Day 1925

Day two of Lizard wearing underwear: beginning to suspect we had potty-trained her already and just didn’t know it.

Rearranged the living room to move the baby jail from a cold spot to a hopefully less cold spot. In the process finally acknowledging the fact that the fireplace is not a place that is likely to have a fire anytime soon.

Day 1924

Lizard’s first day in underwear = zero accidents.

Also, she’s obviously paying attention when we use food words, even when she doesn’t know what they mean. This morning she was cooking a “roasted salad pie” for pretend dinner.

Day 1923

Today was Lizard’s last full day in diapers. Probably. May the odds be ever in our favour.

Day 1922

And so begins the laborious process of trying to get the kids caught up on sleep after Christmas...

Day 1921

Christmas: for stomping on sleep schedules.

Day 1920

Boxing Day: when you take the giant mound of packaging from your kids’ toys out to the recycling bin, and try to figure out where the heck you’re going to keep all these toys and how much you’re going to have to spend at IKEA to have things to tidy the toys into.

Day 1919

It’s so great watching Lizard be a big sister and guiding Chinchilla through his first Christmas. She helped him open presents, tried out his toys, and gave him SO many hugs. I’m pretty excited to hear her explain Christmas to him next year, when she remembers all the stuff about Santa and Christmas.

Day 1918

I just played a Kirby game for the first time in my life and I have so many questions.

Day 1917

I love getting Lizard’s help when we are cooking or baking. It’s great starting to teach her now, and getting her interested and involved in her food. However, sometimes I forget that if she helps us, everything takes NINE MILLION YEARS.

Day 1916

We’ve spent so much less time carefully tracking developmental milestones with the second kid that I kinda forget how great a baby little Chinchilla is, and how much he can do for his age. I was concentrating so much on what he is eating that I wasn’t considering how he is eating... from his doctor’s reaction, pincer grasp at this stage is very good! The blurring of time kinda makes you lose track.

 I’ll have to try harder to keep track, so we can celebrate our little wonderbaby.

Day 1915

Chinchilla is nine months old! He is a wonderful sleeper, and today he fed himself almost his whole lunch (and then immediately needed an outfit change because of banana elbows). He had leek, kale and mushroom pie with us for dinner. He is a wonderbaby.

Lizard somehow learned about queens and tea parties, and knew that the queen is majesty (missing the your/her, but what da heck. Still pretty good). So she had a tea party with an imaginary queen and then they cuddled up on the couch together, took their shoes off and pretend watched the grinch (while staring at the Christmas tree). Then Lizard read the queen some stories and put her to bed.

Day 1914

A fabulous day for our little Lizard:

She decorated her giant dinosaur tree this morning (placed pieces of her alphabet puzzle on her big dinosaur).
At daycare they had a Christmas party and opened presents, ate treats, and watched the grinch who stole Christmas.
When we came to pick her up she said she didn’t want to go shopping with us (“I’m really quite tired”), but we took her anyway and she was soooo excited about the shopping mall! With all the stores! And decorations! (Bonus for us: we kept her sufficiently distracted that she didn’t notice Santa Claus).
We went home and decorated the tree while we waited for pizza. She very enthusiastically decorated the bottom two feet of the tree, and she got to see the pizza deliverer.
And then pizza and dessert and stories and advent calendar.

Having a kid does make some parts of Christmas more hectic, but the enthusiasm and wonder is so delightful, and so infectious...

In other news, skipping rope is HARD.

Day 1913

Lizard found the stockings, or the “decoration socks” as they shall henceforth be called.

Day 1912

I am excited for when work calms down and I get my husband back again.

Day 1911

First Christmas party of the season: Chinchilla tried to eat more of the food provided than his sister; was more or less happy getting passed around while his sister wordlessly showed people her necklace; they were both pretty stoked when people left and Chinchilla could crawl around and Lizard could play and speak louder than a whisper.

