Day 3020

 Eat my shorts, 2020.

Day 3019

For a weird time, google New Year’s Eve for your city. It’s going to be a strange one to mark: everyone is so eager to leave 2020 behind, but also incapable of celebrating the normal way.

Day 3018

 Goddamn alarm clocks.

Day 3017

 Baking holiday over, regular baking begins...

Day 3016

 Banana was running around playing with her big sister today. And maybe said her name. And also started saying uh oh. And also realized pretending to chomp things gets laughs.

As usual with this kid’s development, we’re in trouble.

Day 3015

Our boy has decided his new Spider-Man toy and his old Kristoff toy are his babies. He’s been nursing them and putting them to bed and this morning when I went on to wake them he was squatting beside his bed so he could birth Spider-Man.

In some ways I will be relieved when they get back to fighting crime...

Day 3014

 Every now and again you luck into a perfect photo of your kid. Today we got two. And I haven’t checked the actual camera yet...

Day 3013

 Roasted a whole turkey for the first time, and a bunch of vegetables... didn’t bake a single thing.

Day 3012

Every once in a while you get a reminder of how very very weird the world is right now. Like.... empty mall parking lots.

Day 3011

 We’ve been talking about making fruitcake for... I don’t know, a decade? Finally accomplished. Probably this means we are officially married now.

Day 3010

 It’s hard to be mad at the baby for putting her bowl on her head when she starts making a little gangster sneer underneath it.

Day 3009

 Vacation time = baking rampage

Day 3008

You learn early about the dangers of setting a precedent when you’re a parent. And yet here we are, every walk is now a scavenger hunt.

Day 3007

 It turns out Banana has a nearly bottomless appetite for cookies. I suspect Christmas is going to be a very frustrating time for her. she’s really not keen on the word ‘no’, and I don’t think she’ll take it well when we combine it with cookies.

Day 3006

 Discovered it is possible to bathe Banana without her yelling the entire time... apparently she can smile after you get her wet!

Day 3005

 New job: making necktube allsorts so the children have something else to be indecisive about.

Day 3004

 What do you do when your skeleton gets dirty? Move on to your next skeleton, apparently.

Day 3003

 This baby seems to be more adept at quiet shenanigans than the other two, and it seems that our internal alarms are insufficiently sensitive.

Day 3002

 Achievement unlocked: decorated the Christmas tree with three kids without breaking anything or starting a civil war.

Day 3001

 No matter how many times we try to correct him, our boy insists that they are called instruction workers.

Day 3000

 I couldn’t ask for a better partner. Love you!

Day 2999

 Setting dangerous precedents with the dog all over the place. He now thinks he’s entitled to a chair beside me during work hours and a spot beside my hip to sleep at night.

Day 2998

 And then we drove across the city, expedition-style, sat in the car and WE GOT A TREE.

Thereby saving Christmas!

For now.

Day 2997

Banana hugs people when they’re sad... or to convince them to do something nice for her. She is also working on the bit where she dives into bed and pretends like she’s been falling asleep the whole time.

Day 2996

 Turns out you don’t get pictures of a gap-toothed smile if your kid grows shark teeth...

Day 2995

 Our tiny little baby is six. How? 

But also she read her first chapter book today and how is she not eight or ten or whenever normal children start reading chapter books?!

Their growing up sure sneaks up on you.

Day 2994

 Put our five year old to bed for the last time...

Day 2993

When you realize your daughter thinks counterclockwise must somehow have something to do with (kitchen) counters because she hasn’t heard the word in another context...

Day 2992

Every now and again, Chinchilla bestows upon us near-perfect gifts, like an invitation to snuggle while he performs a dramatic reading of The Amazing Spider-Man.

Day 2991

 “Do you have a minute?”

And I laughed and laughed...

Day 2990

 This year has certainly provided some examples of the benefits of having multiple children. If they’re all quarantined, they can entertain each other. If only older ones are quarantined, you can just give them open access to craft supplies that they can’t use around the little one. Magic!

Day 2989

 Probably you’re going to be in trouble when the sixteen month old has already started trying to dole out hugs to convince her big sister to do things for her.

Day 2988

 Now that Banana has been successfully walking for several months, she’s decided it’s time to start regularly falling over and bashing her face on things. She hasn’t had the same conditioning her siblings got, so she does not at all approve of icing her wounds.

She’s also remarkably loud about voicing her disapproval.

Day 2987

 Per Chinchilla, none of our kids are toddlers anymore; all three of them are twins!

Day 2986

 Banana’s approach to animal noises is delightful. Apparently everything roars (including bunnies) except giraffes, which make raspberry sounds.

Day 2985

 Sometimes dinner conversations take an odd turn and suddenly you’re discussing where to send The Box of Bad Noises.

Day 2984

 When you make a bunch of fart jokes and then remember you should probably remind your kid that ‘bathroom words’ aren’t appropriate at school so she probably shouldn’t tell her friends about fart medicine.

Day 2983

 NO COUGHING ALLOWED!!

And while I’m being unreasonable, cool it with the ear wax too.

Day 2982

 One of the hardest parts of parenting is the problems you can’t fix for them.

Day 2981

 Today I learned that if I let my daughter outside for the first time in two weeks and there’s snow on the ground, she will immediately lose her damn mind.

Day 2980

 What a delight to have some of the kids at daycare while I’m working. I could hear my own thoughts for whole minutes at a time!

Day 2979

 Baby, you can chatter at me any time you like.

Day 2978

MAHP!

MAHP!

MAHP!

= Do my bidding at once, big person!

Day 2977

 In less than two weeks our sweet doggie might have a metal plate in his leg and then we will be forced to call him Borgie Wooster.

Day 2976

This is why you encourage kids to be helpful, even when they are very bad at actually being helpful: because some day you end up with a five year old who decides to re-fold all the shirts and undies and socks in her drawer to save you the trouble of doing it.

Day 2975

 Apparently all I have to do to convince my kids to be astronauts when they’re older is show them a rocket launch every now and again.

Day 2974

 Our troublesome baby continues to think she should do everything herself: climb on chairs, climb on beds, wean herself. Who needs parents anyway, when you’re so old and capable?

Day 2973

It’s such a relief to get evenings back again.

Day 2972

 If your Husband missed the pageantry of you putting your extremely silly frog socks, he might be very surprised when you exclaim out of nowhere “STOP GRABBING ME IN THE FROGS!”

