Day 494

In which wife decides that, in future, she will drive to the store with Husband instead of walking to the store by herself at night.

Day 493

Sometime's wive's j'ust h'ave t'o d'o thing's t'o d'rive thei'r Husband's banana's.

Thats all.

Day 492

You know you found a keeper when he helps you build up static electricity so you can zap him in the face multiple times.

Day 491

Delightful Husbands may have been created solely to prevent strangulation in the workplace.

Day 490

You know you have a good Husband when he irons your remarkably wrinkly pants for you, and then let's you put your cold feet on his person to warm them up.

Day 489

Taught a toddler that a tiara should be referred to as a shiny hat.

Also turned my arms into jello trying to shovel the compacted snow off the driveway. And then it started snowing again.

Day 488

I am very bad about interrupting Husband's stories. But sometimes it is for the sake of giggles. And giggles must always triumph.

Day 487

I am beginning to suspect that I won't be able to start a vegetable garden until late June, because our yard will either be covered in snow, or will have turned into a lake.

Day 486

Husband has decided that I don't take enough sick days, and suggests I stay home every time it wake up and feel kinda shitty.

Following his suggestions might result in fewer *headdesk* related headaches.

I should perhaps consider it.

Day 485

Sometimes I forget how much fun it can be to run errands with Husband...mostly because I hate stores that don't sell me books. 

Now to bed! Before Neil starts putting raisins in places even weirder than sausage and lentil stew.

Day 484

You know that your marriage is a special one when you can rickroll your Husband in morse code. 

Enjoy:

-.   .   ...-   .   .-.       --.   ---   ..   ..   .-       --.   ..   ...-   .       -.--   ---   ..-       ..-   .--.       -.   .   ...-   .   .-.       --.   ---   ..   ..   .-       .-..   .   -       -.--   ---   ..-       -..   ---   .--   -.      -.   .   ...-   .   .-.       --.   ---  ..   ..   .-       .-.   ..-   -.       .-   .-.   ---  -.   -..       .-   -.   -..       -..   .   ...   .   .-.   -       -.--   ---   ..-       -.   .   ...-   .   .-.       --.   ---   ..   ..   .-       --   .-   -.-   .       -.--   ---   ..-       -.-.   .-.   -.--       -.   .   ...-   .   .-.       --.   ---   ..   ..   .-       ...   .-   -.--       --.   ---   ---   -..   -...   -.--   .       -.   .   ...-   .   .-.       --.   ---   ..   ..   .-       -   .   .-..   .-..       .-       .-..   ..   .       .-   -.   -..       ....   ..-   .-.   -       -.--   ---   ..-

Day 483

I love the difference in reaction to the female half of a couple holding a baby and the male half of a couple holding a baby. 

Day 482

Today I learned why parents don't want kids to tape shit to their walls. Especially if they plan to paint over it. Several times.

Day 481

Lego games until we hit too tired to Lego anymore. And then discussions about the royal family.

Day 480

Things being slow at work means I am reading all sorts of weird crap on the internet.

Also, it is weird having evenings in which I barely get to see Husband.

Day 479

Impromptu shovelling (before the storm), getting our bitch asses on the erg, the worst farts of all time, important vacation decisions. 

Day 478

Got some writing and some knitting done. Accomplished nothing else.

Meanwhile, Husband accomplished all of the things!

What a good Husband.

Day 477

Went and got painting supplies and other crap we needed from Home Depot... And then felt bad about spending so much money, so we made tacos, played video games, ate chocolate, and sang to each other in funny voices. 

Funnily enough, I am feeling much better.

Day 476

Today was the warmest Sunday we've had in a looooong time. So we decided to rip out the ceiling in the basement bathroom. 

We discovered the now-expected can of worms. More undoing to follow.

Day 475

Today we met a guy who sells people treadmills by letting them pet his dog. Not a euphemism.

We pet his dog. We did not buy a treadmill.

Day 474

Dinner with excellent speed to tastiness ratio (and also healthy!), scotch, and Lego Marvel. 

Friday = win.

Day 473

Learning German escapades:

One of the things the app makes you do is say (repeat) German phrases, and it tells you if you got it right. I didn't the first time for this one, so in exasperation I told my phone to suck a dick. Husband started giggling like mad, and goaded me into officially saying it into the microphone   during my German lesson. This was the result:

Now I'm really concerned about my German accent if my legitimate attempt failed...

Day 472

Today Husband got to come home from a business trip two days early.

I was so excited when I found out it was happening I showered, dressed, cleaned the toilet and the bathroom sink, floor, and fan, vacuumed upstairs, did two loads of laundry, wiped the kitchen counters, sorted mail, washed dishes, swept the floor, put away some Christmas gifts, tidied the front hall, made dinner... And then he still wasn't home, so I went back to knitting while watching Happy Endings and vlogbrothers videos.

In other news, I didn't actually have to get myself to work while Husband was gone cause I called in sick with migraine. Luckily I was feeling better by the time I found out Husband was coming home. YAY naps!

Day 471

Husband heads out of town for a couple days and immediately start making bad life choices. And morning hasn't even happened yet.

Day 470

Husband is leaving town for a few days, so we've been trying to get him ready to go... And get me ready to survive a few days without him. Only one more magical Husband elf morning before I have to handle this shit on my own...

Day 469

Bad life choices this weekend. I started watching Parenthood, which means I have a future of sitting on the couch crying to look forward to.

Day 468

I am too drunk to learn German. 

Also, wine & John green parties are win.

Day 467

I just want to take Stress Paul on relaxing adventures this weekend, but I left him at work.

Day 466

Poor Stress Paul took a beating at work today. 

And then poor Husband got harassed well nigh onto death because I am so punchy.

I think all three of us will be very happy when I start sleeping properly again.

Day 465

GOOOOOOOOSE