Day 860

Note to self: start compiling album of embarrassing photos of the lizard.

Day 859

Does my happy Lizard sometimes get possessed by an evil baby, or does my evil Lizard sometimes get possessed by a happy baby?

Day 858

STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR FOOD!!

Day 857

The Lizard does not approve of Husband going back to work, so she is spending every awake moment eating. Or pooping. Sometimes she poops while she sleeps.

Day 856

Netflix is the best thing to happen to breastfeeding since nipple shields.

Day 855

If you can hear your baby sloshing when you burp her, does that mean she's had enough to eat?

Day 854

Taking fewer pictures of Lizard because I am too busy playing with her. 

Day 853

Any day that starts with friends and pancake balls is gonna be a good day.

Day 852

Oh, the delightful bureaucracy that requires a seven week old to sit up in their passport photo. Luckily, derp face is still allowed.

Day 851

And then the baby fell asleep before midnight and I got confused because Christmas was last month.

Day 850

The Lizard is in the middle of growing out of a pile of sleepers and just finished a growth spurt; the kid is pretty much a moose. It's weird listening to people exclaim about how tiny she is.

Day 849

Pro tip: there is way more lint to clean out from between baby toes and baby neck folds when you switch to new flannel sheets.

Day 848

That one glorious moment that you think you may be able to get to bed at 10:30, rather than the normal bedtime of after two in the morning.... Until your little Lizard stomps on all of your hopes and dreams.

Day 847

The Lizard has been trying to condense as much development as possible into the last few days. At this rate, she should be graduating from university by the end of the month.

Day 846

Now we just have to convince the lizard to scream less and smile more.

Day 845

Yesterday, the Lizard smiled at me a couple times. Today she's smiled at me a pile of times, and smiles when I kiss her. Best developmental milestone ever.

Day 844

Sleep deprivation is excellent for making up new words. Like endonginator.

Day 843

The Lizard has daytime narcolepsy and nighttime insomnia. Also a bottomless stomach.

Day 842

Today I got to eat dinner while it was hot!

Day 841 (Bonus!)

It's possible that it is bedtime for everyone when you start trying to burp your own breast and Husband gives a receiving blanket - with no baby in it - a goodnight kiss.

Day 841

Lizard definitely gets an A for effort in Pooping 101.

Day 840

Lizards usually don't have to wear pink.

Day 839

If the Lizard tries to tell you she is starving to death, it is ALL LIES.

Day 838

I better get some pretty wicked breakfasts in bed for the buttonhole in my perineum.

Day 837

Having spent four hours feeding your kid on several occasions is much less terrible when you find out that it is because she is turning into a moose.

Day 836

Husband has developed magical powers of making the baby less angry. I can't imagine the terrible price he must have paid to attain them.

Day 835

Redditting while breastfeeding will probably result in even less sleep.

Good life choices!

Day 834

We have a baby who is one month old. She seems to be thriving, and no one seems to have died/gone crazy from sleep deprivation.

Huge success.

Day 833

It is strange and wonderful adjusting to a baby who sometimes stays awake after being fed, and is willing to stare and stare and stare... And then make gas-induced smiles at you that are easy to pretend aren't from gas at all.

Day 832

This is the feed that never ends; yes, it goes on and on, my friends.

Day 831

Sometimes you just have to remind yourself that your baby is not being an asshole on purpose. Babies don't even know what assholes are.

Stupid babies.

Day 830

Today the Lizard somehow managed to roll up the sleeves of her onesie. Apparently that was to indicate her intention to eat all of the things, all day long.