Day 2971

 We did some Remembrance Day crafts, and our Chinchilla decided to make a bunch of red worms and a “poppy tree” with bare branches. He doesn’t get at all what the day is about but I feel like he nailed it.

Day 2970

 It’s a special kind of magic when they all play nicely together.

Day 2969

 Silver linings; if Lizard hadn’t developed a cough so that the kids all had to stay home on one of the worst possible days:

-we would have missed Banana learning to take all of her clothes off all of a sudden

-I would have missed Lizard exclaiming ‘Meat Balls of Fire!’

-I wouldn’t have seen Banana spontaneously hug and comfort her big sister when Lizard hurt herself.

-Chinchilla couldn’t have corrected me that skeletons aren’t PART of your body, they’re IN your body. Along with blood and white. You know, the white stuff. 

-Chinchilla wouldn’t have stopped eating “snack” because his body told him he shouldn’t eat any more... only to return shortly after to eat the rest of the same food for “lunch”.

Three year old pedants are no joke. But I would strongly encourage you to find it silently hilarious if you happen to have one. 

Day 2968

 The snuggliness of my hot water bottle has increased dramatically in the last few days. His running and jumping hasn’t cooled down much, so I suspect we have some interesting times ahead...

Day 2967

 You get a democracy! And you get a democracy! And we get a democracy! And also flu shots. 

Day 2966

 I don’t have enough arms to hold all my babies who need holding...

Day 2965

 Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.

Day 2964

 How very 2020.

Day 2963

 Every once in a while I am glad that my capacity for patience has been stretched out waiting and waiting while my kids to “do it myself”. 

Day 2962

 Can you still do a countdown if you don’t know when you’re counting down to?

Day 2961

 Sometimes you just can’t help provoking/sharing a giggle fit at bedtime...

Day 2960

 Alternate Halloween is actually pretty great. I like not having to feed kids, hand out candy, and take kids trick or treating all at the same time...

Day 2959

 That feeling when your boss tells you he plans to have to fight to keep you...

Day 2958

I could worry about the pandemic, or I could learn about Crabs In Name Only.

Day 2957

 A thing that is nice about working in the same office building as Husband: I can tell him all about the funny jokes I told other people right after it happens! I’m sure he’s thankful for the frequent and forceful reminders of how funny I am.

Day 2956

 An example of what seems to be the prevailing mood amongst our kinder:

I don’t want to wear mitts!

But I need to wear mitts!

You put my mitts on wrong!

I want my mitts on the wrong way they were before!

How dare you not fix my mitts! I will fling them off!

My hands are cold! I need my mitts!

Day 2955

 Can we go back to you being a problem solver when you grow up? I like that better than skeleton.

Day 2954

 When your almost reasonable decisions start to snowball and you end up with six litres of borscht, a batch of muffins, and homemade cherry pie filling to go in tomorrow’s no-reason cake.

Day 2953

 Time to officially admit that our biggest little doesn’t need naps anymore. 

But also, making her hang out quietly in her room has improved her reading and her ability to tell time, sooooo...

Day 2952

 Sometimes it feels like the theatre of the absurd has just kept expanding and now all the world’s its stage.

Maybe it always was, and we just managed to cage and concentrate it for a little while.

Day 2951

 Time for the Little Big Dance Party so we can watch our littlest big lose her tiny mind.

Day 2950

 Day 1: Everyone make sure you have your shovels ready! The snow is coming!

Day 2: Now where did I put the shovel at the end of winter...?

I really do need to learn to take my own damn advice. 

Day 2949

 It was awfully nice to have my first ever flower delivery on the day that it started to snow. I have spring in my house! 

Day 2948

 Sock Puppet Day is one of the best things I have ever come up with. It is stupid and silly and I love it.

Day 2947

 I’m sure it won’t take long before I start to regret setting up the tent for the kiddos. 

I just have to try to remember Banana’s beaming smile as she first discovered it, and peeping in to see all three kids snuggling together.

Probably worth it for the fights to come.

Day 2946

 I don’t think Banana has ever managed to grab one of our mugs when it’s empty. 

But she has managed to grab a full latte and fling it all over the bed and carpet twice. 

Couldn’t you practice with half full? Make less mess and let me have some caffeine in me before I try to get coffee out of mattress...

Day 2945

 First day with all the kids back at school/daycare in almost a month... obviously time to start cleaning the house.

Day 2944

 You know your boy is tired when even his little sister bupping him with bears doesn’t wake him up.

Day 2943

 How much snot could one child possibly contain?

Day 2942

 You’d think we’d know better than to start a philosophical discussion at 11:30. 

Day 2941

 I am thankful for a healthy body, even if I make stupid healthy choices for it.

Day 2940

 Yesterday Lizard made her own breakfast downstairs by herself for the first time. This morning her brother asked her to make his breakfast. Cereal down. Next up: the toaster!

For our next trick, we’ll teach her to pack school lunches...

Day 2939

 Yes Lizard, I can still run faster than you.

Day 2938

 Our boy has set up his office. He has a computer, a mouse, notes to remind him of things, and a hat. For safety. It also has headphones and a chinstrap. 

You probably wouldn’t be able to get him to admit it, but you could also turn it upside down to hold very small groceries.

Day 2937

 And now for something completely shark teeth...

Day 2936

 It’s wise to take your children’s stories with a grain (or pinch, or fistful) of salt, but it’s pretty easy to imagine Lizard leading a flock of grumpy children through several rounds of meditative breathing...

Day 2935

 Oh my poor little one, I wish I could have your cough for you.

Day 2934

 We’ve been working from home for months and the dog’s abandonment issues are getting worse. 

Nobody tell him they’re working on a vaccine...

Day 2933

 Farts will never be funnier than when you have a little boy in the house, so you might as well revel in the hilarity with him.

Day 2932

 Vegetable garden indoctrination begins. Someday I shall have helpful helpers for harvest. 

Day 2931

 It took fourteen months, but at least now we’ve figured out we’re raising a werejerk.

We already knew the dog was an idiot.

Day 2930

 The baby has discovered blowing kisses and tidying up. The dog has discovered eating burrs and making his throat hurt.

Day 2929

 Down to one kid home sick, but she’s malingering as hard as she can. Just to prove she still sick, she conked out before lunch during a walk in the wind and rain. Fine! We get it! We’ll keep you home and snuggle you more!

