Day 3749

Hoar-frosted trees all day

Foxes fleeing from the spectacle

Of fireworks from last year

Day 3748

 I suspect there are many more christmases of Lego and board games in our future. Hopefully lots of weekends too.

Day 3747

 Oh why not, don’t want some ears to feel left out.

Day 3746

 Dotties down, ear infections up. March strikes again.

Day 3745

 Sleep, eat, sleep, repeat. With occasional intermissions to try to convince the kids (at no volume) to cooperate.

Day 3744

 Yes, Little One, you are quite dotty. We’ve known for a long time.

Day 3743

 The gasp moment is amazing, but watching the kids give each other presents is also great for heart swells.

Day 3742

 Christmas Eve: clean the house, bake all the things, last minute fix for present mixup. 

And then baked goods and video games.

Day 3741

 Banana, making plans to hug Santa, then get up, go pee, wash hands, dry hands, get dressed, and then go downstairs to say BOO and scare Santa. And then read him the night before Christmas…

Day 3740

 Well… the observant one did notice the firefighters. But apparently didn’t think they were worth mentioning until we brought it up.

Day 3739

The amount of joy I get from mail suggests to me that I should send more mail.

Day 3738

 You read me It Was The Night Before Christmas whenever you want. You don’t even need to hold the right book.

Day 3737

 How do you teach a kid not to cut off their own nose to spite their face?

Day 3736

 Banana has picked up her next batch of expressions and heaven help us in our quest to not giggle at inopportune times.

Day 3735

Banana: A Photographic Essay on the Appropriate Shape of Bowls for Drinking Milk

Day 3734

Shovel for the dozenth time, finish tiny clubhouse.

Stare at the list of baking aspirations.

Day 3733

 Thursday levels of exhaustion and the trial of an unseamly favourite sweater would have been hard for our dear boy on their own, even without a winter concert. I suspect he’ll be more excited about it in retrospect.

Day 3732

 You couldn’t ask for more festive weather for tree decorating day.

Day 3731

 Eight years later and I think this kid is finally getting the hang of blowing her nose.

Day 3730

 This flu season is an extended game of whack-a-mole and I do not approve.

Day 3729

 It is almost funny watching your kid hold off on being sick until the moment her birthday party is over.

Day 3728

 The decorating priorities are different when you’re three feet tall.

Day 3727

 Tough tooties, the three year old says. 

And suddenly you wonder whether it was really worthwhile abstaining from swearing in front of the children.

Day 3726

 We have a tree, we added a new year to the spreadsheet, and we started the clubhouse. It’s officially Christmas season.

Day 3725

 I’m not using delay tactics?

…

What does delay mean?

Day 3724

 Only Lizard would start to feel sad about not being able to have more cake while actually eating cake (that she couldn’t finish). 

Day 3723

 Another year, another excuse to look at tiny baby pictures.

Day 3722

 Putting the kid to bed for her last sleep as a seven year old. Feeling a little bad that she doesn’t have fancier parents. Although less pandemic would go a long way to helping her have more excuses to dress up.

Maybe one of our quarter day celebrations will require dressing for dinner, just for that kid.

Day 3721

 I guess if you don’t watch movies all that often, it just makes sense to watch something that was cut down from at least two movies long. It’s practically a two for one deal.

Day 3720

 And so ends another long week of March.

Day 3719

 You can tell me as many times as you like that you’re a little bigger now, but I’m still not letting you play with tiny beads unsupervised.

Day 3718

 Just keep swimming.

Day 3717

You know you got a good one when your husband gets you an excel mug.

It’s Excellent.

See what I did there?

Day 3716

 Watching someone engage critically with Air Bud is better than watching Air Bud. 

Also, just desserts. But too chilled for actual dessert.

Day 3715

 Three year olds can always be relied on to lovingly transmit their viral load to their parents.

Day 3714

 It’s always fun seeing the sick kid at daycare before your kid’s temperature abruptly spikes.

Day 3713

 It is nice to know (somewhat belatedly) that we got books from a book fairy.

Day 3712

 Probably best to take off winter coats before leading your herd of bookworms into a book fair.

Day 3711

 Does it still count as independence if you need someone to watch you being independent?

Day 3710

 If you want all your children to actually eat their dinner, make something new you assume at least one of them will refuse to eat…. And they will all eat it enthusiastically.

Because they are unpredictable little goblins carefully shredding sanity but by bit, like tiny tufts of cotton candy.

Day 3709

 Monday: the most reasonable night for CAH and scotch.

Day 3708

 When your kid makes baby name suggestions like Beehive, or Mommy, and you have to hide your face so she can’t tell your laughing your butt off… and then she grabs your head and says “Mommy! Pay attention!!”

Day 3707

 “Do all chickens have faginas?”

I wonder if he asks these questions at school.

Day 3706

 If all else is stupid, why not try differently shaped pizza?

