Day 2687

If you’re going to have a house full of sick kids while you’re also sick, make sure one of the children is a non-judgemental infant with a smile that heals your soul.

Day 2686

Have fortified two of the babies with strong doses of daddy; now to get enough sleep to deal with the enthusiasm of the bigs when they have their turn.

Day 2685

At what mucus by volume does one cease to be human? Maybe once the mucus had a majority you’re just considered a troublingly ambulatory mucus blob.

And at fifty percent, you become a weird hybrid with an uncomfortable portmanteau: hucus? Muman?

Asking for a friend.

Day 2684

Having a sick baby while you’re sick is not to be recommended. Adding another pair of sick kids is just straight idiocy.

Day 2683

Even with all the bickering that inevitably results, you realize how much the kids entertain each other when you only send one of them to school.

Day 2682

When your dog abandons you to sleep with your visiting mom and

You realize he’s totally going to keep doing it after your husband leaves and

You’re going to be sleeping totally alone for the first time in years and

Day 2681

When your sick baby wakes up a snot monster... with booger gobs all over her little face...

But it’s still exciting because it’s the longest sleep she’s ever had in her crib.

Day 2680

Sick babies are the most pathetic babies and stuffy-nosed baby snores are the most adorable snores.

Day 2679

How to make the dog go absolutely bonkers: one surprise visit from Gramma.

Day 2678

Dear Baby,

Are you trying to give me a kiss or eat my face? It should be easier for your victim/recipient to tell the difference.

Best Wishes,

Your Mother

Day 2677

There comes a point in parenting that you aren’t always sick - right?

Day 2676

Dear Baby,

Have you tried not pooping your pants when you’re supposed to be sleeping?

Best wishes,

Your Mother

Day 2675

And the last kid starts on the path of not being dependent on mother...

Day 2674

Sometimes you really have to wonder what is going on in our boy’s silly little head. “We don’t poop in ears.”? “Helicopters go ‘I WANT MY FOOD!’”?

And more importantly, what do helicopters eat?!?

Day 2673

I love that the realization that it’s Friday made Lizard exclaim because we didn’t have a broccoli dinner... but she didn’t comment on not watching a movie on movie night. Gotta love broccoli priorities.

Day 2672

The manic giggles of our son; our daughter trying to teach her brother empathy; our baby just beaming when you smile at her sweet face.

Day 2671

Using Comic Sans as an act of protest is surprisingly cathartic.

Day 2670

There’s nothing quite like having a hard day when your kid is also having a hard day so that you can also feel like a bad parent for not having any patience for their attitude.

Day 2669

The conflicting feelings, every time: so excited and proud that your baby is learning to crawl... but also goddammit, where’d we put the baby jail?! Now this baby doesn’t stay where you put her.

Day 2668

Some days are made for refining your ability to find silver linings.

Day 2667

Things I have sacrificed for chocolate oranges: dollars, time, and the glass top of our coffee table.

Day 2666

In which the baby discovers rollcomotion, and more baby proofing is suddenly required.

Day 2665

One of the strangest things about kids is finding out about the rules that they quietly assume exist... sometimes based on an offhand remark uttered one time.

Stuffies count as toys, sweetheart. You can play with them like toys.

Day 2664

One of my favourite things about having multiple kids is witnessing the older ones teaching the little ones.

Day 2663

To add an interesting new dimension to your yoga practice, try incorporating a small neurotic dog in desperate need of snuggles.

Day 2662

Every day can be improved by a silly living room dance party.

Day 2661

When your two year old tells you he’s aggravated... (maybe pronounced angervated?)

And gaining a new appreciation for your parents keeping everyone shod without strangling them.

Day 2660

That feeling when you find a new book to be your friend

Day 2659

The baby is probably not possessed.

Day 2658

Lizard has announced her wish that we have another baby and use her brother’s name again; she decrees this would make them twins.

Her vocabulary might need some refining, but at least she likes her brother enough to want another one...

Day 2657

Only our Chinchilla could manage to vomit blueberries into his own buttcrack.