Day 2928

 My boy seems to have internalized a few rules of colour theory:

1. You can mix colours together to make other colours (usually a colour is made by mixing whatever colours he happens to spot, sometimes with repetitions.

2. Colour names are best preceded by an animal name (see peacock blue and his seagull grey and cat yellow)

3. Many, many colours are at least kinda red. Pink and orange, obviously, but also brown and silver. You might as well just call them all red.

4. Red is best.

Day 2927

 Chaos with pockets of peace. 

Yes, let’s put your table beside my desk so we can work together... while you colour everything red.

Day 2926

 For some reason, I’m suddenly remembering that we had to move the recycling bin into the kitchen for a while.... 

Darn toddlers...

Day 2926

 Our dog is an absurd little boy. I spent ages keeping him away from the all the fun so I could give him a haircut and a bath. It made him desperately sad. And then once I had finished he followed me around and snuggled aggressively. 

Dude, even our children have figured out trying to get away from the parent who was most recently stern at them.

Day 2925

 Banana, our clever little not-a-champ, is learning the theory behind taking clothes on and off and has developed the fun game Please Put On This Sock.

And when you tell her to back her truck up, sticks her bum out and takes big steps backwards.

Day 2924

 The boy had to go get a swab shoved up his nose. He says it was pretty crazy watching his Dad get swabbed. And that the doctors did a good job, and one of them had a computer!

It sounds mostly like they went for an adventure (he even asked for us to pack him some) healthy food.

But then of course he had night terrors during nap and one the slowest, grumpiest wake-ups ever, so maybe not entirely the walk in the park he suggested.

Day 2923

 And now we rest...

Oh wait... work, course, sick kids...

Now we return to slightly more reasonable life-life balance. 

After wine.

Day 2922

 In these pandemic times, I expect I will get to say the following to my children several times: “you’re home sick, not on vacation.”

Day 2921

 Deep breath. And keep swimming. 

Day 2920

 I am frankly offended when my activity tracker won’t recognize my hard work.

Day 2919

 Kids are exceptionally good at picking up colds at the worst times. 

Also at mispronouncing clapping. 

One of those things is much funnier than the other.

Day 2918

 Dear Children,

Please hold your colds until the end (of next week).

Love, your mother

Day 2917

And then suddenly you realize you’re a person who goes to vendor conferences now....

Day 2916

It seems our Goat might have the biggest feelings after all. Or at least the biggest flair for the dramatic.

Day 2915

 Best homework ever: “Get someone to read to you.”

Day 2914

 Went for a run and then started coursework. Have probably gone nuts and/or been replaced by a pod person.

<end transmission>

Day 2913

Turns out you can get a lot done on days that you just keep swimming.

Day 2912

 Lizard is super interested in earthworms and afraid of daddy long legs. She gets excited when I dig up worms and comes over to admire them. This afternoon she was contentedly thinking that the patch I was digging up in the front yard must be a happy and peaceful home for them.

But again... scared of daddy long legs.

Day 2911

 Sometimes I wear my hat; sometimes the teapot wears it.

Day 2910

 Our Lizard is thriving in pandemic-era school: she’s got her own table and she isn’t “surrounded by children”.

Day 2909

 Bup? Bup bup bup! BUP!

Day 2908

 First day of school in a new world. Lizard is thrilled to have a table all to herself. 

Day 2907

The zucchini is not a trick. At this time of year, the zucchini is always there and always delicious.

Day 2906

 The abrupt transition to fall seemed to be coming early, so we got to do an abrupt transition to harvesting tomatoes.

And Banana got to try to eat sand. An adventure for everybody!

Day 2905

 I’m not sure which kid is winning the grumpy awards, but I do know they’re all eligible for participation ribbons.

Day 2904

 Apparently daycare workers think our kids might be somewhat determined. 

Inconceivable!

Day 2903

 How many tomatoes do you have to eat before you turn into a tomato?

Time to experiment...

Day 2902

 Sad baby + magical Cheerios + music = happy baby!

Day 2901

  I remember putting one kid to bed by myself feeling hard. Now doing three at once is fine. 

Now I just have to figure out how to have a conversation with my daughter about gently bending the rules so that she feels okay making fart jokes with kids at daycare.

Day 2900

 It’s probably good that the little one can’t talk yet because the bigs are starting to talk loudly about getting another dog.

Day 2899

Continuing to be astonished at the glimpse into living in a colour blind world...

Day 2898

 Does it even count as summer if we haven’t watched a crash in the peloton and cheerfully listened to nonsensical commentary?

Day 2897

 I have a talent for attracting weird stuff doing training. My career path seems to be all deep end.

Day 2896

 Thank goodness for sisters who are more than willing to prod you out of your inertia.

Day 2895

 The daycare agrees: our little goat is determinedly happy + content.

Day 2894

 Someone urgently needs to know whether you have navy blue curtains. Interior decorator or toddler at bedtime?

Day 2893

 Our Banana: big head, little everything else.

Day 2892

 Living the dream: making cheese bread and chili while one kid cleans the living room and the other nap.

Day 2891

 It’s possible we spend too much time talking about real estate. We went for a walk and the kids started speculating about how many bedrooms and how many living rooms each house had.

Day 2890

 When Chinchilla is ready for bed he wants to play with your hair while you play with his hair. When Banana is ready for bed she bites your face and rubs her nose.

Day 2889

 Banana has trained her big dancing monkeys very well.

Day 2888

 Push on, and on, and someday the apps won’t fail you.

Day 2887

 Every once in a while it feels like we are parenting an Amateur Dramatic Society.... and then I realize with horror that we still have the teenage years for them to really ramp up the melodrama.

Day 2886

 When even Cheerios fail to cheer our Banana, we still have the dance.

Day 2885

 Our son has a talent for dumbfounding questions. Today: do houses live outside?

Day 2884

 How quickly a day can go totally sideways...

Day 2883

 Parenting: and other duties as required.

Day 2882

I remarkably accident-prone with running apps and it is not at all my favourite.

Day 2881

 When my boy is pretending to be Spider-Man and fights crime, he does after the worst of the worst: people who damage things and run in the road! Thank goodness for our Spider-Man, vanquishing such mighty foes...

Day 2880

 When you can’t spend all day gazing fondly at your baby, it helps to know that the people taking care of her appreciate her too.

Day 2879

 Daycare is magic.

Day 2878

 Setting up a new clock and getting it aligned (as per the instructions) to face away from Colorado so it can observe it’s daily devotions. 