Differently-Shaped Pizza: It’s Chinese Food!

Day 3705

 When do the less interesting times start?

Day 3704

 Among benefits companies should consider: letting employees go on leave so they can really delve into that new cookbook they just got.

Our video game or loom or Lego or attempt to visit national parks in all the provinces or whatever.

Day 3703

 This spaghetti looks suspiciously like pizza. We seem to have forgotten to cut the dough. And cooked it funny. And added entirely too much cheese and assorted garnishes. 

We should probably try again tomorrow.

Day 3702

 When your kid asks, at bedtime, what animal has a skull most like a human, and which is the most different, and whether a horse is closest or second closest or maybe third closest…maybe it shouldn’t be a surprise that he wants to stay up late talking about everything with his sister.

Day 3701

 Work travel in easy mode, engage!

Day 3700

 Parenting: it’s easy, y’all.

Day 3699

 I do not recommend necks.

Day 3698

 Some rules seem to be self evident until you have children run afoul of them.

No bikes in the bathroom. 

If you ralph in bed, don’t just go back to sleep.

Day 3697

 Realizing too late that I could have started learning R on talk like a pirate day.

Day 3696

 Sometimes happy little mistakes turn into Lego play dates.

Day 3695

 More clearing up about skeletons and mummies required. “Are some skeletons looking that way when they die?”

Skeletons don’t die. They are dead. They have missed the boat for looking.

Day 3694

 Another edition of ‘swap out a primary ingredient for the dinner you already started making!’

Is that a cooking show yet? Give the chefs a basket of ingredients, and after they’ve planned and started cooking, take away one of the ingredients. Give them limited options to substitute, and some of them are frozen solid.

And they have to placate a three year old. 

Day 3693

 Had biscuits, didn’t buy a house.

Day 3692

 It’s a nice change to be a casual observer of a dumpster fire at work.

Day 3691

 Is there anything more glorious than little goblin giggles?

Day 3690

 Subscribe to Goblin Girl’s Animal Facts.

Also her instructions for making breakfast.

Day 3689

 If you want to go for the quietest walk on a beautiful day, go out in the evening the day after Halloween.

Day 3688

 It is very gratifying to see that your children are the polite kind of trick or treaters.

Day 3687

 “I just want to spend some time with my mommy.”

Well I guess we’re doing crafts after all…

Day 3686

 No, we will not regress back to needing diapers again. I’m supposed to get a break for a generation before I have to change those again.

Day 3685

 If you have a plan for emergency hat-making, you must be a parent before Halloween.

Day 3684

 Parenting youths makes me keenly aware of how quickly conflicts can escalate. I hope heads of state are more levelheaded than I am.

Day 3683

On the plus side, at least when the media calls the election wrong now they just do a new tweet half an hour later and delete the old one instead of printing an entire newspaper.

And congratulations, there were several even worse candidates we could have picked. We’ll call it a win.

Day 3682

 Hit me with your best shot.

Day 3681

 When meal planning, remember to check for all the key ingredients before the moment they’re supposed to go into the oven.

Day 3680

 If everyone has place cards, it’s impossible to fight over who sits where. Right? RIGHT?!?!

Day 3679

 Some days you spend a lot of time trying to snuggle them until the grumps are gone.

Day 3678

 Very belatedly realizing I won’t ever have tea with the queen, and I no longer have any need for good manners at all. 

Day 3677

I hope our goblin girl doesn’t get interested in politics. If she’ll take that firm a stance against peeing, who knows what she could get mixed up with.

Day 3676

 Have sock, can puppet.

Day 3675

 Yes, the blue and brown blanket almost certainly makes the baby think about pumpkins.

Day 3674

 Have you tried Ooblek?

Day 3673

 These children, sneaking up on us with their competencies…

Day 3672

It’s fun watching your kids develop stamina. And periodic chill.

Day 3671

Dearest Goblin Girl,

Barring medical problems, your butt is your problem for the next several decades.

Best wishes,

Your mother

Day 3670

 The double whammy of a long wait for the wrong result.

Day 3669

 Dismal survey, endless refreshing. Another day.

Day 3668

 I’m putting together a pretty extensive list of how not to manage. 

Learning by counter-example!

Day 3667

 I was thankful this afternoon, throwing rocks into the lake with a flock of silly noodles. 

Less so this is evening.

Day 3666

 I hope I never look back on this day and regret demonstrating to my kids going off the trail to get around the impassable path.

Day 3665

 Sometimes children defy expectations; awful for getting out the door, totally aces at going to bed.

Day 3664

 All weeks must eventually come to an end.

Just like March does.

Day 3663

One explosion at a time would be preferred.

Day 3662

 Waiting. Ruminating.

Day 3661

 Waiting.

Day 3660

 It seems obliviousness is bliss when you are five.

Day 3659

 I’m a sucker for the trees.

