Day 2656

Christmas, Again is over! We have survived another Christmas! It’s a Christmas miracle!

Day 2655

It’s a proper home again; my jangling companion is back where he belongs.

Day 2654

The garbage final day of vacation when you have to travel home and your kids have gone feral and you don’t get enough sleep and you end up having a picnic on the floor of the airport.

Day 2653

Don’t count your puppies even after they’re hatched.

Day 2652

Provided moral support and watched a dog have four puppies. All three kids got to watch at least one birth too; they witnessed their first non-human birth on the same day their Grandma did.

Day 2651

Watching your brother peer pressure your parents into drinking and staying out late and feeling like asking for a pardon for all the shit you got in trouble for that he talked you into...

Day 2650

A full cup and desperately overtired children.

Day 2649

The kid most excited about Santa gets his first trip to the ER.

His big sister remained calm for the “big emergency” and helped him out as best she could.

Day 2648

It is always a delight sharing a fine baby with connoisseurs.

Day 2647

That feeling when the skittish puppy decides she likes you...

Day 2646

Eavesdropping on kids’ imaginative play is the best.

Day 2645

It is decided: no more flying with children who can’t toilet themselves.

Day 2644

Every time we start thinking about going on vacation, I forget that that means we will have to pack for vacation.

Day 2643

Peace at last; Husband is home again.

Day 2642

Those golden, glowing moments when the children are enjoying and supporting and caring for each other... before they start bickering about whether they’re bickering. Or bickering despite holding the same position on the matter at hand.

Fill your cup when you can; try not to headdesk.

Day 2641

I have offerings available to any gods that care to listen to ensure that my children continue to not bicker to the death.

Day 2640

A reminder that babies can sense weakness.

Day 2639

Chinchilla is very stubborn in his sadness: wouldn’t sleep train, will just stay lying face down on the floor being sad until you submit to long term hugs.

Day 2638

I have a daughter who can write words by herself.

Day 2637

The dog continues to be a favourite at the vet.

The boy is already known to his big sister’s principal (in a good way).

Our first school concert went off adorably well.

The boy stayed pretty quiet and clapped very enthusiastically for the performers. Banana sat calmly and watched the whole thing (while chewing on her father’s hand.

Every now and again I am struck by how very very lucky we are.

Day 2636

Another evening of evidence that no naps = super double extra two.

You know it’s serious when you can’t hug the extra two out.

Day 2635 (Belated)

When the baby sleeps for ages and you’re making bets with yourself about whether she’s going to be longer or whether she’ll have figured out a new trick when she wakes up.

Note from the future: she continues to sleep forever and her belly is gigantic. How long is this baby planning to be?!

Day 2634

This is how the machines take over: by giving their pet humans daily goals and trilling rewards and achievements.

Day 2633

Survived our first real kids birthday party. Where do we pick up our medal?

Day 2632

Counting down to when birthday celebrations will be over and we can go back to vegetables and sharing.

Apparently it’s pretty hard when you’re two and another kid is having the birthday that never ends...

Day 2631

Chinchilla did his wiggle dance and we all had a big family snuggle on the couch. Filling my cup.

Day 2630

My sweet girl came into my room this morning with a little note she made so that I would remember she’s five now.

It’s hard to forget when it goes so fast, and when you have such a sweet, smart, silly girl to celebrate and be proud of.

Day 2629

One day you put your four year old -one of the oldest four year olds in the world- to bed for the last time.

Goodnight, child four. Good morning, child five.

I love you always.

Day 2628

Everything is better when the baby sleeps and the course is over.

Except pneumonia.

Day 2627

Course ends; baby decides she can start sleeping in the evening.

Day 2626

Celebration of champions: Blue Planet and Chinese food.

Day 2625

A thing real life should borrow from musicals: the option to dance around in public when you’re happy without looking like a crazy person.

Also, dancing skills for everybody.

Day 2624

When you have a four month old, it is an uphill battle against soup brain.

Day 2623

Courses during maternity leave are not for the faint of heart.

Day 2622

That wonderful glow when...

All the adults at your kid’s school know her by name, are excited to see her, and without prompting tell you nice things about her.

When everyone at the doctor’s office is excited to see your baby because they like the other kids so much.

Day 2621

When you can hear city noises from your house... but there are also five deer napping in sight of your front window...

In other news, the dog will think you’re crazy if you give yourself a pep talk out loud. He’s probably right.

Day 2620

You might have a problem when even your bookworm four year old thinks you need to stop buying books until you have more shelf space...

Day 2619

I do not miss the high drama of early school friendships.

Day 2618

Kids messing up or combining expressions is one of my favourite things. Yes, Chinchilla. That should be the ticket.

Making up their own expressions also excellent: ‘what the pepper’ just keeps going.

Day 2617

Apparently Chinchilla has noticed that I do some of the work for him when he demands to tuck himself in. Tonight he was yelling “Help me tuck me in, mommy!” after we left the room.

Day 2616

The shattering realization that your daughter feels like you yell at her most of the time... and the overwhelming awe and pride that she is responding to that by trying to be kind and respectful, which she feels will make everyone’s life easier.

Day 2615

My poor Chinchilla has installed a dimmer switch and he is turned way down low. I wish I could snuggle him back up to his normal bright-eyed, chatty self.

Day 2614

I got Chinchilla so thoroughly convinced of the merits of getting a flu shot that he was quite disappointed that he wasn’t allowed to get one because he was too sick. Although it might also have had something to do with the fact that the nurse was, according to Lizzy, “mostly the nicest person ever”.

Day 2613

Maybe if we buy enough humidifiers and give enough snuggles, the colds will finally go away...

Day 2612

Even if you see the sausage being made, it still seems like magic when you witness your kid starting to really read on their own.

Day 2611

The baby bestowed her favour; she wasn’t absolutely terrible about sleep last night and she cooperated for naps so I could get my project done. She hasn’t wanted to support my daily endeavours to get through course material, so maybe she’s just trying to increase the difficulty level without making it impossible...

Someday we will teach her that you don’t have to be a tough guy. It’s okay to have fun.

Day 2610

Chinchilla can be so heartwarmingly and hilariously adorable... and then swing wildly into extra two. The big chunks of adorable make it a lot easier to be patient with the extra two.

Day 2609

That feeling when your kid suddenly starts speaking in full sentences in her second language...

Day 2608

We’re getting into the barest beginnings of play.
I can’t wait until Chinchilla discovers he can make his little sister laugh. He’ll explode with excitement.

Day 2607

That feeling when your daughter tells you not to make annoying noises “If I have to ask you one more time...”!

Although she did finish by saying that she would tell me arretez. Not exactly bringing the hammer down.

Day 2606

Before playing Peter and the Wolf for your kids, make sure you are prepared to listen to it all the time, forever. Or at least be ready for them to demand it.

Upon further reflection, that probably applies to every piece of music you play anywhere near your children.

Don’t even hum it unless you want to hear it hummed more or less accurately forever.

Day 2605

In which Chinchilla adopted a passive aggressive ‘by the way’ (“I’m sick, by the way”), and announces that his throat is bad.

Day 2604

Trolling your kids is the best trolling.

Day 2603

The only person who approves of the baby’s sleep schedule is the dog, whose favourite thing in life seems to be napping with his people.

Day 2602

You might be raising a pedant if your kid corrects the pronunciation of her father’s sneeze.