Day 2877

 It delights me that Lizard foresees a day that she will be old enough to clean the whole house (“even mop all by myself!”), but won’t be old enough to do any cleaning whatsoever in the kitchen. 

And will be able to make all the lunches... except soup, obviously.

Day 2876

 According to my son, when you’re a teenager you can go out and catch wolves. 

Sure brings back memories of the times I definitely did that...

Day 2875

 Some days it feels like the best thing about a given day is that you only have to live it once. 

It can be hard to take the advice you give to your kids... but oh man is it ever worth it when you manage to turn your day around and you can concentrate on baby smiles and silly kid shenanigans.

Day 2874

How do you fall into a potty?!

Day 2873

I suspect Lizard will thoroughly enjoy her reign of terror once she’s old enough to babysit her siblings.

Day 2872

I wouldn’t recommend getting a cold during the summer. Or while parenting. Or during a pandemic. 

Day 2871

Naps have perhaps slightly less recuperative power when they are interrupted twenty times or so so that the napper can hear what food a tiny ripped piece of paper is supposed to represent.

Day 2870

I hope today marks the one and only time I have to confiscate a couch from my kids.

Day 2869

One of the most miserable regular bits of parenthood is being sick when your kids are sick.

Also being sick when your kids are healthy.

Clearly, parents should just not be allowed to get sick.

Who do I call about that?

Day 2868

Chinchilla’s new strategy to delay going to sleep: save the poops for bedtime. 

His strategy for getting more chocolate: poop a little bit at once, nine thousand times throughout the day.

Day 2867

You know you’re in for a fun time when everyone is a little sick and the kids are so exhausted they won’t go to sleep.

Day 2866

Sometimes your kids ask you questions about what words mean or how the world works and you end up going down the rabbit hole a little bit.

And then sometimes it’s a weirdly specific rabbit hole and you end up learning what paperwork is required to import a camel from Minnesota for immediate slaughter.

Day 2865

2020 is pushing the boundaries of how sideways a Monday can go.

Day 2864

Never assume your potty training kid couldn’t possibly have any more poop left in them.

Day 2863

The more birthday cake, the merrier

Day 2862

They should teach meditation in prenatal classes.

And then have another round of classes when your kid is 2/3 and you get a refresher. Also suggestions for potty training.

Maybe another set of classes for when your five year old asks for explanations of periods, religion, and global warming.

Day 2861

Banana is one. We have no more babies, just a flock of silly, rambunctious, delightfully weird kids.

Day 2860

It’s official: pass the baby is now a game.

Although in eight minutes it will be pass the toddler...

Day 2859

Even when you have crested the peak of three, there are still many rises on the way down.

Day 2858

And daycare begins for sweet Banana. I want to share her with the world so everyone can appreciate her and also keep her to myself. The usual agonies.

Day 2857

Further anatomy lessons seem to be required.

Day 2856

We’ve discovered Banana loves the eighties and I suspect we’re about to have a lot more dance parties.

Day 2855

If the bickering continues, everything will be forbidden.

Day 2854

It’s hard to leave work at work when you work from home.

Day 2853

Note to self: if you’re going to hide on the top bunk, make sure you have enough time to get up there without anyone seeing you.

Day 2852

The Day the Inbox Hit Zero

Day 2851

And so ends the final maternity leave.

And a beginning: Banana decided it was time to walk.

Day 2850

Parenting teaches ruthless efficiency.

It’s so funny to think now that we used to think we were busy. And what counted as getting a lot accomplished.

Day 2849

Hat!

Day 2848

Babies have a terrible habit of growing up too fast. Especially if they’re your last one. Or your first one. Or your middle one.

Day 2847

“Who needs plans when you can just wing it all the time?” -2020

Day 2846

2020: The Year of the Foiled Plans.

Day 2845

One of the great joys of parenthood: getting all the ruddy baby stuff out of your house.

Day 2844

Reveling in secondhand kitten and less oppressive heat.

Day 2843

The high stakes ‘afraid to poop’ potty training is not my favourite. Giving someone pep talks for two days is tiring. Especially when you’re squeezing the pep talks in between getting screamed at...

Day 2842

Maybe I should start tracking the books I read to the kids and increase my books read goal for the year to 450.

Not counting board books, obviously...

Day 2841

Chinchilla wants to know how many years until he dies. Lizard wants to know how many years until she’s a teenager. 

<internal screaming>

Day 2840

That feeling when your house is slowly trying to cook you...

Day 2839

What’s more Canadian than tart squares?

Day 2838

Put the baby in a quiet house and play some music for her and she will dance and dance and  dance.

Day 2837

The longer the lockdown, the more you realize daycare isn’t really that expensive after all. Maybe they should get more money? Just take my money. Take the government money. Have all the money.

Day 2836

It’s aggravating that he won’t poop in the toilet, but you do have to admire the determination that let him overcome the prunes.

Day 2835

Potty training is not for the faint of heart. 

Day 2834

If your kid wipes their hand on you, it’s probably safe to assume you should just burn everything you’re wearing.

Day 2833

Countdown to having two kids out of diapers and pee all over the house...

Day 2832

Course over, life to begin again.

Day 2831

Anyone who has called me random or weird in the last decade or so really needs to spend more time hanging out with kids. It’s a whole different bar down there.

Day 2830

Just keep swimming...

Day 2829

Lizard volunteered to take on all of the cleaning in the house; then suggested perhaps the adults should still wash the kitchen knives. 

Day 2828

That feeling when your parents spend the evening of solstice watching the sunrise at Stonehenge (online) and you spend it practicing net present value capital budgeting and trying to work the knots out of your back...

Day 2827

Our sneaky little baby keeps grabbing stuff from our bed. Tonight she finally succeeded in getting an entire blanket, as well as an extra sleep sack. 

Babies are remarkably and alarmingly adept at spotting things they’re not supposed to have and making a beeline for them.

Day 2826

If more than 60% of your family wore their own pants today, you were ahead of us. 

Still...it’s a pass!

Day 2825

Three days back at daycare and the kids are putting themselves to bed early.

Except Banana, of course. She’s going to sing to herself until proper bedtime on PRINCIPLE.

Day 2824

Good news! Chinchilla says I’m in my mind, not out of it. So that’s a huge relief.

Day 2823

Young Banana was compensating for the lack of noise from her siblings to chatter and chatter and chatter.

