Day 2869

One of the most miserable regular bits of parenthood is being sick when your kids are sick.

Also being sick when your kids are healthy.

Clearly, parents should just not be allowed to get sick.

Who do I call about that?

Day 2868

Chinchilla’s new strategy to delay going to sleep: save the poops for bedtime. 

His strategy for getting more chocolate: poop a little bit at once, nine thousand times throughout the day.

Day 2867

You know you’re in for a fun time when everyone is a little sick and the kids are so exhausted they won’t go to sleep.

Day 2866

Sometimes your kids ask you questions about what words mean or how the world works and you end up going down the rabbit hole a little bit.

And then sometimes it’s a weirdly specific rabbit hole and you end up learning what paperwork is required to import a camel from Minnesota for immediate slaughter.

Day 2865

2020 is pushing the boundaries of how sideways a Monday can go.

Day 2864

Never assume your potty training kid couldn’t possibly have any more poop left in them.

Day 2863

The more birthday cake, the merrier

Day 2862

They should teach meditation in prenatal classes.

And then have another round of classes when your kid is 2/3 and you get a refresher. Also suggestions for potty training.

Maybe another set of classes for when your five year old asks for explanations of periods, religion, and global warming.

Day 2861

Banana is one. We have no more babies, just a flock of silly, rambunctious, delightfully weird kids.

Day 2860

It’s official: pass the baby is now a game.

Although in eight minutes it will be pass the toddler...

Day 2859

Even when you have crested the peak of three, there are still many rises on the way down.

Day 2858

And daycare begins for sweet Banana. I want to share her with the world so everyone can appreciate her and also keep her to myself. The usual agonies.

Day 2857

Further anatomy lessons seem to be required.

Day 2856

We’ve discovered Banana loves the eighties and I suspect we’re about to have a lot more dance parties.

Day 2855

If the bickering continues, everything will be forbidden.

Day 2854

It’s hard to leave work at work when you work from home.

Day 2853

Note to self: if you’re going to hide on the top bunk, make sure you have enough time to get up there without anyone seeing you.

Day 2852

The Day the Inbox Hit Zero

Day 2851

And so ends the final maternity leave.

And a beginning: Banana decided it was time to walk.

Day 2850

Parenting teaches ruthless efficiency.

It’s so funny to think now that we used to think we were busy. And what counted as getting a lot accomplished.

Day 2849

Hat!

Day 2848

Babies have a terrible habit of growing up too fast. Especially if they’re your last one. Or your first one. Or your middle one.

Day 2847

“Who needs plans when you can just wing it all the time?” -2020

Day 2846

2020: The Year of the Foiled Plans.

Day 2845

One of the great joys of parenthood: getting all the ruddy baby stuff out of your house.

Day 2844

Reveling in secondhand kitten and less oppressive heat.

Day 2843

The high stakes ‘afraid to poop’ potty training is not my favourite. Giving someone pep talks for two days is tiring. Especially when you’re squeezing the pep talks in between getting screamed at...

Day 2842

Maybe I should start tracking the books I read to the kids and increase my books read goal for the year to 450.

Not counting board books, obviously...

Day 2841

Chinchilla wants to know how many years until he dies. Lizard wants to know how many years until she’s a teenager. 

<internal screaming>

Day 2840

That feeling when your house is slowly trying to cook you...

Day 2839

What’s more Canadian than tart squares?