Day 3658

 Some tasks really don’t need repeating.

Day 3657

 Home renovations are uncomfortably like If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.

Day 3656

 If you want to immersion blend the time soup, just have family dinner on a Thursday.

Day 3655

When Goblin Girl decides, you better hope her position agrees with yours.

Day 3654

 I know there are lots of candidates, but I put on makeup today and that really ought to count for something.

Day 3653

 We don’t close doors on people. Not even brothers.

Day 3652

 That feeling when you’re watching the three year old explain doorknobs to the rest of the family…

Day 3651

 But do they have furniture in North Datota?

Day 3650

 To many more years of food, books, and errands.

Love you.

Day 3649

 Someday we will learn Thursday is not the right day for Sunday night dinner.

Day 3648

Things to remember: you can de-grump big daughter if you keep brushing her hair long after the tangles are gone. Bonus de-grumps if you let her brush your hair too.

Day 3647

 Sometimes news comes painfully, dreadfully slow, and sometimes so quick you hadn’t even begun to wait.

Day 3646

Did you know, you can go to more than one place in a day?

And anywhat that tells you that pulling trees out of the ground isn’t active is a liar and a cad.

Day 3645

 A week of hanging out all day with her siblings, and I swear Goblin Girl is getting weirder.

Do other people have three year old who look at their apple slice, say “this looks like it’s poisonous”…. And then eat it?

Day 3644

 Turns out they didn’t sneak downstairs after they woke up. They “accidentally went downstairs”.

And Goblin Girl isn’t sooooo naked. Her little butt is sticking in her undies. So why make a fuss?

Day 3643

 By all accounts, this week has been <embargoed>.

Day 3642

 Embargo 2: The Omni-Embargoening

Day 3641

This post has been embargoed.

Day 3640

 “Mommy, take a deep breath.” -My Goblin Girl

Day 3639

 It’s time to eat zucchini everything.

Day 3638

I forgot that being on the bike feels good but getting off the bike is extremely exhausting.

Day 3637

 Even when you have your reasons, running through the neighbourhood in the dark with a wheelbarrow still feels like shenanigans.

Day 3636

 Give it all away!!!

Also cake. It’s a good weekend for cake, and giving things away.

Day 3635

 First day of school; last day of the new Elizabethan age.

Definitely calls for chocolate cake.

Day 3634

 I don’t think the news is supposed to do the ‘good news/bad news’ bit with news alerts…

Day 3633

 Take the afternoon off; walk all over the darn place.

Day 3632

Someday our adventures won’t come with so many strings of aggravation attached.

Someday the mosquitoes will be more egalitarian.

Day 3631

 Given that he’s been walking around like an arthritic cowboy, I was really expecting a more gruesome wound…

Day 3630

 It’s Books Day!

We walk for books, we sit for books.

Books, books, books.

Day 3629

 Sometimes a tranquilizer gun seems like it would be the best way to deal with overtired children.

Day 3628

Wake me up when September ends.

Or just let me read Wodehouse.

Day 3627

 Unicorns, I love them.

Day 3626

 Weird messages get weirder when Siri has to read them to you.

Day 3625

 The dog is not impressed with the fair folk.

Day 3624

 Make muffins, build a strandbeast, crochet a blanket. 

Contemplate lamp shades.

Day 3623

 If you’re bored, why not build a strandbeast?

Day 3622

 Refill the tank with sleep. Stop running on fumes.

Day 3621

 First we go to the tittet store. 

To get tittets.

For the people.

Day 3620

 The dog has timed his rehabilitation nicely, and I can take him for walks while it’s not so damn hot. Probably, we will both enjoy the rehabilitation.

Even if one of us has to pee on every damn thing.

Day 3619

 Pizza isn’t giving up as long as you also get calamari.

With calamari, it is unmistakably a celebration.

Day 3618

 Sometimes time zones work in your favour. Sometimes time zones are out to get you.

Day 3617

 Off the road again…

Day 3616

 Trips should not start in the morning. My forte is planning, not mornings and the latter brings down the former.

Day 3615

Meep!

Day 3614

 Packing up the car is going to involve strata of clothes and books.

Day 3613

 Just because it is less hot than other days does not mean it’s not hot.

Day 3612

 It’s weird having kids stay up to listen to your adult conversations while you reminisce about the adults your parents took you to visit as a kid.

Day 3611

 Why not take the overtired three year old up the biggest hill of her life?

Would do again, that kid is fun on adventures.

Day 3610

 Don’t slip and slip and slide over drought grass. Don’t fall into trees.

Day 3609

 In which siblings are reunited and Banana discovers the sprinkler.

Day 3608

 We found the cat.

Day 3607

 How did the witches die?

Day 3606

I heartily recommend standing in the river looking for crayfish with your nephew.

Day 3605

 Everything old gets ready torn down to make room for new stuff again.