Day 1910

Lizard forgave us for not bringing the tree home yesterday. She was *so* excited when it was delivered.... and once we got it inside, she pulled up her couch so she could sit and look at it. And then she lined up her animals so they could all admire it too.

Day 1909

Lizard was extremely excited to pick out a tree... and then was so upset that we weren’t taking it home with us right then and there that she said she didn’t want to decorate it and that we should keep it in the basement. I suspect she’ll feel differently when the tree is delivered and she sees sparkly decorations...

Day 1908

I’ve had my little Lizard home with me the last two days, and she has been so wonderful. We’ve talked and played and snuggled and read books together. The house is going to seem very quiet and empty tomorrow.

Day 1907

I love it when Lizard comments on pictures in books. About a picture in a dinosaur book, matter-of-factly: “that turtle is trying to die.” Not sure that’s quite his game plan, but sure.

Day 1906

Today I learned that baby dragons say “Oof oof oof!” over and over forever, and that the whole family (including the dog) is dragons. Whatever will get you to eat your dragon dinner, kid.

Day 1905

Got beat up by my kids today. I’d tell them to pick on someone their own size, but I don’t want them bullying their peers. And/or the dog.

Day 1904

We’re making up for Lizard’s missed birthday parties by apparently having the birthday celebrations that never end. Poor girl is exhausted... and has enjoyed it all quite thoroughly.

Day 1903

Today Lizard has her first birthday party (the first two were cancelled because she was sick). She was so excited about her cake that in a brief moment of distraction after the candles had been blown out, she leaned forward and took a bite out of the cake.

Our daughter is awesome.

Day 1902

Thinking of my mom while staying up late baking a birthday cake...

Day 1901

One thousand, nine hundred and one days in, and apparently we still treat each other like we respect each other.

We continue to suck at thank you cards.

Day 1900

Chinchilla has demonstrated enough caution and skill and standing that I let him loose in the living room. Hopefully it doesn’t lead to a dramatic increase in head trauma.

Day 1899

Our little Lizard turned three today, and she was very, very excited about it. Every meal she had today was apparently a party.

She’s becoming a tremendous bullshitter. She firmly stands her ground when confronted with facts, even if her positions are a little silly. Like... that cheese is made from lingonberries.

Day 1898

Tonight I kissed my two year old goodnight for the last time. Tomorrow I start kissing my three year old.

Day 1897

Chinchilla is now a two-toother and fell asleep all by himself.

And I can now say that I have comforted somebody (Lizard, for the record) because they dreamed that they dropped their baby giraffe on the sidewalk. She was very, very upset about it.

Parenting certainly means saying and doing things that you never expected to, and never could have anticipated.

Day 1896

Lizard decided it’s time that she start reading books to me, and I should look at the pictures.

 “What do you think the little bunny is doing? ....very good, mommy!”

Day 1895

Took Chinchilla for the second dose of his flu vaccine so he could shamelessly flirt with all the nurses.

Started the countdown to Christmas festivities with Lizard.

Day 1894

Lizard is officially big enough for piggyback rides. I predict that there are some wild rumpuses (rumpi?) in our future.

Day 1893

Some days you just have to hang out in a tent snuggling with a teddy bear to cheer up your kid.

I volunteer as tribute.

Day 1892

Lizard got to help make crisp topping for the first time.

And we are discussing the additional privileges she might get when she turns three and ohmygod my baby is turning three in a week.

Day 1891

Babies have the uncanny ability of knowing when you need to have your shit together... so that they can keep you from sleeping the night before.

Day 1890

We were looking at dog toys at the store, and Chinchilla was apparently unprepared for squeakers. He started giggling like mad, which made another little boy in another shopping cart very excited. And for a few moments two families forgot about shopping and just enjoyed a baby laughing and laughing and laughing.

When we got home, Lizard was pretending to go grocery shopping, when suddenly she announced that she had to go home because she wasn’t being very nice to the people at the store. She seemed pretty disappointed in herself.

