You know you’re doing something right when the two year old tenderly wipes your face and hands after you eat because she says they’re messy (and you shouldn’t touch anything).
Even if the evening is otherwise punctuated by moans and crying and light brawling.
At least one thing right.
Sometimes you teach kids something by accident and it’s hard to decide whether it’s bad or just hilarious.
« I’m not taking any questions at this time . »
It’s extremely satisfying building a trap for your children and having it actually catch them.
When your kid finds out you have a stash of balloons in the house.
When your kid keeps interrupting you to show you all the cool balloon tricks they have figured out.
When your other kid can’t be trusted with splash pants and rain boots because he “accidentally” played in the melty snow and somehow got his pants wet at the bottom AND the top.
When your littlest kid talks about the plumbers (in front of them) as the ‘the nice boys here to fix the pipes’.
The best thing you can do with a (lightly) sick kid is walk her around the whole neighbourhood.
The best present for a birthday boy is balloons. For a balloon party. And another. And another. And another.
When we planned quarterly objectives, I wasn’t expecting to spend so much time contemplating how to make snow melt away from the house. Or lobbing snow into more desirable locations.
To tire out kids, set them loose with shovels in a yard so very full of snow.
To tire out parents, set them loose in the same yard with bigger shovels when the thaw has already started.
Took too many shovel steps and got too sleepy to retrieve my step counter one million miles away in the basement.
Thank goodness for kind husbands.
When your littlest one is sad she doesn’t get to go skiing, suggest the next best thing: shovelling snow around the yard! It can keep you entertained for hour!
Banana, convinced that she found Amma and Afi’s for us because she noticed it when we pulled into the driveway…
Stubbornness genes should be passed on as (at most) an average, not additive with a multiplier.
Face-iest of palms.
It’s the most involved snow fort I’ve made in years.
Also it’s rude to get an aura when I had already decided to goof off.
When Lizard doesn’t feel good she just wants to snuggle and say I love you over and over so you’ll say it back.
Yes, let’s sit and read Astérix together. I love you too.
When you have a three hour nap in the middle of the work day because sitting hurts too much… you might have norovirus.
But really, who doesn’t want more viruses?
I cannot in good conscience recommend sick children. Their goblininess is intensified and they leak fluids even more than usual.
Dear Universe,
I actually wasn’t hoping for a crash course on dealing with a ralphing child. I think the rest of it all is sufficient.
Best wishes,
Laundromom