Day 2601

Curiously, it seems to be harder to get a two year old to stay still for a picture post-haircut than it is to get them to stay still for the haircut.

Hopefully I won’t be accused of ruining his hair quite so often now.

Day 2600

The giggles are coming. Any day now, full giggles.

Day 2599

Babies are so good about lulling you into a false sense of security. You so want to believe that you’re going to be allowed to sleep now....

Day 2598

Daylight savings happened and it looks kinda like I might be going to sleep at an almost reasonable time for the first time in weeks.

Break the baby’s nap schedule to fix the baby’s sleep schedule.

Day 2597

Submitting assignments a couple hours before the deadline feels curiously anticlimactic.

And then the baby kept me up until the deadline anyway. Apparently we had to supervise the time change.

Day 2596

Dear Baby,

I will wait longer for giggles if you let me sleep at night.

Love,

Your mother

Day 2595

I carved a cute silly pumpkin because last year our pumpkin was a little on the spooky side for Lizard. She cried when she saw it because she was hoping for a spooky vampire. I had some teeth and we were good to go.

Chinchilla was a little hazy on the exact logistics of trick or treating, so he kept trying to go into people’s houses. Luckily he is tiny and adorable.

Day 2594

Sometimes, when the baby keeps you up until all hours you wonder: how do moms stay awake when they don’t have portable internets? Or books? Or when their candle burned too low, and they were left in darkness? Or if they couldn’t afford to have the candle lit at all?

Day 2593

The baby kept me up late last night (she writes, 3am-ishly) so I slept through the big kids getting up for school/daycare. But when I woke up I found a stuffy in bed with me that one of them snuck into the room.

It’s a nice feeling that I have two sufficiently sweet and thoughtful kiddos that I wasn’t sure which one was responsible for the stuffy.

Take note, baby.

Day 2592

Used fresh air to tire out the baby and chill myself.

It was super effective.

Day 2591

Some days it feels like it’s not just that the children are conspiring against you, but that they are conspiring together against you. Even the ones that can’t talk.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO SLEEP IN SHIFTS, CHILDREN.

Day 2590

When you are the kind of parent who buys their kids Halloween socks specifically to troll grandma at Christmas, you should probably expect to end up with a flock of little trolls.

Day 2589

Lizard asked whether her grandma is shorter than I am because really old people start shrinking.

Yup.

Day 2588

You think you know what you’re doing by the time you have a third baby... but it’s still a surprise having to wipe her poo off her bicep.

Day 2587

Every now and again our chill little baby issues a stark reminder: babies be evil.

Day 2586

Chinchilla declares he knows french. After all, he can count to five after hearing his sister do it roughly a billion times.

Day 2585

Election Day: when concerned citizens are driven to drink watching the results come in.

Day 2584

If the kid is more excited about the ikea showrooms than the parents, hide all magazines forever.

Day 2583

Bringing sock puppet day to the next generation, even if their version of it is mostly a collage of stickers.

Day 2582

A reminder that even good babies are not inclined to respect a schedule.

Day 2581

Being a keener night be genetic. At almost a week shy of three months, Banana has doubled her birthweight and rolled over... five times.

Day 2580

The walk for office visits felt more like off-roading than normal. I got to see all the devastated trees and the ludicrously high river, and got to show off the baby and her excellent dinosaur sleeper... and I got to have a surprise lunch date with Husband. Which was nice even though we had a grouchy third wheel.

Day 2579

The leaves are falling, so it must be time to cut up the beets and put them in the freezer.

The snow is melting, so it must be time for flannel sheets.

Day 2578

The city is a tree graveyard. I am thankful that we got our sick trees dealt with a couple weeks ago so that they survived the storm. I am thankful that our house has power. I am thankful for my family, even when four year olds are a lot to handle.

Day 2577

Is your kid officially no longer a picky eater if she asks for zucchini spice cake for her birthday?

Day 2576

Despite being a weekly occurrence, going grocery shopping is apparently still a grand adventure that is a grave disappointment to miss out on. It makes me miss the enthusiasm of childhood.

Either that or she was sad about missing the cookie.

Day 2575

When your baby decides to spend as much time eating as sleeping during a day, and the snowpocalypse happens... it’s time for taking some deep breaths and setting the bar down near the floor. Or maybe just on the floor.

Day 2574

Apparently the universe decided Banana’s first glimpse of snow had to be an event, and went all in on blizzard.

Banana responded by sleeping through it.

Day 2573

I got out the next size of sleeper today and realized: we are very rapidly approaching the moment that a baby of ours will wear the adored crabby and duckie jammies for the last time.

Day 2572

All those years of lightning harvests with mom have paid off: harvested the carrots, tomatoes and beets while we waited for the pizza to come.

Day 2571

Someday someone will figure out how to make caffeine that can be absorbed through the skin and doesn’t get transmitted through breast milk, and moms will be ALL OVER IT.

Or robot nannies. We’d also take robot nannies.

Day 2570

Dear Chinchilla,

Baby shark is not a lullaby. A need for a hoard of kleenexes is not an emergency.

Go to sleep.

Love,

Your Mother

Day 2569

I suggested to Chinchilla that instead of yelling at his sister when she tries to explain something he already knows, he could say “I know already, but thank you.”

He took that idea and ran with it. Now anytime she says something he doesn’t like (like calling him small or telling him to stop talking and go to sleep, he just says “NO THANK YOU”.

I both think it’s hilarious and would totally understand if his sister were to throttle him.

Day 2568

In which Banana learns to play... when we tease her about her sadmotions.

Day 2567

Signs your kid might be a changeling: she stays home sick, decides to change out of pajamas and into a dress, and asks your opinion on which outfit option is the “most beautifulest”.

But also she thanked me for taking care of her while she’s sick and told me I’m a great mom, so I’ll probably keep her anyway.

Day 2566

I told Lizard I needed a break from reading and she suggested we could just look at the pictures and I could tell her what the words are.

Day 2565

That feeling when your baby has a crappy night of sleep.... and then naps straight through a tree getting cut down right outside her window.

As Chinchilla said, “woe are you”.

Day 2564

I am the goose.

Day 2563

Lizard went to her first birthday party, overcame her fear of bouncy castles, and developed a distaste for cheese pizza.

Chinchilla decided he wanted to be a grouch and live in a garbage can. Apparently grouches say “toot toot!”

Day 2562

The emotional rollercoaster of parenting: when you’re kissing him goodnight, your son says “I love you, you’re a good mommy.”... and an hour later he’s still awake and you have to take away the vast collection of books and stuffies in his bed because you got so mad that you threatened to do it if he kept talking.

Day 2561

That feeling when your kids are staying up way, way, waaaaay past their bedtime.

Day 2560

Trying to introduce more ludicrous exclamations for my children to repeat. “Blistering barnacles” and “oh my giddy aunt” have entered the rotation.

And my four year old asked me to lower my voice today because she could barely hear herself read.

Day 2559

Dear Baby,

Because we (strongly) believe in vaccinations, and because of your epic powers of grumpiness, you did not get to meet the justices of the Supreme Court.

You can decide for yourself whether I was trying to save you from your grumpiness or save the justices from it.

You’re welcome.

-Your Mother

Day 2558

A day of remembrance, thinking of my niece who is now a teenager. Remembering how much time I spent with her as a new baby makes me really miss living in the same city. Time flies even faster from far away.