Third kids have to take advantage of any opportunities to talk starting pretty early, apparently.

Day 2822

The first day of daycare always makes for a jumbled bag of feelings. This is not any less the case during a pandemic.

Day 2821

I’m not used to having three conversations at once in the car anymore. I wonder whether we can convince Lizard to wait her turn by the time Banana starts talking...

Note: our tiny slip of a Lizard has suggested we could call her Elephant.

Day 2820

Getting Chinchilla to “read stories” to you is one of the greatest things. The billy goats gruff became “the gruffalos fight”. He knows a whole bunch of random expressions and he mashed them together based on the pictures and it is truly a delight.

Day 2819

Give a girl her own space and she suddenly wants to nap every day. 

Make a boy three and everything even tenuously related with the concept of napping can interfere with his ability to fall asleep.

Day 2818

Bought and planted flowers on purpose.

Note to self: invent self-administered rapid response test to determine pod person status.

Day 2817

Today we learned that if you say ‘No!’ very loudly in the baby’s vicinity she will think you’re talking to her and become deeply, pathetically sad.

Day 2816

After Flood comes Green, after Green comes Elm Seeds, after Elm Seeds comes Caterpillars... and then you’re straight into the warm wet wool blanket of summer.

Day 2815

That feeling when you realize your five and a half year old daughter is wearing a shirt made for a one and a half year old...

Day 2814

Tonight’s dinner brought to you by a pie in New Zealand getting flagged by Facebook as being too sexy.

Because the world is small and just fucking weird when you think about it.

Day 2813

When life gives you a pandemic, you get your project done early cause who the hell knows what’s coming next week.

Day 2812

When you’re talking about riots and your five year old asks if you mean the bread riots, and you think ‘who the heck have you been talking to’, and start figuring out how to explain protests and racism and police brutality... and then realize she thinks you said ‘rise’.

Too late, kid. I guess we’re talking race relations today.

Day 2811

This baby is so bonkers. She sleep-trained herself, often sleeps on her side, and sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night, sits up for a while (sometimes looking around, sometimes muttering sadly), and then she face plants and goes back to sleep.

Day 2810

I wonder how many people in the world keep thinking about an improbability engine, and how well that would work as an indicator that they would be suitable best friends for me...

Day 2809

Married with kids = whispering in the hallway after midnight about assaulting peaceful protesters.

Day 2808

It turns out the city does still exist outside of our neighbourhood.

And even with a pack of new experiences all at once, our chill little Banana stays pretty darn chill.

Day 2807

The world seems to be exploding a little, at least if you focus a lot (too much) on the news from our southern neighbour. But today I got to watch a Dragon launch, I got the garden closer to ready for planting, and I got to see the ISS pass overhead.

It was a good day.

Day 2806

You know you’re in for a time when the three year old doesn’t nap...

Day 2805

Another job briefly adopted: school photographer.

Now I understand why they take three shots of each kid and you get what you get. Apparently after three pictures standing nicely they get deathly bored.

Day 2804

Banana has discovered jokes. Most of them are hatting or hitting related.

Day 2803

We can’t see the owls living in the tree out front this year, but we can still see the next best thing: people stopping and pointing and staring up at the trees.

Day 2802

I wonder if we have started on a path that will ultimately lead to a flash card intervention...

Day 2801

Gave the dog a haircut and the bigs increased the frequency and intensity of their requests for haircuts.

Found a new activity to keep the kids busy: making Flashcards. I don’t understand what many of their cards are for, but it did entertain them. Hopefully I won’t be expected to remember that the blue swirl is a dump truck.

Day 2800

Chinchilla insists he is Spider-Man. He wants to make a Spider-Man costume and web shooters. He insists we call him Spider-Man at all times. He scripts lines for us. I’m trying to use this in our favour and told him Spider-Man always pees and poops in the toilet. We’ll see how that goes.

He also asked me today when I died. Then ‘I haven’t died yet, too.’

Which was of course shortly after he told me he died on the day I was born.

Day 2799

Would it be wrong to request quarantine-style birthdays from now on? I like their low key style.

Plus, Lizard said this was the best at home birthday party we’ve ever had.

Day 2798

The bigs are grappling with the moral implications of wrestling. Hitting is bad, so does that make wrestlers bad guys?

Day 2797

I love reading a book and randomly discovering something new. Or stumbling across a reference to something and falling down a rabbit hole in the web.

Now I know about cyanotypes and Scottish lighthouses. I’ll never need that information, but I can’t help but feel that it enriches my life.

Day 2796

One of those demoralizing death by a thousand cuts were nothing very terrible happens but enough small stupid things happen that you just feel a little defeated.

Reminding myself of gratitude: having the chance to walk nearly everyday and watch spring happening tree by tree; an astonishing and tremendous niece; a sweet smiling baby covered with spaghetti; snuggling and reading to Lizard and watching her read to the baby; a boy who says the darnedest things; an able body that can carry my children when they’re hurt; and a loving husband who can get me to giggle my way out of grumps.

Day 2795

Bertram doesn’t know what to make of all these walks. But getting him to run a bit does allow him to show off his excellent puddle impersonation.

I think he might have the hardest time of all of us going back to “normal”.

Day 2794

More blows struck against our foes, the garden rabbits. From the bloody trail on our sidewalk, it appears one of them may have met a neighbourhood predator, and this afternoon we chopped and bagged a good chunk of the tree branches they spent the winter nibbling on and pooping under.

Take that, furry poop-fiends!

Day 2793

Chinchilla has suddenly become obsessed with making a Spider-Man costume with web.

Lizard wants me to sew a dressing gown for her brother’s doll.

Looks like I might need to start refreshing my sewing skills sooner than anticipated...

Day 2792

We lost our sweet Oz ten years ago today. He’s been gone for far longer than he was with us. 

I miss him.

Day 2791

I made up a silly song and it is apparently like crack to silly children. But at least they have internalized the plural for platypus.

Day 2790

The eternal dilemma of parents: Lizard keeps making really cool things with paper that she cuts up and tapes together, but she also makes confetti that ends up all over the floor and that she and her brother fight over. Is the frustration worth it? Probably. Does that make it more aggravating? Likely.

Day 2789

That feeling when your five year old has you running intervals with her...

Day 2788

You know you’re in for a good time when you’re low on sleep, the baby is teething, the eldest is overtired and the midlest is extra three.

