Day 1711

Hazards of being married to me: you answer a FaceTime and get an eyeful of raw chicken and an earful of screaming baby.

Day 1710

In which Chinchilla brings home the booty, and Lizard picks new best friend based on their shared love of reading (Slinky Malinki).

Day 1709

To give your bad day a time out, Skype-watch a silly movie with your sister.

Day 1708

Candlelight is much less romantic when there's a baby in the house.

Day 1707

A new cooking toy and new cookbook make for happy Husbands and Wives and bellies.

Day 1706

Today the baby just wanted to sleep, eat, smile, and poop.

It was amazing and we should do that every day.

Day 1705

Reasons stores have those silly car shopping carts for kids: cause I kinda want to shop at Sobey's more so we can push Lizard around going "DRIVE DRIVE!! HONK HONK!!"

Day 1704

Parenting a toddler means knowing explosions are coming but not knowing what will set them off.

Day 1703

That thing where you take your huge baby to the doctor for an appointment and discover they're actually pretty dainty, as babies go.

Day 1702

With some effort, some good luck, and the good grace of our Lizard, Husband had a good birthday. He even got to snuggle with the littles! And play with his new toy! And watch Lizard eat delicious cake excruciatingly slowly!

Day 1701

Lizard learned to say 'Ummm'. I'm sure it'll drive me bonkers in a few days, but right now it's hilarious and delightful.

Also, according to our little sponge, we make stern faces when we ask if she's done eating... cause she did it to me today.

Day 1700

Never underestimate the strength of your kid's love for and curiosity of their younger sibling.

You half-jokingly ask if they want to change the baby's diaper, and suddenly they want to help wipe the baby's bum all the time...

Day 1699

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether your kid just doesn't understand a subject it if they're just trolling you.

No Lizard, the sandwich is not your mother.

Day 1698

And suddenly, after a chance meeting, bike rides are back on the table.

Day 1697

Today I carried a boxed BBQ into the house after it came in the mail.

Day 1696

Lizard helped make her first banana bread tonight. Hopefully it's okay that half of the butter was added somewhat belatedly....

Day 1695

It's probably not a coincidence that babies start social smiling at about the same time that they figure out how to scream reaaaaaally loudly.

Day 1694

This Mother's Day, I received the greatest gift of all: a toilet you can poop in*.


* Citation needed

Day 1693

Eurovision inspires bad life decisions.

Day 1692

First day home by myself with all the babies. I didn't cry (everyone else did), so I'm calling it a win!

Also, Lizard displayed her mastery of "ridiculous" and "absolutely". I am so on board with this.

Day 1691

Today's walk (brought to you by toddler) featured the most walking in small circles of all time.

Day 1690

"Mommy, I am going for a with my telephone. Okay? I'll come back."

Day 1689

Who needs sleep when you have Eurovision?

Oh yeah... parents with a new baby... and a toddler...

Poop.

Day 1688

Aaaaand we have social smiles!!

Also imagination. Lizard apparently played hide and seek with a dragon today.

Day 1687

More evidence we have a sponge for a kid: "Daddy, can you answer me?"

Day 1686

With parenting, sometimes you can't tell whether you've just done some brilliant or set a dangerous precedent that you will soon live to regret.

Like convincing your kid to let you brush their teeth by letting them brush your teeth.

Day 1685

I hope I am never too old for swings.

Day 1684

that thing where your kid is the age that the last thing you should do when they're overtired is bring them the food they asked for and put it where they tell you to.

Day 1683

Sometimes when you say you want to go for a walk, you actually just want to sit in your stroller, eat cookies, and watch the world go by.

Day 1682

Lizard, talking to herself in the backseat, apparently narrating her day:

"Izzy don't do that. Izzy don't do that. Izzy don't do that. Izzy timeout. Izzy go to bed. Izzy crying. Alice crying."

Day 1681

If I could have extra sets of hands, or be able to be in multiple places at once, but only for fifteen minutes per day, I would use it for getting home from the grocery store when it's dinner time for the toddler, poop time for the dog, and the scream time for the baby.

On days we don't go to the store, I'd use the extra hands for dressing a toddler. Maybe I'd find out how many hands are enough hands with a resistant kid...