Day 2557 (corrected)

You expect for plans to go awry when you have kids. I still wasn’t prepared for our ice cream fiend to refuse ice cream; for our walking fanatic to refuse an opportunity for a walk.

The curveballs keep getting curvier.

Day 2577

If you require cheering up because you got a new phone, there might be something wrong with you.

Day 2576

Worst time to have the camera on your phone crap out: when you’re home with a new baby.

Day 2575

Banana slept through the biggest storm of her young life. I napped through part of it; the thunder inspired some apocalypse-level storm dreams, and when I woke u I was surprised to find the branches still on the trees, the grass still rooted in the dirt, and some scattered puddles on the road.

Chinchilla enjoyed the storm from daycare. The thunder, he says, “says BOOM!”

Day 2574

How long do four year old memories last? Lizard is still giving me heck for a terrible zucchini loaf I made last year (although by her estimation it happened ninety years ago). Luckily she says she loves me anyway. I’ll probably need to make a chocolate chip one to help her forget...

I accidentally swore in front of her tonight, and she promptly repeated it (echoing my vehemence). I explained that it was a bad word and I shouldn’t have said it. “But Mama, you encouraged me to say it because you said it!”

Day 2573

If a tree falls in your dreams, does it never fall in real life?

The house is very quiet with no husband in it.

Day 2572

Some days you get the princess and some days you get the goblin.

Day 2571

You shouldn’t get reminded why you hate being outside during the summer when it is September.

Just LET FALL FALL.

Day 2570

We seem to be raising kids with a really strong sense of morality; we watch a movie and they demand to know why the villain is being bad, and exclaim over the villain being mean, or doing things that are unsafe to others. That behaviour is just incomprehensible to them.

That does not seem to be stopping Lizard for picking up a big dose of defiance from kids at school. Apparently “I don’t have to if I don’t want to!” doesn’t register as being bad. I’m not sure it always is; but holy mackerel it is at the very least super aggravating for her parents.

Day 2569

Lizard was getting me to poll people she knows who have lots of kids about whether having that many kids is hard, and whether a dad is required. This is probably related to her stated plan to have five kids and teach them ballet and how to be princesses, without a dad. No job. (I haven’t yet informed her that she is unlikely to be independently wealthy.)

I tried to explain why dads are helpful with new babies, and now she thinks we should have an overnight wet nurse (or “a girl babysitter so the baby gets feeded”).

The questions were easier to answer in simple language when she wanted to be a palaeontologist.

Day 2568

Sometimes life with kids is basically just a re-enactment of If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.

And by the end of it you find yourself thinking ‘Well, I guess we’re never buying shoes again.’

Day 2567

Trying to imagine what it would feel like getting a call from the principal’s office on the fourth day of kindergarten because your kid is being bad... when you have a kid who hugs the principal on the fourth day of kindergarten because she loves her.

Day 2566

Someday Lizard will figure out the implications of saying things like “I’m being pretty good at school these days.”

Until then, we’ll just hide our giggles.

Day 2565

After some late reservations, Lizard seems to have decided that she loves school... and that it might be even better than daycare.

I have survived the emotional process of having a child start school, but have discovered that I did not steel myself sufficiently in preparation for the truly atrocious French pronunciations that are now coming out of my daughter.

Day 2564

Apparently Lizard has already learned that butter makes everything delicious.

And then she knocked her milk over for the millionth time and the evening went swiftly downhill.

Although we did still manage to bathe all the children.

They also managed to bathe themselves in their own tears.

Day 2563

My children are not shy with their criticism; Chinchilla told me it was not nice to peel the zucchini, and Lizard rather pointedly commented that she was holding the baby’s head since I wasn’t.

<deep breath, try not to giggle, explain>

Day 2562

It’s one of the most magical days of the year: Giveaway All Your Crap Day! 

Also, aimless walks with little people are great. And don’t feel aggravatingly pointless, maybe because they tire out the little people.

Day 2561

In no way a surprise: Lizard made friends with the principal on the first day of school.

Also, Lizard had a happy and successful first day of school, and I am so, so relieved.

Day 2560

‘‘Twas the night before first day of school, so of course Lizard has a fever.

Meanwhile, I let him tuck me into his bed one time, and Chinchilla has decided he should be the parent now.

(And I’m the kid named Nude.)

Day 2559

Are you really allowed to send babies to kindergarten so soon after they’re born?

Day 2558

Going on adventures is a lot easier when you don’t have small children with you. Unless they’re teeny tiny children.

I look forward to medium children. But I’m savouring the hermitting with my littles.

Day 2557

I accidentally told my four year old that the polar bear mascot at the zoo eats people.

It was only when she burst into tears that I realized we were talking about different polar bears.

Day 2556

People autopilot is a splendid and terrifying thing. Partly because you only realize it’s on (or was on) when things go a little wrong...

Day 2555

It was not all gas. The baby officially smiles now.

So she knows she can get away with torturing us more now.

Day 2554

Dear Baby,

Based on new information that has recently come to light, your application for Best Baby requires further review. We’ll advise you of the committee’s decision in due course.

Best Wishes,

Your Mother

Day 2553

Being cute is an important survival skill for babies who don’t sleep properly.

Day 2552

Chinchilla’s superpower is hugs.

Day 2551

No one is as contrary as a two year old who just got exactly what they asked for.

Day 2550

Does it still count as a growth spurt if it never stops?

Day 2549

“We need to get in the car to go see the wind. And the rain.” -C

Apparently we are raising a storm chaser. DO NOT APPROVE.

Day 2548

Scientists should really look into why it is that when you put an particularly exhausted baby down for a sleep, they always seem to end up with a violent case of hiccups.

Day 2547

Banana is already one month old because every time you have a kid, the world starts spinning a little faster.

Day 2546

We’ve now successfully destroyed all the cedars on the property. Now we can plant trees and bushes that are actually useful and make delicious fruits.

Day 2545

Chinchilla doesn’t seem to resent the fact that the baby sometimes requires my arms and attention; he’s figured out that if he wants me, he just needs to convince another adult to take Banana.

Day 2544

That feeling when your baby is four weeks old and has gained more than two pounds and people are still asking how many days old she is...

Day 2543

This baby doesn’t believe in looking angelic when she’s sleeping; she prefers grumpy face. Or ‘Concerned About the State of the World’ face.

Day 2542

The baby is forcefully reminding me that sleep-related baby miracles do not strike twice.

They exist solely to dangle Hope in front of exhausted parents.

Day 2541

Glow-in-the-dark pajamas for a newborn: not as catastrophic as feared.

Larger children: volatile.

Day 2540

The dog has secretly learned more English. He can now tell when we’re talking about going out... so that he can start shivering uncontrollably in preparation. Or start sending himself upstairs to go in his box.

Day 2539

Chinchilla continues to be the best at hugs and snuggles. That kid hugs with his whole heart.

Day 2538

We’ve officially moved into a bigger germ pool.

Lizard, at four, just discovered that when you stay home sick you get to stay in your pajamas. I have a sneaky suspicion she’s going to become very familiar with the sick day routine.

Day 2537

I would not recommend having both parents be sick while you have a sick kid and a baby.

I would also not recommend having both parents be sick when you have a baby and a healthy two year old.

Day 2536

Never ever call a small child’s attention to their scraped knee.

Day 2535

If the baby keeps trying to race her way up the percentiles, I predict more naps for my future.

Day 2534

Successfully socialized all three children! Realized that when we hang out with our friends, we’re going to have a high percentage of the number of kids... and probably a much lower percentage of the volume of kids.

