Day 1133

We all survived Lizard's first Halloween, although the puppy seemed pretty certain he wouldn't.

Day 1132

I should abandon the baby to Husband more often if that's the kind of happy baby we get out of it.

Day 1131

In a week of literally stunning bad news, a good pole-axing is quite helpful.

Day 1130

The good news is, it's been so long since the last diaper buster, I almost forgot how to deal with them. The bad news is.... It's been so long since the last diaper buster I kinda did forget how to deal with them... 

Day 1129

Because who needs daycare anyway? HA HA HA

Day 1128

Babies have an incredible knack for knowing what you don't want them to put in their mouths, and a special gear for zooming over when they see it across the room.

Day 1127

If you stub all your toes, the baby will just sit around and play nicely out of respect for your inability to chase her around, right?

Day 1126

We're still allowed to sleep in occasionally?!?!

Day 1125

Dear Baby,

You don't *always* have to be growing like a weed. 

Love, 

your mother.

Day 1124

Sometimes the baby tries to eat your face. Sometimes the baby tries to kiss (?) your face. Sometimes the baby throws up on your face. Today, however, marked the first time that the baby has burped inside of my mouth. 

Day 1123

A plague on the houses of people who call during naptime.

Day 1122

Babies can tell when you have plans. They have honed this ability so they can boycott naps at crucial moments.

Day 1121 (belated)

Got a new government and a cooperative baby for my birthday. The baby decided she should even things out, and declared sleep to be for chumps.

Day 1120

Walling off the play area with couches was one of the best ideas I have ever had.

Day 1119

The strangest things will suddenly make you realize that your baby is turning into a kid. Which then causes a huge flood of different emotions that are almost impossible to sort out... But your eyes definitely know they should be moist.

Day 1118

I just watched:

a. the baby sleepcrawl into the end of her crib, mutter, bonk it again, mutter, then curl up and sleep quietly and 

b. the dog army crawl under the crib (with a sleeping baby in it) instead of standing up and walking around.

Our lives are controlled by tiny insane people.

Day 1117

Parenting Do: rearrange your furniture so the baby is trapped in the middle of the room with lots of baby toys but no dog toys. Dog door may be necessary.

Day 1116

Husband just gets me.

Day 1115

Pretty sure the Lizard levelled up last night.

Day 1114

Sometimes you just have to stay home and cook yourself a nice duck ragout. Because fuck turkey.

Day 1113

Slow steps towards independence for Lizard mean rapid breathing for anxious parents.

Day 1112

Babies make it hard to have a good cleaning rampage. They're all "feed me" "pay attention to me" "EVERYTHING IS POOP!!".

Day 1111

The baby shows off her emotional spectrum.

Also, vegetables.

Day 1110

This too shall pass; your day may start with nipple biting, but it could end with surprise numismatics.

Day 1109

I wonder how old Lizard will be when my nipples forgive her...

Day 1108

The baby is now incapable of staying where you left her unless she is physically restrained. And even then I wouldn't want to bet on it.

Day 1107

Is it too much to ask to have one person in this family who is okay about going to bed at a reasonable time?

Day 1106

That thing where you don't know whether to be more anxious about the baby being looked after by someone else or because you're about to drive a car.

Day 1105

Is your to do list ever really completed?

Day 1104

It's weird being mad at a baby.

Day 1103

Life is much more fun if you read it as a comedy of errors rather than a tragedy.