 533

While Husband agrees that it is a bad life choice to let/encourage me to put my cold hands on his spine, I am apparently not supposed to point it out... Just shut up and take advantage.

Day 532

Husband and I both ended up with sodden socks and boots... But not at the same time. Mine got wet from the giant puddles on the sidewalk on the way home; his got wet when he swam through the snow to get to the shed.

One of us is clearly more awesome than the other.

Day 531

Added to the list of the top ten weirdest questions I have ever asked Husband:

"Is there spaghetti on my ear?"

Day 530

A maddening sort of productivity today. Husband was cloistered in the spare oom working, and I sat in the basement tearing out row upon row of knitting. Turns out it takes much longer to undo than to do, if you have to do it stitch by stitch.

Day 529

1. Someday I would like to do some reno-type work around the house without finding something horrible. I am beginning to suspect that day will never come.

2. If you get too discouraged to make the rather involved dinner you had planned, and then decide to do it anyway as a matter of pride... Maybe you should check the clock first. Sometimes it's better to fuck your pride and toss a pizza in the oven.

I will almost certainly take that back when I get to eat leftover peanut sauce tomorrow.

Day 528

This evening has been a curious mix of responsible and irresponsible.

Finished the readings for the first module of the course I am taking that starts in a couple weeks, got a bunch of knitting done, ate vegetables, and did a bunch of updates on my near-fatally wounded laptop.

I also had mcdonalds for dinner and got sucked into the addictive world of online quizzes.

Apparently I am both Kaylee from Firefly and Krieger from Archer, which really shouldn't be possible.

(Also Giles, Wallace, Lily, and Abed, for anyone keeping track...)

Day 527

Does anyone accomplish anything when the weather is like this -especially this late in winter?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Day 526

Gfdktfggdgbhfdjgdreyiokvfwrt. Guys give

So there, Husband.

Edit: Also **PANCAKES!!**

Happy now?

Day 525

I don't think I have quite outgrown show and tell yet. I just want to share all the neat things I have or see.... With all of the people.

This might be why our dinner party abruptly became a cookbook viewing party. (Is that actually a thing? Can that be a thing?)

Also Husband took over my job in the kitchen, and doesn't need stitches!

All in all, a huge success.

Day 524

Two things:

1. I need to make a rule that Husband and I can only start talking about Vince Li/mental illness before nine o'clock or something. Otherwise it pushes back our bedtime too much.

2. Will this be night three of dreams about Justin Bieber? What strange adventures could we go on next?

Day 523

Husband and I crossed seven items of off the to do list today...and finally got the first coat of paint on in the spare room.

Which means.... I no longer live in a house with a pink room! The universe makes sense again!

Day 522

Finishing sentences is for chumps.

Day 521 (belated)

Played Lego Marvel before bed... And then had discussions about the stigma around mental illness, and how that translates to people's feelings about the justice system.

Day 520

Being sick would be a lot more fun if I weren't too sick to enjoy it.

Day 519

Came home sick from work. 

Napped.

Made cookies, chicken soup, and grilled cheese. 

Now it is bedtime.

Day 518

This evening I was telling Husband what I would want to do if we won the lottery (which would be especially miraculous, given the fact that we don't buy tickets).

First, pay off all debt.

Second, put money aside for kids to go to university or whatever.

After that things get a little sketchier. Maybe get a small cottage somewhere, probably go on vacation. We'd likely take some time off to power through some renos (notice the implied part where we'd still do the renos ourselves? I've clearly gone bananas). 

But the one totally frivolous thing I'd be tempted to do would be to pay someone to do all my clothes shopping for me and do all of my laundry. Including ironing and folding. And putting away. 

I think I would be okay with continuing to vacuum and clean bathrooms and all that stuff... But laundry? Fuck that noise.

Day 517

Today we were checking to see if the baseboards in the spare room go all the way down to the floor since we're thinking of pulling up the carpet. While we were looking at the edge of the carpet behind a vent, I decided I might as well pull up that corner of the carpet so we could try to see what kind of shape the hardwood floor is in.