Day 2533

That feeling when everyone is surprised to learn you have three kids... Nope, not actually fourteen. Don’t want to think about what that would mean for when I had the first one...

Day 2532

This is likely our most well-travelled two week old; she is really making me remember that taking my babies out in public means people feel compelled to comment about how tiny they are.

And to the parents of the kid who thinks girls aren’t supposed to like dinosaur clothes: you’re doing it wrong.

Day 2531

That feeling when you hear another kid ask your kid if she wants to be friends...

Day 2530

Lizard and Chinchilla started at their new daycares. Lizard is a little appalled that they don’t enforce time for naps. She’s also about to learn to eat faster the hard way.

Chinchilla didn’t nap because he was too busy doing ALL THE PLAYING.

Day 2529

Banana went for her first walk today; she is apparently susceptible to the bounce of the stroller, just like her siblings before her.

And for a couple hours this evening, all three kids were asleep in their beds while we were downstairs doing things. Feels a little like magic. And a little sad, because it means no snuggling.

Day 2528

It’s amazing how much more human you feel after one night of almost reasonable sleep...

Day 2527

I was expecting that there would be times that all three kids would be grumpy at once, or would need help at once... I was hoping it wouldn’t happen when both parents were so spectacularly overtired.

Day 2526

Apparently it *is* possible to get groceries with three kids. At least when one of them sleeps the whole time.

Day 2525

Gramma departs; now we have to figure out how to actually manage three kids on our own.

Day 2524

Reminder to Baby Banana: when we call you tiny, it’s not meant as a challenge.

Day 2523

It’s kinda fun introducing people to my unbelievably tiny baby.

Day 2522

You kinda forget how disconcerting it is to hear another human poop their pants in front of you...

Day 2521

Screw the problem of evil, what about the problem of newborn hiccups at bedtime?!

Day 2520

It is a splendid joy to go back and look at old pictures and videos of our babies.

And, with some years of padding, the horrors of the early inputs and outputs doc for newborn Lizard are now pretty hilarious.

Day 2519

That feeling when your son accuses you of being a grilled cheese sandwich.

Day 2518

Chinchilla told us very vehemently several times that there’s no such thing as North America.

It’s become obvious that we’re going to spend a bunch of the summer trying to convince the older kids not to put blankets on the baby.

Day 2517

We have added a Banana to our little mixed flock.

Chinchilla is in love; his new favourite activity is giving his baby sister’s head smooches.

Lizard was initially a little concerned about the interloper, but seems to be moving toward adopting the role of final arbiter of what is good for baby.

Day 2514

Countdown

Day 2513

It is hard to believe that our sweet, silly, snuggly, irrepressible boy will very soon not be our baby any more.

Makes me need more of his amazing hugs...

Day 2512

How to take a day off parenting: supply your kids with a willing Gramma and a tower of books.

Day 2511

Last day of daycare and nobody cried; Chinchilla discovered the joys of telling Gramma every little thing.

Day 2510

Lizard is tired of us taking care of her all the time, and would like Gramma to take a turn already. Apparently being with the same two people all the time just isn’t fun.

How interesting.

Day 2509

Lizard is apparently a little planner. She’s started working on pictures to give to me when we get back home from the hospital with the new baby, was snuggling with her daddy because she’s going to miss him while he’s at the hospital, and was suggesting I write out recipes for tacos and fajitas just in case grandma doesn’t know how to make them.

Day 2508

One week or less until moose baby...

Day 2507

Lizard’s self-proclaimed areas of expertise seem to increase quite regularly. Identifying owls is the newest; old hits include growing cucumbers and making peanut butter and jam sandwiches (she advocates for the controversial ‘put peanut butter and the jam on one slice, then stack the second slice on top’ method).

Day 2506

I asked Chinchilla what kind of bed we got for the baby, and his answer was a “tummy bed”.

Although he might be concerned about whether the baby is warm enough in tummy bed, as we’ve previously discussed the fact that my uterus can’t grow blankets.

Day 2505

Chinchilla: “I love my gramma so much. My gramma loves me a lot, a lot, a lot.”

This little dude is going to make his gramma’s heart grow several sizes.

Day 2504

“Mommy, can you take off your shoes and give me a hug?”

Yes. Always, yes.

Day 2503

I keep thinking Chinchilla has reached peak silliness.

Nope.

His silliness appears to have no limits. The mind reels.

Day 2502

Chinchilla accidentally blew bubbles in his water cup and was helpless with mirth for several minutes... and sucked his sister into it too. He now thinks drinking water is HILARIOUS.

Day 2501

Apparently we have created an almost medium sized baby who isn’t in a hurry to come out. The third kid already wants to be special and different...

Day 2500

Note to my young children: do not try the patience of a woman who is eight months pregnant.

Day 2499

Lizard spent several minutes describing how much she loves our dog, then: “Our Bertie: he’s better than nothing!”

Day 2498

There is much wailing and gnashing of teeth when four year old feelings and two year old feelings collide.

Despite all the dramatics, these tiny people are also so good at forgiving each other. And when they give each other hugs (that don’t involve someone getting tackled to the ground), it’s the most adorable thing.

Day 2497

My favourite part about the kids planning things out for when Gramma’s here are all the things that they’re not sure she knows how to do, or that they might need to explain to her. Like how to make peanut butter and jam sandwiches. Or how to prepare a bowl of Rice Krispies.

Day 2496

Lizard has sung Do Re Mi so many times over and over and over that her two year old brother knows all the words now.

Can we go back to let it go?

Day 2495

“Why are you so funny? Is it because of genetics, mama?”

And then when I asked her to repeat that to her daddy, she told him that she asked whether I got being funny from her Gramma. So I guess my four year old has a very basic understanding of what genetics means...

Day 2494

That feeling when the four year old starts lecturing the two year old on his deficiencies and is using the parental ‘we’.

“We just need you to be more careful. You need to pay more attention. And you need to tell us right away when you make a mess.”

Day 2493

Lizard has started dictating recipes for us to write down. They never have an ingredient list and they always seem to involve lots of whisking.

Tonight I got to try banana grape lemon bread.

Day 2492

*Nesting intensifies*

Day 2491

It was an early end to movie night when Lizard abruptly burst into tears and announced she was too tired and wanted to go to bed. And then chastised us for choosing a movie option that was too long.

Apparently her parents were being irresponsible. Luckily, I think she wasn’t mad.

...just disappointed.

Day 2490

Chinchilla, putting veggies in the salad bowl for me: “Look at me go!”

Day 2489

Teaching our kids to make chicken noises in the car to entertain themselves. What could go wrong?

Day 2488

Our Lizard might be a planner like her mum. She’s already asking us questions about what her Gramma knows how to do so she can identify any holes in her abilities in advance. It would be terrible to find out at the last minute that Gramma doesn’t know how to make peanut butter and jam sandwiches- although Lizard has announced she is ready and willing to give lessons on that.

Day 2487

Before we left the house this morning, Chinchilla put away his pretend vacuum cleaner and wished it sweet dreams.

And the children decided that while it’s unacceptable for their gramma to call them duckies, they’re totally fine with “goosegoose”.

Day 2486

A long weekend of productivity and fun and relaxation, and I’m beginning to suspect I should take vacation days more often...

Day 2485

That feeling when your two year old startles an old lady by talking while little; and both kids disconcert her further by being quiet and patient in the store. And then you flabbergast her by being much more pregnant than she expected.