Day 3604

Who knew that kids could just occupy themselves all day?

Day 3603

 Peace and pandemonium at last.

Day 3602

 The 337th hay bale is just as exciting as the first hay bale.

According to seven year olds, at least.

Day 3601

 The name of the game is ruthless efficiency. The soundtrack is whining and grinding teeth.

Day 3600

 Bathe the children, barber the dog, ill-advisedly bike up a mountain.

Day 3599

 “Charwee, you’re right or you’re wrong. Or you’re not. Charwee, you’re spadeddy. I’m just being silly.”

Day 3598

 I’m sorry, I can’t work any more today. A fawn wandered past my window and I have to go look at it some more.

Day 3597

 Husband turned the bunches of bananas in the freezer into larger bunches of banana baked goods in the freezer. Huge success.

Day 3596

 We are not mall people.I don’t think we will ever be mall people.

Day 3595

 When your kids experience yard sales for the first time and don’t understand how it works and are shy about looking at stuff, and then try to keep taking stuff after you pay. You know, after you have to explain that you need to pay for stuff.

Day 3594

 Second best ain’t bad, but it sure makes the string of future month ends feel endless.

Day 3593

 Always time things to arrive while you’re going to be out of the house. Keeps life spicy.

Day 3592

Tiny spider

Finds an arm hair

A long climb

Day 3591

The biggest one gets a tiny measure of independence and is so thrilled and thankful you’re not entirely sure what to do with yourself.

Day 3590

 Fifteen years later, the booms roll in. At midnight, after three weeks of Tour sleep.

In the morning we can play the exciting game Did the Power Go Out?

Day 3589

Baby steps towards hiking.

Every berry is a dangerberry unless you have concrete evidence it’s not.

Day 3588

 “I can’t believe I’m three!” Says the nuded runner.

Same, kid.

“I want daddy to barely help me.”

I see we’re going to the next level of precision of demands. I don’t remember agreeing to all these contract riders…

Day 3587

 And so ends our last day with a two year old.

All of our children are now allegedly responsible enough for tiny toys. Any bets on which kid gets into trouble first?

Day 3586

 Next steps? Next steps! Next steps.

Day 3585

 There’s an unwritten rule: if it’s summer here but not brutally hot, rainy, or mosquitoey, then you must go outside.

Day 3584

 It’s nice when it’s an historic day for something good.

1-3 for Canada.

Day 3583

 Now semi-certified to make robots!

Day 3582

 On rainy days we can still go for walks. On heat warning days we crack out the toys we got from a neighbour that we’ve been saving for months.

Day 3581

 I am not cut out for climate change.

Day 3580

 It’s not every day we get to cheer on a Canadian at the Tour de France.

Day 3579

 The puppy has been de-stapled! And un-coned! And begrudgingly submitted to physio!

Day 3578

 Never assume that you’ll get to bed in good time in early July.

Day 3577

 Husband is right, I like the swiner things in life.

Day 3576

 The 7.5 year old thinks that 4.6 billion years ago was ‘probably’ before she was born.

Day 3575

 Suddenly realizing that our kids have been to little free libraries waaaaaaaay more times than they have to the actual library.

Day 3574

The two year old was incredulous that I was going to do some gardening because we finished plsnting or as she says “we garded already!”

It’s called weeding, sweetheart. When the weeds outnumber the plants in every bed, it’s probably time to do some.

Day 3573

 It’s aggravating when your workday involves a lot of waiting and you can see the too long grass outside, waiting to be mown. 

Day 3572

 It is not recommended to flip the table if you work from home.

Day 3571

 You rarely get to see professionals play musical bikes.

Day 3570

 Do I want to go for work lunch? Let me check my schedule to see if I have an opening between dog staple removal and communicable diseases at the daycare.

Day 3569

 Has any other kid ever forgotten to put up their arms to push the swing and got a face full of swing? Only our boy could get so absorbed in his imagination between pushes that he fails to notice impending swing.

Day 3568

I’m starting to feel like this little one is going to try to use her threes to enjoy a free range bum. 

Day 3567

 Well, I’m glad someone is delighted by my nose hairs.

Day 3566

 Tell me a story, Banana. I’m all ears.

Day 3565

 Who will fall asleep first? The recuperating hot water bottle or the lap it’s lying in?

Day 3564

 Despite the best efforts of one of our banshees, the house is too quiet without our Bertram.

Day 3563

The tree has benefits that outweigh its stick production.

The tree has benefits that outweigh its stick production.

The tree has benefits that outweigh its stick production.

Day 3562

 When I am big and you are little; when I am a teddy and teddy is a person…

Day 3561

 She couldn’t possibly end up more three than she has been two.

Right?

Day 3560

 Not even pretending that we’re getting out the card game to play with the kid anymore…

Day 3559

 I cannot, in good conscience, recommend overtired children.