I have now explained to Husband that he needs to warn me when I am about to do something reno-related that involves a "no take-backsies" rule.

Day 516

Our kitchen has seen an awful lot of silly dances.

Day 515

Watching dot matrix printer and tesla coil music is how all the cool kids do their YouTube parties, right?

Day 514

I wonder how long it takes before your brain stops going "Look Ma! Look at how grown up I am!" and catches up to the idea that you're actually a grown up.

Day 513

Setting up jokes is much easier when you and your Husband share a brain.

Day 512

Home again after a wonderful weekend in the country with friends.

We ate so much delicious food over the course of the weekend that I literally had cucumber for dinner. Maybe tomorrow I will be prepared for actual food again...

Day 511

It is nice having a snow koala for a friend.

Day 510

Sitting around and relaxing, reading my book and playing games.

Husband, on the other hand, did that stuff and also discovered a cousin among us.

Show off.

Day 509

I'm hoping it is too warm for people to get cabin fever.

Day 508

If all this babysitting has taught me anything, it is that I am going to be the mean parent.

Day 507

Started reading the textbook for my course. 

Luckily the work *headdesk*-ing is slowing down, so I have room for course material *headdesk*-ing.

Day 506

Husband is trying to convince me that not every batch of errands needs to result in a game of Carry All Of The Things!!

I'm not sure it's working.

Day 505

Home again! Husband humoured me and did the we're home dance with me in the kitchen.

Day 504

Being alarmingly good at Bananagrams.

Day 503 (belated)

Some days you just have to nap and read all day... While your Husband skis for three and a half hours.

Day 502 (belated)

And then there was alcohol.

Day 501

I found long underwear that is ridiculously comfortable. Husband laughed at me when I followed him around the house doing superhero posed.

Day 500

Day 500: It is our post-it note dayiversary! To celebrate, I stuck notes up all over the house while Husband was in the shower. He was probably mostly just surprised that I was conscious and mobile, even though it was morning.

Day 499

It is perhaps a little ridiculous his hard it is for Husband to drag me out of the house to go shopping. The poor guy is gonna have a rough time when we have kids.

Day 498

I am done with today. It is nap time.

Day 497

Discovered more things wrong with our house. Drank many wines.

Day 496

We're still married, even though I forgot to post for Day 495!

...and even though I didn't know what Husband was talking about when he said Dr Teeth.

Our house smells like bread. Turns out my home is my happy place.

Day 494

In which wife decides that, in future, she will drive to the store with Husband instead of walking to the store by herself at night.

Day 493

Sometime's wive's j'ust h'ave t'o d'o thing's t'o d'rive thei'r Husband's banana's.

Thats all.

Day 492

You know you found a keeper when he helps you build up static electricity so you can zap him in the face multiple times.

Day 491

Delightful Husbands may have been created solely to prevent strangulation in the workplace.

Day 490

You know you have a good Husband when he irons your remarkably wrinkly pants for you, and then let's you put your cold feet on his person to warm them up.

Day 489

Taught a toddler that a tiara should be referred to as a shiny hat.

Also turned my arms into jello trying to shovel the compacted snow off the driveway. And then it started snowing again.

Day 488

I am very bad about interrupting Husband's stories. But sometimes it is for the sake of giggles. And giggles must always triumph.

Day 487

I am beginning to suspect that I won't be able to start a vegetable garden until late June, because our yard will either be covered in snow, or will have turned into a lake.

Day 486

Husband has decided that I don't take enough sick days, and suggests I stay home every time it wake up and feel kinda shitty.

Following his suggestions might result in fewer *headdesk* related headaches.

I should perhaps consider it.

Day 485

Sometimes I forget how much fun it can be to run errands with Husband...mostly because I hate stores that don't sell me books. 

Now to bed! Before Neil starts putting raisins in places even weirder than sausage and lentil stew.

Day 484

You know that your marriage is a special one when you can rickroll your Husband in morse code. 