Day 2787

Kids projecting their feelings onto other people is occasionally hilarious. Like when they are totally convinced that their great grandmother wants me to read a kids book to her via video chat.

Day 2786

Banana has introduced rage face into her clowning repertoire and I caught it on video and it has already made the world a better place.

Day 2785

Banana seems to have figured out that she can make people laugh and she’s going all in on goofball.

She’s also becoming pretty stubbornly anti baby food, so I guess it’s time to use our mincing skills.

Day 2784

Building castles and enjoying Lizard’s boundless enthusiasm for walks.

We probably need to start taking hikes with this girl, once trails are available again.

Day 2783

Parenting can be excellent for mindfulness. Sometimes a little snuggle can be the whole world.

Day 2782

Chinchilla routinely says absolutely bonkers things that blow my mind. His vocabulary is ridiculous so he can actually articulate some of what is going on in his crazy three year old brain. And it’s a lot to wrap an adult brain around.

And then I think... what if the trend continues? What if Banana is even better at talking?

Day 2781

Our big children have very abruptly started sleeping in (or at least waking up and chatting so quietly that it doesn’t disturb us) and it’s making me confused and disoriented. I both do and do not want to encourage this habit.

Day 2780

Banana has officially started babbling, to the great delight of the entire family. Unfortunately, she is following the lead of the rest of the family for appropriate volume for speech.

Day 2779

Apparently it is possible for Lizard to voluntarily stop watching a movie. Which probably means she has more sense than her mother.

Day 2778

No matter the weather, if we go for a walk Lizard will comment on it being a beautiful day for a walk.

Day 2777

The good news is, touching the hot element has not turned Chinchilla off the colour red. He says red is his first favourite, beige is his last favourite, and black fills up the middle.

Meanwhile Lizard: keep her walking and you keep her happy. Unless you suggest that she can’t spend all her time outside.

Day 2776

The siren song of the red stove element proved too much for our foolhardy Chinchilla. Hopefully everyone internalizes the lesson on this one.

Day 2775

Lizard seems to be at her happiest when we go out for rambles. I really hope that continues, and that her siblings feel the same so we can do random family rambles all over the darn place - preferably without strollers or carriers.

Day 2774

Is your baby even still a baby if you give her spaghetti for the first time and it doesn’t end up in her hair?

Day 2773

The longer these kids stay home, the weirder their vocabularies get and the more convoluted their games get. The costumes are already bonkers. It’s hard to imagine where they’ll go next.

Day 2772

Chinchilla has figured out his big sister can read, so he’s started trying to get her to read books to him after we put them to bed and once he wakes up in the morning.

Another source for his story fix...

Day 2771

Apparently yes, it is possible my kids are getting weirder every day. It’s a total mystery what the influence could be...

Day 2770

Twice today I was treated to a dramatic recitation of Chinchilla’s favourite book. By some miracle, I managed to get it on video (complete with his big sister yelling lines from the book while sitting on the toilet off-camera). I will treasure it forever.

Day 2769

It’s pretty fun watching my precocious children converse with unsuspecting adults.

Day 2768

When your baby starts to give you real hugs and very moist kisses...

Day 2767

There have been exactly two benefits of having a zillion rabbits in our yard this year:

1. The kids know owls eat rabbits, and are enthusiastic about the owls dealing with all the “gross bunnies”.

2. We got to see bunnies fighting, which was HILARIOUS. It would not be out of place for them to start snapping their fingers, “When you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet all the way...”

Day 2766

An illustration of our feelings about books on this family: long after bedtime, I was hearing pages turning in the kids’ room. I went in and found Chinchilla holding a book on his chest, not looking at it, just slowly turning pages.

His sister sleeps with her bed books pressed against her side so that she “knows where they are”.

Security books. We have security books.

Day 2765

Banana recently adopted a silly squinty smile that is extremely charming. Today she started Deploying the squint without the smile to try to convince us to do her bidding. I’m not sure whether she thinks that it’ll make us happy so we’ll do what she wants or if she’s trying to control us with her mind.

Either way, still adorable.

Day 2764

Banana has set herself some new challenges: pull herself to stand on anything remotely feasible; be tired all the time; and get mad at all puréed foods.

But all in a very good-natured way.

Day 2763

That feeling when you set up a scavenger hunt for your kid and she’s disappointed because she thought it was going to be math problems...

Yep, that’s my kid.

Day 2762

One of my favourite things in the world is listening to Chinchilla make up stories. He’s so good at talking and his understanding of the world is so fundamentally flawed that it is profoundly entertaining.

This evening he told me a fire truck came to our house and our house was on fire and he had to run outside! And he burnt the fire all up! And he put it in the fire truck!

Day 2761

Maybe we should stop calling it the baby jail given how much all the children want to play in it.

Henceforth it shall be the baby zoo, as we all gather round to watch the cute baby animal, and undersupervised children try to sneak into the enclosure.

Day 2760

It’s official: Banana has realized she can stand up on her own. Hopefully she’s not quite as adept at bonking her head into everything as her big siblings (still are).

Day 2759

Is it even a real pandemic lockdown if you don’t cut your hair?

Day 2758

Lizard thinks that the Easter bunny might not be real (she thinks it’s probably Santa who brings the chocolate), but she still tidied the living room very enthusiastically because she didn’t want him to trip and fall and get hurt.

Chinchilla helped tidy... and also jumped up and down so the Easter bunny would come.

Day 2757

Lizard is probably grown up now; she’s drunk real tea and played ticket to ride with her parents and what else is there, really?

Day 2756

Our sweet silly boy has decided he needs to wear sock to bed... on his hands and feet. Sometimes doubling up on the foot socks. And then asks if he can wear short-sleeved shirts.

Tonight he found himself in terrible difficulty because one of his hand socks had a hole in it, and he was at a complete loss for what he should do.

Definitely an emergency requiring a parent.

Day 2755

Santa: what an absolute unit.

Day 2754

Chinchilla demonstrated how Worms wobble, announced “this calls for drastic measures!” while washing his hands, and snuggled into me while holding my ponytail after I rescued him from nap.

Day 2753

The bigs were doing some pretend baking while the actual muffins were in the oven. It involved elaborate costumes, which Lizard insisted were required in the recipe “and you have to follow the recipe if you want baking!”

Meanwhile the flooding has started on a new front. The literal front of the house.

Day 2752

Reminders to be thankful:
We have income
We have health
We have each other
Our house is not on fire.