Day 3558

 I was not expecting Hot Dog Week to contain no hot dogs.

I did step food inside a library for the first time in forever, so that’s a thing.

Day 3557

 No, I don’t want to take a picture of your booger.

Day 3556

 A stream of tugboats

Day 3555

 It makes you feel his imagination must have come to life: how big were those damn mosquitoes?!

Day 3554

 When the heat gives a warning,

A/C after morning.

Day 3553

 Why not bring an overtired two year old through the ominous marsh?

Day 3552

 Banana has pretty harsh criticism for places that aren’t our house.

Day 3551

 I already get the feeling that Banana will be extra, no matter what age she is. 

Day 3550

 Now our lives will be filled with squares. Perfection.

Day 3549

 Do people last longer than lightbulbs?

Day 3548

 Don’t buy old houses if you like new mattresses.

Day 3547

 The spoons were much more expensive than anticipated.

Day 3546

 Dear Banana,

We are well aware you never want to sleep. We know. We get it. We don’t like going to sleep either.

But someday you will figure out that you really like having had a good sleep.

Please figure it out soon.

Love, 

Your Mother

Day 3545

 I am somewhat annoyed to discover that becoming a flower mom involves feeling protective of the flowers and feeling the need to keep an eye on them.

Day 3544

 It’s official, I’m a mom now. I planted a flower bed.

Day 3543

 Planting trees is very satisfying.

Day 3542

 Have tree, will travel.

Day 3541

 You can even lure little Banana out of the cupboard and make with the promise of a walk.

Day 3540

That feeling when you do extra gardening to distract the kids from the gardening that actually needs to get done.

Day 3539

In which Banana discovered playgrounds and our boy discovered house parties. 

Probably ill omens for the future on both counts.

Day 3538

 For the first (and probably only) time in my life, contemplating buying a coin to commemorate not getting a job.

Day 3537

 Trying to make career decisions feels like walking around an Escher house.

Day 3536

It is possible to forget that you actually have to teach children how to throw and catch balls.

You remember when you try to throw and catch balls with your child. And go: “Oh. Wow. Oh no. Okay, so…”

Day 3535

 Where are we supposed to keep you if you don’t want to go to daycare and you don’t want to go home?

Day 3534

Why not find a new way to be disappointed in your employer on a Monday? 

I’d much rather hang out with Banana, who has accidents by accident.

Day 3533

 Our covid baby does not appreciate large family dinners. 

She does appreciate hunting for droundhogs.

Does not appreciate having to go to bed.

Day 3532

 Dig up the garden, pull up weeds, and mow the lawn like adults.

Build Lego kit… also like adults.

Day 3531

 As expected, Banana has pretty much potty-trained herself. 

Also as expected, she is loudly unappreciative of being told she needs to sit on the toilet at particular times like morning, before and after car trips, and bedtime.

Day 3530

 It would be nice if the rabbits had the decency to be afraid of our dog.

Day 3529

 Some occasions are worth letting the kids stay up a little late, they say. On a school night. Ignoring their future selves.

But also now we’ve heard Banana saying chartreuse. And cockatoo.

Day 3528

 Some days it is very hard to work when there is Lego going on.

Day 3527

 When your kid would rather dig up weeds with you than play Mario party… and then you actually have to go dig up the garden.

Day 3526

 Take delicious cake and make it taller, fancier, and gingerier.

Feel very pleased with yourself.

Day 3525

How to immediately get a parent’s full attention: say, out of the blue, “I didn’t poop or pee in my undies!”

Day 3524

 The littlest one seems to have been taking imagination lessons from her big brother.

The mean giant tried to take her puzzle away, but she used her powers, a flashlight, and a telescope to scare it away. And then a nice giant came and put the mean giant in time out and gave it a stern talking to. 

Says the two year old.

Day 3523

Did not intend to teach the kids that steam can burn you, but here we are. 

Day 3522

 I need to find a scientist who is willing to write a book answering our boy’s questions. I would read the heck out of that book.

Why are our heads on the top of our bodies?

Indeed.

Day 3521

 If you go around the submerged pathway and the grass you walk on is partly puddled, did you just walk through the river?

Day 3520

 How do you evict a bunny?

Day 3519

 We can’t convince everybody that wearing masks helps stop the spread of airborne disease, but at least we know what’s up with eclipses. Progress!

Day 3518

 Who needs sleep when you can build rockets with grandparents?

Day 3517

 I’m not sure it is possible for anyone to be as excited about jellybeans as Banana.

Day 3516

 At what point do we start talking arks?

Day 3515

Mr Gruber says a problem shared is a problem halved. 

I don’t think that’s exactly how the proportions went post-share, because I feel way better…

Day 3514

 What if you put too much cornstarch in your plot?

Day 3513

 How to Make a Promotion Unappealing 101

Day 3512

Walked the trail, still don’t know what the heck I’m doing.

