Day 1894

Lizard is officially big enough for piggyback rides. I predict that there are some wild rumpuses (rumpi?) in our future.

Day 1893

Some days you just have to hang out in a tent snuggling with a teddy bear to cheer up your kid.

I volunteer as tribute.

Day 1892

Lizard got to help make crisp topping for the first time.

And we are discussing the additional privileges she might get when she turns three and ohmygod my baby is turning three in a week.

Day 1891

Babies have the uncanny ability of knowing when you need to have your shit together... so that they can keep you from sleeping the night before.

Day 1890

We were looking at dog toys at the store, and Chinchilla was apparently unprepared for squeakers. He started giggling like mad, which made another little boy in another shopping cart very excited. And for a few moments two families forgot about shopping and just enjoyed a baby laughing and laughing and laughing.

When we got home, Lizard was pretending to go grocery shopping, when suddenly she announced that she had to go home because she wasn’t being very nice to the people at the store. She seemed pretty disappointed in herself.

Day 1889

Today we were helping Lizard potty train two stuffed dinosaurs. Cause hey, it can’t hurt!

My favourite part was that even with pretend potty training, sometimes they don’t make it to the toilet in time.

Day 1888

Was away from Chinchilla for the first time since he was born. He mostly slept; I mostly wrote an exam. Next time we’ll try for something a little more exciting.

Day 1887

Chinchilla is not sympathetic to academic pursuits.

Lizard, on the other hand, has finally conceded that she might have to go to school before being a palaeontologist... albeit she plans to go to school “for French.” That should definitely help.

Day 1886

Chinchilla officially has the teeniest bit of his first tooth poking through the gum. I’m told it is visible to the naked eye, although he wasn’t being cooperative enough for me to see it myself.

He also ate spaghetti for dinner! We have now officially had all four of us eat the same food for the same meal all together at once! And now that he has tooth, we can really get going with the chunky stuff!

Day 1885

That feeling when your kid is super excited to go to the dentist, because she’s hoping they’ll give her a vaccination.

And that other feeling when your baby is suddenly eight months old. How many times did I blink?!

Day 1884

The whys have come in with a vengeance (why is it windy? Why did the wind knock the barbecue  down? Why did the stuff fall out of the barbecue? Why does the barbecue have gravity? Why doesn’t the barbecue need polysporin? Why doesn’t a barbecue have feelings?

Other things that have come in: telling stories in song, with accompanying interpretative dance.

Day 1883

Two phrases I introduced Lizard to, and which she has enthusiastically adopted: fuffing around and off to the races.

I’m excited about the public unveiling.

Day 1882

The dog SUPER does not appreciate the flurry of pacing and stair-walking right before bedtime that results from compulsions and a Fitbit.

Day 1881

No, Daughter.

I can’t pull the poop out of your bum for you.

No, not even with toilet paper.

Please don’t ask again.

Day 1880

Somehow it’s even worse when the baby has a short nap and it turns out they didn’t poop themselves awake.

Day 1879

That feeling when you discover another thing that you are more compulsive about than your husband: getting your steps in because the goddamn Fitbit told you to.

Day 1878

It seems that Lizard has discovered the word ‘why’. I expect that'sgoing to keep us busy for a long while.

And I discovered that Chinchilla thinks it’s really funny if you throw stuffed bunnies at or beside him and say “Bunny!”.... so that should also keep us busy for a long while.

Day 1877

Lizard had a lot of fun looking around at the toy store, and wasn’t at all concerned that we left without any toys. Told her we were going to the bookstore: “And we’re going to buy books for me to take home and read!!?”

Yup. Definitely our daughter.

And then we left the bookstore without any books for her, and she wasn’t concerned about that either.  I did grab her a brochure on the way out the door, which got her pretty excited. She demanded that it be her birthday present, and in the end I was forced to agree that it was an early present.

So she’s also definitely a little weirdo. But a very, very sweet one.

Day 1876

Today Lizard helped us make spaghetti sauce from scratch, explained that she was pushing poop out “the back of her bum” and was extremely concerned about the dinosaur with “a bleed” in the picture of dinosaurs eating a dinosaur, and prescribed bandaids as treatment.

Chinchilla figured out that he can haul himself to his feet holding onto the bars of his baby jail, and was so pleased with himself he immediately repeated the feat. He also tried to stand up using a laundry basket and his sister’s bed. So we have a looooot if bonks to look forward to in the near future.

Day 1875

If Lizard can maintain her enthusiasm for shovelling, we might actually manage to keep our sidewalks clear this winter. It’s a super effective way of tiring her out.

Also, Chinchilla did an excellent job of demonstrating why you shouldn’t have dinner late when babies are around.

Day 1874

My Darling Children,
I have some life lessons for you:
If you’re very tired, you should sleep.
Flapping your arms and bobbing your head around will not help me get food into your mouth any faster.
If someone says “Listen!” that is a clue that you should listen.
If someone says “this is hot, wait for a minute and be careful”, don’t immediately shove a huge bite into your mouth.
You always have to be dressed to go to the store.
The dog is not trying to eat you. Really.
Love,
Your Mother

Day 1873

Every once in a while, your kids like to remind you how very important it is that they get enough sleep.

Day 1872

I am very thankful to have such a sweet-tempered little boy, despite his much greater than normal snot volume, and the very slow probably soonish appearance of some teeth.

Day 1871

Thank goodness our kids have a long silly phase of overtired or the combined powers of ol’ No Naps and Insufficient Naps would have sunk us today.

Also, “The little doctor drank all her tea, and as she did it, she beganed to go in her cave.” !!

I’m so excited for when she starts telling her brother stories.

Day 1870

I wish that either more people in our neighbourhood would consistently shovel snow off the sidewalk... or that no one would. Then I could just strap some runners to the stroller, and attach some jingle bells to that sucker.

Day 1869

Note to baby: diversifying which bodily fluids you fling around for your mom to Mom to clean up adds both insult and injury. Don’t puke on the boob that feeds you.

Day 1868

Apparently, if you confuse your kid enough, their favourite dinosaur might end up being criminology, which stands on its paws to eat dinosaur plants in the water, has teeth just like a dinosaur, and which is the big dinosaur in the whole world.

Day 1867

Tonight Lizard pointed to her ankle bone and told me it was her foot nipple.

So it might be time for some more anatomy lessons.

Also, why are all the babies bad at sleeping today?!?!

Day 1866

You might be a parent if... someone literally pukes down the inside your shirt, and your reaction is a net positive because they kept all the puke in one place.

Day 1865

The passage of time does not seem to have dulled Lizard’s enthusiasm for sweeping snow. This year she might even be strong enough to be almost sort of a little effective!

In unrelated news, how young is too young to be in charge of clearing sidewalks?