Day 2751

My daughter is old enough to read books AND play Ticket to Ride. Let the indoctrination begin!

Day 2750

I made a person who can read.

Day 2749

Someone needs to have a chat with this baby and tell her that a global pandemic is not the right time to start sleeping through the night.

And tell our boy that a global pandemic is not the time to start fighting about naps and potty training and clothes and sharing toys.

For the record, it’s a goddamn global pandemic. Everyone just be nice to everyone else!

Day 2748

April 1st in the midst of a global pandemic and we’re waiting for the snows to come.

Apparently the Powers That Be want us to stay *more* home.

Day 2747

Decades later, and I suddenly have a whole new appreciation for Grandad’s gift of Winnie-the-Pooh. I wish I could tell him.

Day 2746

I’ve realized I can help a grumpy Lizard by asking her to help me with a cleaning task and oh boy are we ever going to have some silly rampages together...

Day 2745

Trying to explain to Lizard that we’re not trying to persecute her when we tell her not to persecute her brother.

And ordered a plague journal. Like you do.

Day 2744

Turns out if you shovel like hell, you can stop the flooding.

But also you’re in your thirties, so your body is over now.

Day 2743

Getting bored of pandemic? Try flooding!

Day 2742

Generally you don’t expect the big ugly questions of moral philosophy to come up in your everyday life.

Day 2741

Chinchilla got a toy vacuum for his birthday and I’ve never seen a kid vacuum so thoroughly or so enthusiastically. Once he gets over his fear of the real vacuum I’ll be set for life!

Day 2740

All other school activities are cancelled. We are only doing science, and we are only making oobleck.

Day 2739

I would have been okay with having one baby who doesn’t grow teeth late, and in bunches.

Day 2738

Banana seems to have noticed that she’s getting less of her mother’s undivided attention, and she is making it known that she doesn’t appreciate it, especially in her time of teething.

Day 2737

Our definitely very big Chinchilla is three! He was so excited about it that he kept reminding us to say happy birthday to him throughout the day. He said his favourite part of the day was the cake (before he had eaten it, and then didn’t finish it). He named his new nesting doll killer whale Ned, and kept happily announcing when Ned’s head had come off.

Also, finally convinced the kids to start saying ‘my compliments to the chef!’

Shoutout to Lizard who swept the living room, tidied the baby jail, and vacuumed the stairs even though she was too grumpy to read books.

Day 2736

Parenting continues to involve saying and doing things I never would have expected. Like putting socks on my son’s hands before bed, and asking him “did you lick the dust bunny?”

Day 2735

There is something wonderful about randomly shovelling snow around your yard to have an adventure with your housebound children.

Day 2734

It’s weird realizing that self-isolation is not much different than how I normally do mat leave.

Day 2733

I was not expecting that physical activities would be the point of contention for impromptu homeschool. 

Note to self: provide different rules for Chinchilla at the outset so that rule-bound Lizard doesn’t lose her shit.

Day 2732

Can I borrow someone’s copy of Amateur Curriculum Planning 101 for Dummy Beginners?

Day 2731

Massive uncertainty in the face of a pandemic is hard for risk-averse planners.

Day 2730

The most exciting present for Chinchilla is cake. To which he suggested we could add more eggs (after baking) to make it more delicious.

Most mispronounced present: the abacus, now known forever as a biscuit.

Day 2729

It’s hard to get a handle on the vibe. It’s like getting ready for a blizzard that you know is going to result in a snow day so you get bonus time off work... only it’s the whole world and it’s for weeks and the market is tanking... so maybe add a few dashes of zombie apocalypse?

Or zombie apocalypse where there’s a low transmission rate and a vaccine being developed and probably the government will mostly manage to keep shit together in the meantime.

Day 2728

It is not a good time to be home with time on my hands and news push alerts on my phone.

Day 2727

Banana is officially mobile! And much like a mobile, she mostly goes in circles...

Day 2726

Chinchilla learned a life lesson the hard way today: don’t find out if your fingers fit in something by jamming your fingers in it for funsies.

Our Parmesan now comes with extra toddler cooties.

Day 2725

Between daylight savings and two days of wrong naps, our sweet happy baby reached the end of her patience and started sobbing when I broke eye contact at bedtime.

But she also got to sit at the table at a restaurant for the first time, and discovered splashing in the bath. 

Day 2724

Our other season, which is intermittent: Ice.

Day 2723

And now comes the annual sacrifice of one hour’s sleep to the god of time; we’ll discover tomorrow how heavy the price is.

Day 2722

Does Iceland having the best Eurovision entry mean that it’s officially End Times?

Day 2721

How to give the dog fits: have people nap in different parts of the house simultaneously. Don’t let him nap with the person who was gone for two days.

How to make Banana happy: have her daddy appear. Also Cheerios.

Day 2720

Banana is mostly a very good baby, but she does have an uncanny knack for knowing when I most need to sleep... so she can wake me up.

Day 2719

Lizard has officially started her texting life. Now I just have to convince her to add spaces between words...

Day 2718

Every once in a while your kid says “I can do it by myself!” and it turns out that they really can and suddenly you realize they’re two inches taller than they were what feels like five minutes ago...

Day 2717

Birthday playdates are the best birthday parties.

Hawaiian pizza is still delicious even when the pizzeria mysteriously decides to hold the ham.

Day 2716

Motherhood involves a lot more fielding demands for hugs while sitting on the toilet than I expected.

Day 2715

When your baby discovers giving kisses and you’re the happiest soggy mess ever...

Day 2714

When your kid is staring into the middle distance doing something weird because it feels interesting... and that something is repeatedly licking Beige Bear’s head...

Day 2713

If you need a storyteller with tremendous enthusiasm, get yourself a Chinchilla. He has enough hand gestures for three.

Day 2712

You make a baby jail and suddenly it’s the most exciting place for the big kids to hang out.

We might be sending the wrong message about incarceration.

Day 2711

Chinchilla has decided that when he grows up, he wants to be an adult.

Also a doctor.

Also Santa.

Day 2710

A five year old striving to be helpful is a wonderful thing.

Day 2709

Chinchilla teaches his little sister the facts of life: alligators are not your favourite buddies; mommy and daddy are.

Day 2708

If you’re bored, I recommend asking Lizard about history and Chinchilla about... almost anything. But especially bad guys, monsters, and his doctor’s office.