Day 3511

Dear daughter,

Going for a walk is rarely a mistake.

Especially in spring.

Best wishes, 

Your mother

Day 3510

 Plot twist!

Day 3509

 The first day of spring that you have to open your windows to cool your house is a wonderful day.

Day 3508

 It’s not often you sit through a PowerPoint presentation so bad it improves your mood.

Day 3507

How to improve your day in one unexpected step: find a beaver.

Day 3506

 After all, why not more?

Day 3505

 Is this how Noah would have felt when the rain finally stopped? Confused and disoriented?

Day 3504

 On the list of things I never expected or wanted to do, but have now done: bailed out a window well.

Day 3503

 Building barricades to redirect water is much more fun when you’re a kid.

Day 3502

 Snow engineering is more fun than this water BS.

Day 3501

 Apparently it has been long enough since a kid was last home sick. 

Trying to concentrate instead on the miracle of finding an earring that fell off outside.

Day 3500

 Some days you just have to walk all the grumpiest out.

Day 3499

Dear Outside,

Have you considered spring? 

Best wishes,

Nonplussed in Narnia

Day 3498

 One of those strange times that you’re thankful for snow at the end of April.

Day 3497

 This is not fine. No thank you.

Day 3496

 Well.

We almost made it without the basement flooding…

Day 3495

 What if the storm drain is already full up on storm before the storm?

Day 3494

 How long does it take to build an ark? 

What if you can only work on it quietly, after the kids are in bed?

Day 3493

I’m not sure our children appreciate side quests.

Day 3492

 When the two year old is going around the table asking every person to show her their scowl face…

Day 3491

It’s much easier to appreciate snowstorms when going for walks than when shovelling (again).

Day 3490

 “Sometimes I can’t control my ankle.”

Day 3489

 Always be shovelling

Day 3488

 Banana, as expected, is working to potty train herself.

Day 3487

 If you’re given (or take) a snow day, why not also have Pyjamas Day, Crazy Hair Day, Cake Day, and Lego Day?

Day 3486

 Waiting for the snow, at times heavy, to start.

Day 3485

 Aside from the boogers, sitting on the floor with a two year old and doing puzzles is not a bad way to start the week.

Periodically checking on the impending doom blizzard is not recommended.

Day 3484

 That feeling when you hear your kids saying ‘I love you’ to each other… and then immediately start riling each other up again.

Day 3483

 DUTCH BLIIIIIIIIIIITZ!!!!

Day 3482

 But we have to jump on the dots, mommy. I’m not ready to go in the car. Not just yet.

Day 3481

 When it rains, it pours until your flight gets cancelled.

Day 3480

 It’s that time again; do a visual check of the river level to see if our house is likely to fall in this year.

Day 3479

 You are not allergic to sleep, Captain Stinkybutt. You won’t convince me no matter how much you yell about it.

Day 3478

 How many times can you misspell colleg colledge college before you aren’t allowed to put it on your resume anymore?

Day 3477

 Are you doing something right or wrong when your two year old starts carefully writing to do lists?

Day 3476

 What could be more captivating for a two year old than the prospect of building a Lego rocket taller than she is?

Day 3475

 Simmer down, little goblins.

Day 3474

 You know you’re doing something right when the two year old tenderly wipes your face and hands after you eat because she says they’re messy (and you shouldn’t touch anything).

Even if the evening is otherwise punctuated by moans and crying and light brawling.

At least one thing right.

Day 3473

Who can resist a gleeful goblin girl?

Day 3472

 Sometimes you teach kids something by accident and it’s hard to decide whether it’s bad or just hilarious.

« I’m not taking any questions at this time . »

Day 3471

 Sometimes a midday walk can bring happiness. 

Also, Book Day!

Day 3470

 The solution is LEGO FOR EVERYBODY!!!

Day 3469

 Who can resist the excitement of a two year old going to play with her Afi?

Day 3468

 I’m pretty okay with having set a cake precedent.

Day 3467

 It’s extremely satisfying building a trap for your children and having it actually catch them.

Day 3466

 It’s a coincidance!

Day 3465

 When your kid finds out you have a stash of balloons in the house. 

When your kid keeps interrupting you to show you all the cool balloon tricks they have figured out.

When your other kid can’t be trusted with splash pants and rain boots because he “accidentally” played in the melty snow and somehow got his pants wet at the bottom AND the top.

When your littlest kid talks about the plumbers (in front of them) as the ‘the nice boys here to fix the pipes’.

Day 3464

 The best thing you can do with a (lightly) sick kid is walk her around the whole neighbourhood.

The best present for a birthday boy is balloons. For a balloon party. And another. And another. And another.

Day 3463

 More coughs, more snow. Repeat.

Day 3462

 When we planned quarterly objectives, I wasn’t expecting to spend so much time contemplating how to make snow melt away from the house. Or lobbing snow into more desirable locations.