Day 2484

Chinchilla climbs onto my lap with a book. “You read me pout-pout fish. Put down your phone!” Then he grabs my phone from my hand , puts it down beside me, snuggles onto my lap, picks up my hands and puts his book in them. “You read me pout-pout fish.”

He is perhaps a little more hands-on than his sister was about getting what he wants...

Day 2483

The kids got their first taste of pop. I let them try some after it had been sitting in a cup for a while. Lizard decided it hurt her mouth and gave up on it immediately; Chinchilla went back for more. Lizard did discover and appreciate the glories of ketchup chips, so she’s not a total loss.

Day 2482

It’s hard to believe that someday my little monkeys will be too big to sit on my lap and snuggle while I read to them.

Day 2481

Lizard has become obsessed with Halloween. Today she drew her grandma in a Halloween costume; the other day she drew a Halloween parade and a nightmare.

(A pink squiggly figure, in case you were wondering).

Chinchilla is obsessed with reading books and snuggling.

And helping cook dinner. And sampling chopped vegetables.

Day 2480

That feeling when your kids ask you to stop reading your book so you can read their books to them instead...

Day 2479

It shouldn’t be this much fun to walk beside tiny humans learning to ride bikes. It is.

Day 2478

Lizard has apparently reached the age where she purposefully gathers an audience so she can perform at them.

Day 2477

This morning Lizard was disappointed that her brother did not follow her good example of getting dressed quickly. “He should have! I followed my own good example!”

Day 2476

Chinchilla has reached the age where it is possible to give him something and no matter how recently he asked for it, you will still have been devastatingly wrong to give it to him.

Day 2475

Lizard told me very sincerely to take my sweet time, and I find it so incredibly adorable that she has entirely missed the context for the use of that phrase.

Day 2474

A day that you’re feeling old, tired, and very pregnant is definitely the right day to run errands, make ridiculous dinner, and plant a bunch of the garden. And then clean up after ridiculous dinner.

Day 2473

Sometimes surrender is the most successful strategy.

Day 2472

Someday we will have children with proper palates who will appreciate wonderful dinner... in the meantime, I get to have really superb leftovers for lunch.

Day 2471

For the first time in over two years, no one in the house is sleeping in a crib tonight.

Day 2470

Metaphorical storm at work passes; actual storm threatens.

Chinchilla watches a lego movie and gets very excited about the idea of taking his own head off.

Day 2469

When the little one offers his big sister one of his last apricots with his sister, even though she has some of her own...

*heart explodes*

Day 2468

Watching a second kid growing up, and seeing the bond growing between the two kids is wonderful. Chinchilla went to check on his sister while she was having a bath. “Hello! Are you having a good time?” And then came and stood with her to hold her hand when she got out of the tub. So stinking cute...

Day 2467

Lizard drew a picture of two mountains and asked me whether the little one looked smaller than the big one. I acknowledged that it did.

“That’s because it’s further away.”

Boom.

Meanwhile, Chinchilla advised me not to ‘talk to my mouthful’.

Day 2466

I goofed. Our son has now adopted the phrase “you ruined it!”

And childcare providers continue to be astonished by how little and wordy our daughter is.

Day 2465

This morning Lizard and Chinchilla put two diaper boxes together and put a pillow inside. He got in, and she tucked him in with blanket and a stuffy and brought him a pretend plate of snacks. Then she pushed the “stroller” around the hallway.

This afternoon they fought over who got to mash tuna in a bucket.

Day 2464

Chinchilla announced his intention to poop on the potty, so his sister started teaching him about noises she makes to help her poop. Chinchilla liked the concept, but decided to run with his own variation: hoots and buzzes.

Day 2463

Chinchilla: Can I be the bad guy?

He asked later if he could be a minion. That seems more up his alley. It’s hard to imagine such a good snuggler being terribly villainous.

Day 2462

The first words out of Chinchilla’s mouth when we picked him up from daycare: “I’m sweating in my  shoes!”

Same, buddy. Same.

Day 2461

Chinchilla tells us he is the scariest. Of fire.

He certainly has a flair for attention-catching snippets of story.

Day 2460

Apparently our Lizard turns into a piranha when confronted with chicken drumsticks.

Day 2459

Assembled Lizard’s big twin bed. Got uninterrupted pep talk and enthusiasm from her while it was in progress, and she had and her brother just kept having serious giggle fits after we put them to bed.

I think they might like the change...

Day 2458

I love when my kids have one-on-one time with other adults. Look at my tiny humans! Aren’t they tremendous?! I love sharing them so other people can enjoy them too.

Day 2457

Lizard said she was going to tell us a story. Chinchilla jumped in: “Once upon a time there was a little girl. No! Once upon a time there was a little vampire and a giant.”

I was already hooked, but he didn’t continue. Maybe he’s just a storyteller in the style of Mr Martin, and I’ll just have to wait a few years...

Day 2456

Chinchilla, out of the blue: “I’m in a mood.”
Me: Oh no! You’re in a mood?!
Ch: I’m in a mood. Of crying.

...never did learn what our cheerful fella thought he was in a mood of crying about.

Day 2455

Today we learned the hard way that when Lizard says she has something under control she means, as she explained later, “things are not exactly going very well.”

Day 2454

Super effective: encouraging a two year old and four year old to say happy birthday as much as they want. They’ll even recruit their friends!

...I may regret this by the time my birthday rolls around.

Day 2453

Our neighbourhood owls seem to be multiplying!

I’d probably be more excited about this if I hadn’t seen a rabbit brazenly cross the yard under the tree with three owls sitting in it. Apparently they didn’t hear me egging them on...

Day 2452

We saw a dead deer at the side of the road. Because I’m that mom, I suggested it may not have looked both ways before crossing the street. Lizard says “That’s a surprise! Deers usually look both ways!”

Day 2451

Chinchilla continues to melt hearts with his love for babies.

Day 2450

This morning Chinchilla was snuggling with us and announced that he’s an elephant dropping. It’s unclear what he thinks that means.

And when is Eurovision going to get their shit together and crown Måns Zelmerlöw emperor for life?

Day 2429

While tucking Chinchilla into bed, I said “I love you so much.”

He responds: “I always love cake.”

Day 2428

That feeling when you’re explaining global warming to a four year old to justify to her making tacos with lentils instead of beef...

Day 2427

I can’t decide whether our little Zumba aficionado is just compulsive about getting their exercise in or whether they’re trying to stretch my uterus with kicks. Maybe both.

Day 2426

Chinchilla: Do you like my little nose?... Do you like my little face? ... Do you like my beard? Do you like my like my little hair?

Day 2425

Standing with neighbours, talking about the owls dealing with the bunny population, Chinchilla suddenly loudly announced “owls also eat mice!”. I am ridiculously proud of our clever boy.

Day 2424

Successfully built a dresser, despite the enthusiasm of our helpers.

Day 2423

Lizard was telling us about how bad her baby is, and I tried to explain some of the challenges of parenthood.

And then she started listing all the bad things her baby gets up to, and it was a little discomfiting how readily these outrages came to mind.

Day 2422

As we were walking home:
Chinchilla: It’s taking hours. It’s taking hours...
Me: it’s taking hours to walk home?
C: Yes! It’s taking hours to walk home! It’s taking hours to walk home. Oh my god, mommy. I say, oh my god. It’s taking hours to walk home.