Day 2707

I forget until I show her off that our happiest, most chill baby is also our most serious baby.

Day 2706

In hindsight, it was probably a mistake to tell Chinchilla that nipples on boys are for decoration.

Hopefully he doesn’t tell anyone else we decorated his nipples for Christmas.

Day 2705

Heaven is freshly baked bread.

Day 2704

More than five years in, and I still don’t know how to handle those periodic and sudden realizations that your little people are getting big.

Day 2703

Chinchilla has now decided that he’d like to grow up to be Santa.

Day 2702

It’s funny decades later realizing that your mom must have dreaded those family shopping trips as much as you did.

Day 2701

Valentine’s Day cures children of their grumpiness and adults of their peace. Unless you solemnly pledge to ignore it, in which case it can be quite delightful.

Love you, Husband!

Day 2700

First attempt at bread making: extremely frustrating during the actual baking; extremely satisfying during the eating.

Day 2699

One of the cardinal rules of parenting: never mention aloud that your baby has finally started doing ____.

Babies sense weakness and parents getting their hopes up.

One of their favourite activities (after pooping everywhere) is quashing hopes.

Day 2698

Tiny humans using big words never ceases to amuse me.

Day 2697

One of my favourite things about introducing a baby to solid foods is all of the ridiculously aggrieved faces they make when you give them something new... and then they decide they love it.

Day 2696

Do tomboys even carry girly girl genes?

Day 2695

It’s beginning to feel like somebody decided that it is mandatory for at least one family member to be sick at all times.

That is fake news.

Don’t these children know wellness is trendy?!

Day 2694

When you’re raising the tiniest, sweetest little toothless T-Rex with a big head and little arms...

Day 2693

My daughter has had her first proposal. This is the second boy she has contemplated marrying.

Either I blocked all memories of such things out, or my daughter is embarking on a very different girlhood than I experienced...

Day 2692

When you segregate your children and only have to get one of them ready for bed at once it’s so easy, it’s practically like a vacation. Plus, dedicated snuggle time.

Day 2691

When you’re relieved to merely have bronchitis...

Day 2690

Monsters and pneumonia are not allowed in my house.

Day 2689

Chinchilla is a sometimes plane; I can sometimes laugh without coughing.

One of us is probably having more fun than the other.

Day 2688

It’s very helpful having a kid who is obsessed with something that is fairly easy to draw, like pumpkins.

Also having a baby who is extremely cheerful, like Banana.

Day 2687

If you’re going to have a house full of sick kids while you’re also sick, make sure one of the children is a non-judgemental infant with a smile that heals your soul.

Day 2686

Have fortified two of the babies with strong doses of daddy; now to get enough sleep to deal with the enthusiasm of the bigs when they have their turn.

Day 2685

At what mucus by volume does one cease to be human? Maybe once the mucus had a majority you’re just considered a troublingly ambulatory mucus blob.

And at fifty percent, you become a weird hybrid with an uncomfortable portmanteau: hucus? Muman?

Asking for a friend.

Day 2684

Having a sick baby while you’re sick is not to be recommended. Adding another pair of sick kids is just straight idiocy.

Day 2683

Even with all the bickering that inevitably results, you realize how much the kids entertain each other when you only send one of them to school.

Day 2682

When your dog abandons you to sleep with your visiting mom and

You realize he’s totally going to keep doing it after your husband leaves and

You’re going to be sleeping totally alone for the first time in years and

Day 2681

When your sick baby wakes up a snot monster... with booger gobs all over her little face...

But it’s still exciting because it’s the longest sleep she’s ever had in her crib.

Day 2680

Sick babies are the most pathetic babies and stuffy-nosed baby snores are the most adorable snores.

Day 2679

How to make the dog go absolutely bonkers: one surprise visit from Gramma.

Day 2678

Dear Baby,

Are you trying to give me a kiss or eat my face? It should be easier for your victim/recipient to tell the difference.

Best Wishes,

Your Mother

Day 2677

There comes a point in parenting that you aren’t always sick - right?

Day 2676

Dear Baby,

Have you tried not pooping your pants when you’re supposed to be sleeping?

Best wishes,

Your Mother

Day 2675

And the last kid starts on the path of not being dependent on mother...

Day 2674

Sometimes you really have to wonder what is going on in our boy’s silly little head. “We don’t poop in ears.”? “Helicopters go ‘I WANT MY FOOD!’”?

And more importantly, what do helicopters eat?!?

Day 2673

I love that the realization that it’s Friday made Lizard exclaim because we didn’t have a broccoli dinner... but she didn’t comment on not watching a movie on movie night. Gotta love broccoli priorities.

Day 2672

The manic giggles of our son; our daughter trying to teach her brother empathy; our baby just beaming when you smile at her sweet face.

Day 2671

Using Comic Sans as an act of protest is surprisingly cathartic.

Day 2670

There’s nothing quite like having a hard day when your kid is also having a hard day so that you can also feel like a bad parent for not having any patience for their attitude.

Day 2669

The conflicting feelings, every time: so excited and proud that your baby is learning to crawl... but also goddammit, where’d we put the baby jail?! Now this baby doesn’t stay where you put her.

Day 2668

Some days are made for refining your ability to find silver linings.

Day 2667

Things I have sacrificed for chocolate oranges: dollars, time, and the glass top of our coffee table.

Day 2666

In which the baby discovers rollcomotion, and more baby proofing is suddenly required.

Day 2665

One of the strangest things about kids is finding out about the rules that they quietly assume exist... sometimes based on an offhand remark uttered one time.

Stuffies count as toys, sweetheart. You can play with them like toys.

Day 2664

One of my favourite things about having multiple kids is witnessing the older ones teaching the little ones.

Day 2663

To add an interesting new dimension to your yoga practice, try incorporating a small neurotic dog in desperate need of snuggles.

Day 2662

Every day can be improved by a silly living room dance party.

Day 2661

When your two year old tells you he’s aggravated... (maybe pronounced angervated?)

And gaining a new appreciation for your parents keeping everyone shod without strangling them.

Day 2660

That feeling when you find a new book to be your friend

Day 2659

The baby is probably not possessed.

Day 2658

Lizard has announced her wish that we have another baby and use her brother’s name again; she decrees this would make them twins.

Her vocabulary might need some refining, but at least she likes her brother enough to want another one...

Day 2657

Only our Chinchilla could manage to vomit blueberries into his own buttcrack.