Day 3461

With all the days I have practiced not shovelling, you’d think I would be better at it.

Day 3460

 To tire out kids, set them loose with shovels in a yard so very full of snow.

To tire out parents, set them loose in the same yard with bigger shovels when the thaw has already started.

Day 3459

 Took too many shovel steps and got too sleepy to retrieve my step counter one million miles away in the basement.

Thank goodness for kind husbands.

Day 3458

Solved pivot tables. 

Did not solve giant piles of snow.

Day 3457

 Digging for grass, digging for storm drains.

Another reminder that it could be worse.

Day 3456

 When your littlest one is sad she doesn’t get to go skiing, suggest the next best thing: shovelling snow around the yard! It can keep you entertained for hour!

Day 3455

 Banana, convinced that she found Amma and Afi’s for us because she noticed it when we pulled into the driveway…

Day 3454

 Our dog would not survive long in a world without laps.

Day 3453

 How to torpedo morale in ten incomprehensibly stupid steps!

Day 3452

 Yes, that is a very cute seeing otter in your book. Is it friends with the liver otter?

Day 3451

 Stubbornness genes should be passed on as (at most) an average, not additive with a multiplier.

Face-iest of palms.

Day 3450

 It’s the most involved snow fort I’ve made in years.

Also it’s rude to get an aura when I had already decided to goof off.

Day 3449

 After all, why shouldn’t 2022 be the year we learn melt water fluid dynamics the hard way?

Day 3448

 When Lizard doesn’t feel good she just wants to snuggle and say I love you over and over so you’ll say it back.

Yes, let’s sit and read Astérix together. I love you too.

Day 3447

 When you have a three hour nap in the middle of the work day because sitting hurts too much… you might have norovirus.

But really, who doesn’t want more viruses?

Day 3446

Interminable questions; working plumbing; human plumbing goes awry.

Day 3445

 I cannot in good conscience recommend sick children. Their goblininess is intensified and they leak fluids even more than usual. 

Day 3444

 Dear Universe,

I actually wasn’t hoping for a crash course on dealing with a ralphing child. I think the rest of it all is sufficient.

Best wishes,

Laundromom

Day 3443

Somehow we managed to celebrate Valentine’s Day two weeks late and pancake day two weeks early. But also both twice.

Pancatine’s and Valencake’s Days!

Day 3442

 I don’t approve of little dawdle ducks staying up until midnight.

That’s my job.

Day 3441

 When your kids are playing a game pretending to walk to a little free library, it has maybe been too long since you last took them outside.

Day 3440

I’m hoping 2022 has a surprise twist where the second half of it (or maybe the last three quarters) is absolutely incomprehensibly dull.

Day 3439

 When people talk about doing something you haven’t done for a while being like riding a bike, they mean you fall on your face and skin your palms and knees before you get the hang of it again, right?

Day 3438

 Whoever designed the 2022 bingo cards is a fucking monster.

Day 3437

Who needs school when you can make paper lanterns and ice cream? 

Day 3436

That feeling when only shovelling out a foot of snow is a relief, because you thought you were going to have to deal with the windrow from the plow.

Day 3435

 Welp… at least the van didn’t get hit by a plow.

Day 3434

2022 continues to be incomprehensible: the liberation of Parliament Hill.

Day 3433

Welcome to the labyrinth. 

(Can we dispose of some of the crappy tiny kid games now?)

Day 3432

 It is extremely unnerving listening to footsteps crunching in the snow on the roof over your head.

Day 3431

 I’m not sure I needed that resounding a result, but you do have to appreciate a thing doing it’s job with enthusiasm.

Day 3430

Practice Pancake Day

Prequel Pancake Day

Mardi Gras Pas

Stove Tuesday

Day 3429

 I guess we’ve had enough trial runs and now it’s time for the real thing.

So far it involves more play dough than I expected.

Day 3428

How to torture a homeowner: tie them up and start a drip in the ceiling where they can see it and hear but can’t do anything about it. 

But at least we have stollen.

Day 3427

Have you considered more fever?

Definitely no cowbell. 

Day 3426

 The times are uncomfortably interesting. Which will come first: the end of the blockade, or the invasion of Ukraine?

And how is this even a thing on one weekend during the Olympics during a pandemic?!

Day 3425

 My inner child is thrilled to have a secret tunnel connecting us to the neighbours.

Also my outer child.

Day 3424

 I can’t say it had ever before occurred to me to dress like an elephant to celebrate Valentine’s Day, but I guess that’s a thing we do around here.

Day 3423

 The sky is falling!

Day 3422

 If only I had known that traditional yoga could fix my everything!

You’d think word would have gotten around before now…

Day 3421

 I have further ideas about a household coat of arms, but I’m not sure how to draw a pedant. Maybe I just need to learn the Latin for ‘house of pedantry’.

