Day 2595

I carved a cute silly pumpkin because last year our pumpkin was a little on the spooky side for Lizard. She cried when she saw it because she was hoping for a spooky vampire. I had some teeth and we were good to go.

Chinchilla was a little hazy on the exact logistics of trick or treating, so he kept trying to go into people’s houses. Luckily he is tiny and adorable.

Day 2594

Sometimes, when the baby keeps you up until all hours you wonder: how do moms stay awake when they don’t have portable internets? Or books? Or when their candle burned too low, and they were left in darkness? Or if they couldn’t afford to have the candle lit at all?

Day 2593

The baby kept me up late last night (she writes, 3am-ishly) so I slept through the big kids getting up for school/daycare. But when I woke up I found a stuffy in bed with me that one of them snuck into the room.

It’s a nice feeling that I have two sufficiently sweet and thoughtful kiddos that I wasn’t sure which one was responsible for the stuffy.

Take note, baby.

Day 2592

Used fresh air to tire out the baby and chill myself.

It was super effective.

Day 2591

Some days it feels like it’s not just that the children are conspiring against you, but that they are conspiring together against you. Even the ones that can’t talk.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO SLEEP IN SHIFTS, CHILDREN.

Day 2590

When you are the kind of parent who buys their kids Halloween socks specifically to troll grandma at Christmas, you should probably expect to end up with a flock of little trolls.

Day 2589

Lizard asked whether her grandma is shorter than I am because really old people start shrinking.

Yup.

Day 2588

You think you know what you’re doing by the time you have a third baby... but it’s still a surprise having to wipe her poo off her bicep.

Day 2587

Every now and again our chill little baby issues a stark reminder: babies be evil.

Day 2586

Chinchilla declares he knows french. After all, he can count to five after hearing his sister do it roughly a billion times.

Day 2585

Election Day: when concerned citizens are driven to drink watching the results come in.

Day 2584

If the kid is more excited about the ikea showrooms than the parents, hide all magazines forever.

Day 2583

Bringing sock puppet day to the next generation, even if their version of it is mostly a collage of stickers.

Day 2582

A reminder that even good babies are not inclined to respect a schedule.

Day 2581

Being a keener night be genetic. At almost a week shy of three months, Banana has doubled her birthweight and rolled over... five times.

Day 2580

The walk for office visits felt more like off-roading than normal. I got to see all the devastated trees and the ludicrously high river, and got to show off the baby and her excellent dinosaur sleeper... and I got to have a surprise lunch date with Husband. Which was nice even though we had a grouchy third wheel.

Day 2579

The leaves are falling, so it must be time to cut up the beets and put them in the freezer.

The snow is melting, so it must be time for flannel sheets.

Day 2578

The city is a tree graveyard. I am thankful that we got our sick trees dealt with a couple weeks ago so that they survived the storm. I am thankful that our house has power. I am thankful for my family, even when four year olds are a lot to handle.

Day 2577

Is your kid officially no longer a picky eater if she asks for zucchini spice cake for her birthday?

Day 2576

Despite being a weekly occurrence, going grocery shopping is apparently still a grand adventure that is a grave disappointment to miss out on. It makes me miss the enthusiasm of childhood.

Either that or she was sad about missing the cookie.

Day 2575

When your baby decides to spend as much time eating as sleeping during a day, and the snowpocalypse happens... it’s time for taking some deep breaths and setting the bar down near the floor. Or maybe just on the floor.

Day 2574

Apparently the universe decided Banana’s first glimpse of snow had to be an event, and went all in on blizzard.

Banana responded by sleeping through it.

Day 2573

I got out the next size of sleeper today and realized: we are very rapidly approaching the moment that a baby of ours will wear the adored crabby and duckie jammies for the last time.

Day 2572

All those years of lightning harvests with mom have paid off: harvested the carrots, tomatoes and beets while we waited for the pizza to come.

Day 2571

Someday someone will figure out how to make caffeine that can be absorbed through the skin and doesn’t get transmitted through breast milk, and moms will be ALL OVER IT.

Or robot nannies. We’d also take robot nannies.

Day 2570

Dear Chinchilla,

Baby shark is not a lullaby. A need for a hoard of kleenexes is not an emergency.

Go to sleep.

Love,

Your Mother

Day 2569

I suggested to Chinchilla that instead of yelling at his sister when she tries to explain something he already knows, he could say “I know already, but thank you.”

He took that idea and ran with it. Now anytime she says something he doesn’t like (like calling him small or telling him to stop talking and go to sleep, he just says “NO THANK YOU”.

I both think it’s hilarious and would totally understand if his sister were to throttle him.

Day 2568

In which Banana learns to play... when we tease her about her sadmotions.

Day 2567

Signs your kid might be a changeling: she stays home sick, decides to change out of pajamas and into a dress, and asks your opinion on which outfit option is the “most beautifulest”.

But also she thanked me for taking care of her while she’s sick and told me I’m a great mom, so I’ll probably keep her anyway.

Day 2566

I told Lizard I needed a break from reading and she suggested we could just look at the pictures and I could tell her what the words are.

Day 2565

That feeling when your baby has a crappy night of sleep.... and then naps straight through a tree getting cut down right outside her window.

As Chinchilla said, “woe are you”.