Enjoy:

-.   .   ...-   .   .-.       --.   ---   ..   ..   .-       --.   ..   ...-   .       -.--   ---   ..-       ..-   .--.       -.   .   ...-   .   .-.       --.   ---   ..   ..   .-       .-..   .   -       -.--   ---   ..-       -..   ---   .--   -.      -.   .   ...-   .   .-.       --.   ---  ..   ..   .-       .-.   ..-   -.       .-   .-.   ---  -.   -..       .-   -.   -..       -..   .   ...   .   .-.   -       -.--   ---   ..-       -.   .   ...-   .   .-.       --.   ---   ..   ..   .-       --   .-   -.-   .       -.--   ---   ..-       -.-.   .-.   -.--       -.   .   ...-   .   .-.       --.   ---   ..   ..   .-       ...   .-   -.--       --.   ---   ---   -..   -...   -.--   .       -.   .   ...-   .   .-.       --.   ---   ..   ..   .-       -   .   .-..   .-..       .-       .-..   ..   .       .-   -.   -..       ....   ..-   .-.   -       -.--   ---   ..-

Day 483

I love the difference in reaction to the female half of a couple holding a baby and the male half of a couple holding a baby. 

Day 482

Today I learned why parents don't want kids to tape shit to their walls. Especially if they plan to paint over it. Several times.

Day 481

Lego games until we hit too tired to Lego anymore. And then discussions about the royal family.

Day 480

Things being slow at work means I am reading all sorts of weird crap on the internet.

Also, it is weird having evenings in which I barely get to see Husband.

Day 479

Impromptu shovelling (before the storm), getting our bitch asses on the erg, the worst farts of all time, important vacation decisions. 

Day 478

Got some writing and some knitting done. Accomplished nothing else.

Meanwhile, Husband accomplished all of the things!

What a good Husband.

Day 477

Went and got painting supplies and other crap we needed from Home Depot... And then felt bad about spending so much money, so we made tacos, played video games, ate chocolate, and sang to each other in funny voices. 

Funnily enough, I am feeling much better.

Day 476

Today was the warmest Sunday we've had in a looooong time. So we decided to rip out the ceiling in the basement bathroom. 

We discovered the now-expected can of worms. More undoing to follow.

Day 475

Today we met a guy who sells people treadmills by letting them pet his dog. Not a euphemism.

We pet his dog. We did not buy a treadmill.

Day 474

Dinner with excellent speed to tastiness ratio (and also healthy!), scotch, and Lego Marvel. 

Friday = win.

Day 473

Learning German escapades:

One of the things the app makes you do is say (repeat) German phrases, and it tells you if you got it right. I didn't the first time for this one, so in exasperation I told my phone to suck a dick. Husband started giggling like mad, and goaded me into officially saying it into the microphone   during my German lesson. This was the result:

Now I'm really concerned about my German accent if my legitimate attempt failed...

Day 472

Today Husband got to come home from a business trip two days early.

I was so excited when I found out it was happening I showered, dressed, cleaned the toilet and the bathroom sink, floor, and fan, vacuumed upstairs, did two loads of laundry, wiped the kitchen counters, sorted mail, washed dishes, swept the floor, put away some Christmas gifts, tidied the front hall, made dinner... And then he still wasn't home, so I went back to knitting while watching Happy Endings and vlogbrothers videos.

In other news, I didn't actually have to get myself to work while Husband was gone cause I called in sick with migraine. Luckily I was feeling better by the time I found out Husband was coming home. YAY naps!

Day 471

Husband heads out of town for a couple days and immediately start making bad life choices. And morning hasn't even happened yet.

Day 470

Husband is leaving town for a few days, so we've been trying to get him ready to go... And get me ready to survive a few days without him. Only one more magical Husband elf morning before I have to handle this shit on my own...

Day 469

Bad life choices this weekend. I started watching Parenthood, which means I have a future of sitting on the couch crying to look forward to.

Day 468

I am too drunk to learn German. 

Also, wine & John green parties are win.

Day 467

I just want to take Stress Paul on relaxing adventures this weekend, but I left him at work.

Day 466

Poor Stress Paul took a beating at work today. 

And then poor Husband got harassed well nigh onto death because I am so punchy.

I think all three of us will be very happy when I start sleeping properly again.

Day 465

GOOOOOOOOSE