Day 2421

Quality snuggle time makes everything better.

Day 2420

Performing miracles down to the penny.

Day 2419

Today I learned that the hamster dance is like crack to an overtired four year old.

Day 2418

Lizard has read her first book.

Day 2417

Spent all our money so we can do the grand reshuffling of beds and car seats in preparation for the baby.

Discovered that it takes Chinchilla at least a couple days to recover from the excitement of staying with grandparents. It’s been a while since I’ve had him fall asleep on me...

Day 2416

I love when Lizard uses her persuasive voice and tries to tell me things like I shouldn’t pick movies I want to see, I should just watch what other people want to watch, and then I’ll be happy.

Even better when she adds a “does that make sense, Mama?” at the end.

Day 2415

A few days ago, Lizard asked me what a metaphor is and I told her it’s like a simile and I’ve been pleased with myself ever since.

Day 2414

Lizard’s pretend cooking is starting to involve troubleshooting. “I put lemon in the cookies to make them more flavour-y. That made them really juicy, so I added chocolate chips.”

Note: do not accept baking tips from four year olds.

Day 2413

Chinchilla has started making demands about where he wants his bedtime kisses: Cheek! Other cheek! Forehead! Nose! Mouth!

Which is adorable.

But I draw the line at “In my mouth!”, ya goofball.

Day 2412

Chinchilla has picked up a conversation starter from his sister.

To a female neighbour: “Hello mister! Do you like my hat?”

And he’s picked up a phrase from his parents, which seems to be a favourite: “what’s all this ruckus!?”

Lizard picked up “fricking” as a modifier.

I have my preferences.

Day 2411

C: I spy...with little eye... something... that is ... the store!

Us: Is it the store?

C: YOU GOT IT!!!

Day 2410

Put together an Ikea puzzle, rearranged all the toys in the living room, and read books: nesting done right.

Day 2409

Chinchilla has announced that he needs a helmet because he needs a bike. Fair enough.

Day 2408

That feeling when you hear your kids talking to each at bedtime and one tells the other to stop whining, and a few minutes later the other one is telling the first one it’s time to stop talking and go to sleep...

Day 2407

I love playing a new song for the kids and having that result in an impromptu dance party. Almost makes me want to listen to the radio...

Day 2406

They started the day as beeping robots and ended it as cozy bananas.

Day 2405

Lizard had her first solo schoolish experience when she went for her kindergarten assessment, which she thoroughly enjoyed.

She also tried to convince me that she’s as sick as I am because she has, in the past, coughed and sneezed. Yeah, definitely the same as uncontrollable coughing fits, kid.

Day 2404

You don’t notice how quiet the house is without kids in it if you nap the whole time.

Day 2403

Lizard and Chinchilla were super excited about hunting for Easter eggs, and then had a lot of fun actually finding them... and then Lizard asked *why* the Easter bunny hides them.

I was not expecting to have to explain to the four year old that some things are just for fun.

Day 2402

Chinchilla finally got the blueberry cake he’s been asking for.

I hope he comes up with more cake ideas; the first one was delicious.

Day 2401

Pandemonium as daddy comes home and all the kids have to talk at him and bark at him at once.

Day 2400

Lizard is very good at stoically withstanding the pain of having her wounds cleaned; she’s absolutely terrible about them the rest of the time.

Day 2399

The kids ate their vegetables and then barely ate pizza. I can’t decide if that means we’re winning or losing at parenting. Maybe winning at parenting, losing at being human.

Also, Chinchilla called his sister sweetie and told her she’s a good helper.

Day 2398 (correction)

A few missed days after being home with the kiddos and falling asleep too hard.

Being with them solo all day for several days allows me to confirm that kids are wonderful, fascinating little monsters, and I love my funny little monsters to bits even if they give my temper-controlling muscles some exercise.

Day 2391

New explicit house rules: don’t throw books or pillows at your sibling.

Day 2390

Some people just can’t help being competent.

Day 2389

I keep making Chinchilla sad because I tell him we don’t have cake.

I foresee many, many days of sadness for him.

Day 2388

After spending two days excitedly talking about the new couscous recipe we were going to try, Lizard was profoundly disappointed when she realized the new couscous recipe was different than the old couscous recipe.

Day 2387

Chinchilla is now calling himself Mister Toot, which he thinks is hilarious, and Lizard keeps thinking he is saying Mister Two, which was her joke - cause he’s two, you see. Djagetit? So she thinks that’s hilarious. She’s already looking forward to when he’ll be Mister Three. And Four. And Eight. Ya see? It’ll never get old!

Day 2386

Chinchilla decided out of the blue that he needed to sleep in mommy and daddy’s bed tonight. When I brought him there to snuggle and settle down, he just wanted to chat about EVERYTHING.

His sister wrote four cards for her daddy to welcome him home again.

And just when I finally got the snow heap spread out enough to actually melt, it snowed *again*.

Day 2385

When I ask Lizard if she can do something for me she has started answering “I certainly can!”

And today Chinchilla gave his sister a giant long-lasting hug and said “I love you so much”.

Also, he decided he would fly after his daddy on a business trip so they can play toys together.

<heart explodes>

Day 2384

Great big stewing vats of feelings.

On the plus side, when Lizard was promising to be “a helper not a hindrance” if I let her out of the cart in the produce section, her brother cheerfully announced that he would be a hindrance.

Day 2383

Chinchilla trying to choose a stuffy to go in his bed: “Hmm. Hmmmmm. Hmmm. Hmmmm..... hmmm. Hmm.”

Chinchilla after spilling the tea things off the tea tray “Oh no! That’s bad!” And then carefully puts the tea things back on the tray one at a time... only to let them slide off again. “Oh no! That’s bad!”

And they might not have been tea things, strictly speaking. That’s certainly what they were shaped like, but he told me he was making meat pancakes, so who knows.

Day 2382

Chinchilla: who probably can’t remember the last time we went to the library, still plays at going to the library. While wearing his Mommy’s shoes.

Day 2381

The stars aligned: the day I discovered it was Weiner Wednesday, I’d already planned to have smokies for supper. We’re all weiners!

Day 2380

If you want to torment the parents of a four year old, play Yellow Submarine for the kid.

Also... Chinchilla has started pretending to be toast. Which doesn’t seem to mean anything in particular other than saying that he is toast.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Day 2379

Sometimes you get glimpses of your kids as teenagers; Lizard with her big feelings and Chinchilla who answers questions like “who are you calling?” and “what are you building” by saying “somebody” or “something “.

Unrelated, but he has also been becoming unsettlingly adept at evil laughter.

Day 2378

Lizard’s new favourite excuse for not napping: we didn’t let her run around like a maniac, so she’s not tired.

Meanwhile, we did take them out for a walk, which was long enough that Chinchilla decided it was an adventure. During the walk he was a bird, a bear, and a Cookie Monster. Which sometimes meant walking slowly because he was flapping his arms, and sometimes meant stopping to nom cookies... and sometimes it was slow because he wants to walk through the deepest snow by himself.

We might have made more than one independent kiddo.

Day 2377

Chinchilla is now Jerry, the pirate king. He packed imaginary cookies to go work with him, and then got in his chair-boat and floated to work.

This was after his sister got mad at him because he kept eating all of the imaginary cookies that she made for everybody to share.

I tried to explain that imaginary goods don’t suffer from scarcity, but she wasn’t buying it.