Day 3420

 It is nice to live in a world where people get paid to design amazing legos.

Day 3419

 Scotch and lego might be the perfect Friday night.

Day 3418

 Attacking plow ridges, shovelling through the drifts, trying out bassoon concertos.

Day 3417

 Why not just build all the Lego?

Day 3416

LEGO EXTRAVAGANZA!!!

(With more extravagance arriving tomorrow)

Day 3415

 Three down, two to go.

Day 3414

 Time for the ruthless completion of chores and resumption of exercise. Boo-ya!

Day 3413

Lego? 

Lego.

LEGO!!!!

Day 3412

 Why not make shields with coats of arms? 

Why not adopt the motto ‘Giraffes’?

Day 3411

 Banana swapped out my chair for hers while we were distracted and has been crowing at every meal that she’s sitting in my chair. 

Once again, this baby makes her own choices about when it’s time to grow up.

Day 3410

Banana: 

stays up late

bickers about toys

gets sad that markers can’t be used by other people

cries because she wants the markers further away from her, no matter which ones they see and how many times you swap them

needs you to carry her to walk in sertles 

needs you to sit on your lap for a meeting you don’t have scheduled

is inconsolably sad because I wouldn’t take her outside in slippers and a sunhat to shovel snow

tries to have a hunger strike because we didn’t make noodles

stays up late

But in between bestows smiles and snuggles and silliness until we don’t really mind. Curse you and your wildly effective cute wiles!

Day 3409

 To cure bickering, try videos on how instruments are made or scishow. Be prepared to hear demands to watch scishow forever after.

But at least the bickering stopped.

Day 3408

 It’s beginning to feel like the endless isolation and the endless snow will conspire to keep us here until the windows and doors are covered. We just have to keep shovelling and shovelling, stacking snowbanks on snowbanks.

Day 3407

 We are ‘design your coat of arms’ days into our two year intermittent isolation.

Day 3406

 Lie on the floor. Moan a little. Wonder how long we have to wait until the kids can make dinner. Give up and order pizza.

Day 3405

If your goal is to go to bed once the kids are asleep, guaranteed they will decide to stay up late. 

Day 3404

The universe really needs to get over absurdist theatre. 

Nobody likes it as much as you think they do. 

Day 3403

 You’re probably raising your kids right when the eldest starts coming up with ideas to trick her siblings into eating. Yup, it’s definitely pirate stew (for me and you).

Day 3402

 Poor little Banana, who couldn’t sleep because she hadn’t had her fruit at lunch and because she had concerns about people being mean in the book we read hours earlier. 

Day 3401

 Every once in a while I am struck by how much of our wordiness the kids pick up. Like when the four year old says to the two year old “this is not a conversation we need to have right now!” 

(He was right; it was time for sleeping)

Day 3400

 This pandemic is starting to feel an awful lot like a hamster wheel. 

Day 3399

 You can do it, train. You can do it.

Day 3398

 The existential horror of pandemic Groundhog Day…

Day 3397

 It will probably never cease to amuse me that our kids usually interpret ‘where did you hurt yourself?’ to be a question about where they were when it happened. Unless of course they just ran in yelling that they hurt their arm, in which case ‘where’ always refers to the body part already mentioned. 

Where did you hurt yourself?

In the living room. 

Where on your body are you hurt?

The floor.

Day 3396

 You know you’re reading a good book when it makes you exclaim loudly even though you’re on quiet mode because the children are sleeping…

Day 3395

 Who needs initiative when your productivity is driven entirely by compulsions and a good ol’ G&S sense of duty.

Day 3394

 Remote learning starts and the support network of parents with young students lights up again

Day 3393

 If life insists on continuing to give you lemons, spend it with someone who decides to learn to make cocktails.

Day 3392

You take the big kids on a walk and they want to see little free libraries. You take Banana on a walk and she’s like “TREES! NOTHER TREE!! MORE TREEES!!” 

And then sometimes she demands to be carried because snow is too slippery. And then she demands to walk.

Day 3391

 She’s not opinionated, she’s Banana(s).

Day 3390

Dear Dishwasher, 

I love you [good night, sweet dreams].

Best wishes,

Handwasher

Day 3389

 Banana truly has a gift for grumpy rhetoric. “I throw your kiss in the garbage!” is an absolute classic. 

Day 3388

 That feeling when it turns out that you bought loose tea that isn’t loose leaf tea…

Day 3387

 Our Banana is very intent on being big; asking to sit at the kid end of the table and for a kid cup. And then you ask her if she’s big, and she says yes but then thinks of her sister and says “actually, I’m little.”

Day 3386

It would help if recipes with bad/weird/dumb method consistently resulted in food that tastes bad.

Day 3385

 It is very important that little Banana gets a chance to say “Good night, I love you, sweet dreams”.

Day 3384

 Fancy dinner to ring out one raging dumpster fire of a year.