Day 2376

Chinchilla finds nonsense words that rhyme with chicken fingers particularly hilarious. I think this kid needs more Seuss in his life.

Day 2375

That feeling when your four year old prefers writing letters to drawing.

...and your two year old starts using the word shawl.

Day 2374

Playing a taco rhyming game with kids:

L: Tacos tacos everywhere!
Parent: Tacos tacos in my hair!
L: Tacos tacos in a box!
P: Tacos tacos with a fox!
L: Tacos tacos in a bucket!
...

And then Chinchilla just kept talking to himself about tacos tacos...

Day 2373

Chinchilla has discovered bestowing kisses on people, and he does it with great enthusiasm. And loud smooch noises.

Also, sometimes he sneezes on your mouth.

Other than that part, it is extremely adorable and delightful.

Day 2372

First day good; brain mushy-mushy.

Day 2371

Praise and support from an unexpected source.

Day 2370

I happily and gratefully accept one of the best gifts that our monkey ancestors gave to us: the piggyback ride.

Day 2369

Trying to wrap up the last of a big rushed project while also bidding farewell to the end of an era - and also a large group of people - is a challenge. 

But I finished, and it’s time to move onwards and upwards.

And now I can say I am one of the lucky few who got to partake in their own funeral snacks.

Day 2368

The highlights for Chinchilla on his birthday: showing his cousins his jumping prowess; waving to his cousins; showing his cousins fascinating things like his hands, his blocks, and his shirt; and playing with Mommy’s bee hair.

Day 2367

“No, I didn’t say either of you was a tablecloth”, and other arguments we have at the dinner table.

Day 2366

Confirmed: we are having one baby!

Also: the ultrasound powers that be have determined that I am less pregnant than I was yesterday.

Achievement unlocked: Infinite Endive!

Day 2365

Things Chinchilla has learned to say because he thinks it’s funny:

I’m so sad
What the pepper?
Holy guacamole!
Knock knock who’s there?
Be quiet! Shhhh! Be quiet!

Also, he’s not a boy, he’s a pirate! Yes, he’s a pirate king! No, he’s not a glorious pirate king, he’s a pirate! Or maybe a pumpkin.

Day 2364

Chinchilla takes up humming; Lizard takes up an obsession with Saint Patrick’s day and wearing beautiful dresses to mark the occasion.

Day 2363

The idea of having a birthday cake might be more exciting for Chinchilla than actually eating it.

Also, he’s not a boy, he’s a captain.

Also also wik, Lizard might be naturally adept at negging. Better buy that girl a fedora.

Day 2362

Our bucket of feelings runneth over.

Day 2361

For this week and this week only, I can say I have 2.5 kids.

 Ideal adulthood achieved!

Day 2360

That feeling when you realize that your 90’s nostalgia game didn’t actually give your laptop a stroke... you just button mashed your way into a fun keyboard shortcut display experience.

Day 2359

Skipping down dosbox memory lane. Many sighs of contentment.

Day 2358

When your kid only wants to cuddle (aside from that brief, and in retrospect curious, interlude of drum playing), check their temperature.

Apply medicine; resume cuddling.

Day 2357

Chinchilla has a new game: he “hides” by burying his head into your shoulder and then counts into your neck.

Apparently there is no end to his ingenuity for being adorable and silly.

Day 2356

Chinchilla has started amusing himself by answering questions by saying “yes...or no.”

It’s partly aggravating because it is 100% my fault.

Day 2355

Lizard makes a card for a guest: “Thank you for coming. I love you”

Kids have such big beautiful hearts.

Day 2354

Chinchilla, who is obsessed with pumpkins, has decided he is a pumpkin. He eats like a pumpkin (holding his hands over his head, bending over to pick up the food with his fingers, then pushing it into his mouth while trying to keep his arms over his head) and he crawls like a pumpkin (holds hands together over his head, pushes with his legs, and plows his face across the floor).

Lizard does not appreciate this tomfoolery. “He’s not a real pumpkin! I want him to stop with this pumpkin stuff!”

C: “I’m a real pumpkin!”

Day 2353

And then everything changed...

Day 2352

That feeling when you’re having pancakes for dinner and your four year old starts suggesting options for vegetables to have with them... because she assumed that vegetables were part of the plan. Because of course vegetables for dinner!

Day 2351

Dear Chinchilla,

You figured out how to go to sleep ages and ages ago. What’s up with this? Why you gotta torment your poor hormonal pregnant mother with your sobbing and crying and piteous moaning?

Go back to knowing how to go to sleep, please.

Love,

Your Mother

Day 2350

Picked out Lizard’s next bed. Bought shelves, which she worried wouldn’t fit in the van with her in it. It wasn’t actually a problem, but it was still funny to realize that she might have better foresight than her parents.

The expedition utterly exhausted poor Chinchilla. For the first time, I managed to get him inside, out of his coat and boots, and into his bed without waking him up.

Day 2349

We now have two children obsessed with bringing us birthday presents for our pretend birthdays. If I really had birthdays this often, it wouldn’t seem so unreasonable when they present me with my pretend grandchildren.

Lizard is apparently planning to have seventeen children, and she is going to teach them to do ballet and be princesses. Between her work as an palaeontologist and/or astronaut.

Day 2348

That feeling when you’re snuggled up with your four year old watching Snow White and she says “because the witch just doesn’t want her to live, right?”

And your not yet two year old says while getting his toenails clipped: “Dan I do it byself?”

Day 2347

Yes, my boy. That is a mighty spoon.

Also, what kind of toddler won’t eat rice?!

Day 2346

Kindergarten information night: so parents stop hyperventilating about the big change for their little babies.

Also, they do a post-registration, pre-September assessment of all the kids, and I am super excited to hear what they have to say about Lizard.

Day 2345

We had to start explaining how brains work to Lizard today. I wonder how long I have to wait before I can crack out my brain surgery for beginners book...

Day 2344

Lizard demands to know what we’re making for dinner (and then sometimes demands more options if she’s not happy with the answer), and then she announces what she’s making for dinner... and for dessert... and for extra dessert, in case we’re still hungry.

Day 2343

I wonder how big a kitchen you need if you have five people who all want to bake at once when three of them need to be on stools...

Day 2342

New strategy: major penalties for petulance.

Day 2341

Today I learned it is possible to be too grumpy for broccoli pizza. But only for Lizard.

Day 2340

Chinchilla covered a book a book in construction paper, handed it to me and said “Open it! Open it! It’s a present!”

And then at bed time he said “I want a diss!” And then gave me a huge smooch. Twice.

So my heart is basically just a puddle now.

Day 2339

Nothing seems to offend Lizard’s tender sensibilities quite like her brother pretending to be something she doesn’t want him to pretend. And nothing gets him riled up quite like his sister telling him he’s not allowed to do something he wants to do.

Whatever could go wrong?

Day 2338

MAMA! MAMA! MAMA! MAMA!! MAAAAAMMMMAAAAAA!!!

Day 2337

We were looking for a specific princess book and Chinchilla grabbed his bumbo, effortfully picked it up and then raised it triumphantly as high as he could “I found it, you duys!”

My under-two has picked up ‘you guys’. I don’t even know how to feel.

Day 2336

Oh my dosh... Oh my dosh...

Day 2335

Overwrought Lizards do not take criticism or helpful suggestions well.

And somehow Chinchilla learned to make a ‘straining to lift something heavy’ face, and can execute it to great comedic effect.

Day 2334

Between the ‘thank you home’ card, the surprise loaf, and the forever hug I think the kids might have been excited to have their daddy home again.

Day 2333

Turned the converted crib around so Chinchilla wouldn’t be able to get out of bed AGAIN at nap time. I fixed it after I got him up but he insisted that it be turned around at bedtime and that I lift him into bed.

Apparently he just wants a big kid bed like his sister or a crib. No half measures.

Day 2332

Follow the advice you give the four year old. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Let it go.

Also, King George III?!?!? REALLY?!?!?

Day 2331

Separate the children and they are sweet snuggly darlings. Put them together and the bonking and screaming and crying begins.

I really hope this calms down once they can burn off energy outside again...

Day 2330

We might have to start saying ‘let’s look it up in the dictionary!’ If Lizard keeps asking us questions out of the blue about what words like ‘ever’ and ‘most’ mean.

Although it’s always possible that would only make it worse...

Day 2329

Chinchilla seems to have figured out that he can put as many books and stuffies and blankets in his bed as he likes... if he waits until we’ve left the room. It’s kinda funny doing the count in the morning of after nap...

I’m just waiting for the day that the count is : all.

Day 2328

I love when Lizard tries to persuade me. Her logic is adorable and she thinks she’s so sneaky.

But yeah, as you said, it does make sense for us to go to the other superstore if someday all of the lights in our normal superstore burn out.

I also love it when Lizard pulls out totally absurd phrasing for a four year old. Like “all that remains”.

Day 2327

Chinchilla on humour:

C: knock knock!
Me: who’s there?
C: Do-nana ME!!!

Day 2326

If this was foreshadowing for the teenage years, send help in ten years. Also alcohol.

Day 2325

Chinchilla was enthusiastically “helping mommy” make dinner by moving around my water bottle, trying to pull off all of the stalks of celery, and shoving green shoots of raw garlic into his mouth.

Then he stole daddy’s fork and replacement fork and stuck them in his bowl with his own fork and spoon and proudly announced “I have three borks!”

Day 2324

He’s Superman! He’s Astronaut Boy! He’s JackJack! He’s Cookie Monster!

Or as Chinchilla says it: dookie monter, which is also appropriate.

Day 2323

Question of the day: where would an under two put a pair of glasses when no one is looking?

Day 2322

“How much garlic is appropriate, Daddy?”

Day 2321

It’s kinda fun having a mid-day daddy return so I can see the excitement building, and then unleash the little devils to bestow a flurry of hugs.

Also, apparently Chinchilla is Astronaut Boy now.

Day 2320

Such marvels: Lizard making up lullabies on the fly to cheer up her little brother and lending me a stuffy so I wouldn’t be lonely; Chinchilla pretending to be the dog and then counting to seven out of the blue.

Day 2319

Lizard and Chinchilla were pretending to have 17 babies, and were working together to put them to bed. Seeing them reading and singing to their stuffies, and picking up their “cradle” to rock it back and forth together made me feel like we must at the very least be setting a good example.

Day 2318

If you give your kids flashlights, they will run around shrieking exploring the pretend forest. This will keep them occupied and thoroughly entertained, but will also get really annoying.

If you suggest they go camping in the pretend forest in an attempt to quiet them down, they will look at the four blanket options and promptly start fighting and crying over one blanket.

Until one kid gets so upset she refuses to camp, and shuts an imaginary door to leave her brother alone in the forest. When he pretends to open the imaginary door, she will rage scream in his face.

You will think longingly of the days that they were exploring the forest, and the loud noises were at least happy noises...

Day 2317

Two pants is one pant too many to wear.

I should not be colder than Curiosity.

Day 2316

Our kids today: in really great moods, aside from all the crying.

Day 2315

If you don’t mind incessant roaring, I’d recommend suggesting your kids be lions and getting them to hunt for stuffies.

Also, apparently stand mixers are pure magic to little boys. “Go round! Go round!” He doesn’t care if anything needs mixing, he doesn’t even have to see it to start remembering its glory. It’s just magic. Like the vacuum cleaner.

Day 2314

Every type of pasta is Lizard’s favourite type of pasta.

She’s almost not wrong... but only because we don’t feed her the stupid pastas.

Day 2313

One of my favourite things is Chinchilla’s unbridled enthusiasm for pizza.

Day 2312

Lizard’s new thing is getting us to spell out words for her one letter at a time so she can write them down.

Words like ‘tyrannosaurus’ ‘pterodactyl’ ‘person’ and ‘triceratops’.

Day 2311

Still gobsmacked by Lizard asking how to spell kangaroo ... and then asking whether it’s an uppercase k or a lowercase k.

Day 2310

Babies successfully sat on. Car successfully not crashed.

Bertram has a new snuggle buddy.

And now I have had enough excitement for the week.

Day 2309

That feeling when it’s Monday night and you’re already falling asleep on the couch...

Day 2308

Took the kids to get passport photos. Lizard had a lot of trouble not smiling; Chinchilla is a natural for passport photography.

Day 2307

Chinchilla loves babies. Or at least baby cousins. Now if only we could convince him to be as gentle (or at least as not-bitey) with his sister...

Day 2306

We’ve officially entered the realm of the kids staying up late lying in bed chatting and giggling together.

Day 2305

Lizard told me to decide what we would have for dinner while at work, but not to tell anybody. I asked her if it was top secret.

Nope.

“Bottom Secret.”

She has also started showing her brother how to write letters, because he is obsessed with “doing letters.”

“Let me show you how to do an A. Now you try!”

Day 2304

Lizard, having discovered that Ottawa has beds - even kid beds! - has decided she would like to go there “at some point. That would be very exciting for me!”

“...so when are we going?”

Day 2303

Lizard’s vocabulary is expanding to include an astonishing variety of colloquialisms and her questions are getting increasingly challenging to answer. “What’s a spreadsheet? What’s a process?”

And then she’ll say thing like “Tell me everything about your day at work. I’m listening.”

Day 2302

Four year olds with exciting news are irrepressible.

Day 2301

Achievement unlocked: babysitters found!

We might actually sometimes leave the house without children in tow!

Day 2300

Some people are much harder to surprise than others.

Day 2299

My daughter is old enough to have sneaky suspicions.

Day 2298

Yoga: affirmations and ab explosions.

Day 2297

Contrary to Chinchilla’s firmly held belief, not everything is purple and not every animal roars.

Day 2296

Distracting your children with tacos and/or pizza so you don’t have to go for a walk in the cold: A+

Having to listen to them fight over new toys inside instead: C-

Getting to eat pizza and tacos: makes it all worthwhile.

Day 2295

It’s almost as if exercising almost every day and eating well for a year makes you healthier. Curiouser and curiouser.

Day 2294

The best way to start your day is to finish your coffee, then get out of bed because it smells like the bacon is ready.

Day 2293

We converted the crib into a bed for Chinchilla today, so I guess we don’t have a baby anymore...

Day 2292

Never run out of chicken fingers.

Day 2291

Lizard has invented the Destination Cookie Party.

Although it turns out that she thinks a destination is a person or a furry animal that is a destination elephant. Or “it’s a kind of thing where everyone gets lots of cookies in total.”

Regardless, I’m on board.

Day 2290

Adulting! With adult friends! At adult dinner!

Day 2289

It’s a grumpus rumpus!

But at least we managed to get a bunch of tidying and laundry done.