Day 1889

Today we were helping Lizard potty train two stuffed dinosaurs. Cause hey, it can’t hurt!

My favourite part was that even with pretend potty training, sometimes they don’t make it to the toilet in time.

Day 1888

Was away from Chinchilla for the first time since he was born. He mostly slept; I mostly wrote an exam. Next time we’ll try for something a little more exciting.

Day 1887

Chinchilla is not sympathetic to academic pursuits.

Lizard, on the other hand, has finally conceded that she might have to go to school before being a palaeontologist... albeit she plans to go to school “for French.” That should definitely help.

Day 1886

Chinchilla officially has the teeniest bit of his first tooth poking through the gum. I’m told it is visible to the naked eye, although he wasn’t being cooperative enough for me to see it myself.

He also ate spaghetti for dinner! We have now officially had all four of us eat the same food for the same meal all together at once! And now that he has tooth, we can really get going with the chunky stuff!

Day 1885

That feeling when your kid is super excited to go to the dentist, because she’s hoping they’ll give her a vaccination.

And that other feeling when your baby is suddenly eight months old. How many times did I blink?!

Day 1884

The whys have come in with a vengeance (why is it windy? Why did the wind knock the barbecue  down? Why did the stuff fall out of the barbecue? Why does the barbecue have gravity? Why doesn’t the barbecue need polysporin? Why doesn’t a barbecue have feelings?

Other things that have come in: telling stories in song, with accompanying interpretative dance.

Day 1883

Two phrases I introduced Lizard to, and which she has enthusiastically adopted: fuffing around and off to the races.

I’m excited about the public unveiling.

Day 1882

The dog SUPER does not appreciate the flurry of pacing and stair-walking right before bedtime that results from compulsions and a Fitbit.

Day 1881

No, Daughter.

I can’t pull the poop out of your bum for you.

No, not even with toilet paper.

Please don’t ask again.

Day 1880

Somehow it’s even worse when the baby has a short nap and it turns out they didn’t poop themselves awake.

Day 1879

That feeling when you discover another thing that you are more compulsive about than your husband: getting your steps in because the goddamn Fitbit told you to.

Day 1878

It seems that Lizard has discovered the word ‘why’. I expect that'sgoing to keep us busy for a long while.

And I discovered that Chinchilla thinks it’s really funny if you throw stuffed bunnies at or beside him and say “Bunny!”.... so that should also keep us busy for a long while.

Day 1877

Lizard had a lot of fun looking around at the toy store, and wasn’t at all concerned that we left without any toys. Told her we were going to the bookstore: “And we’re going to buy books for me to take home and read!!?”

Yup. Definitely our daughter.

And then we left the bookstore without any books for her, and she wasn’t concerned about that either.  I did grab her a brochure on the way out the door, which got her pretty excited. She demanded that it be her birthday present, and in the end I was forced to agree that it was an early present.

So she’s also definitely a little weirdo. But a very, very sweet one.

Day 1876

Today Lizard helped us make spaghetti sauce from scratch, explained that she was pushing poop out “the back of her bum” and was extremely concerned about the dinosaur with “a bleed” in the picture of dinosaurs eating a dinosaur, and prescribed bandaids as treatment.

Chinchilla figured out that he can haul himself to his feet holding onto the bars of his baby jail, and was so pleased with himself he immediately repeated the feat. He also tried to stand up using a laundry basket and his sister’s bed. So we have a looooot if bonks to look forward to in the near future.

Day 1875

If Lizard can maintain her enthusiasm for shovelling, we might actually manage to keep our sidewalks clear this winter. It’s a super effective way of tiring her out.

Also, Chinchilla did an excellent job of demonstrating why you shouldn’t have dinner late when babies are around.

Day 1874

My Darling Children,
I have some life lessons for you:
If you’re very tired, you should sleep.
Flapping your arms and bobbing your head around will not help me get food into your mouth any faster.
If someone says “Listen!” that is a clue that you should listen.
If someone says “this is hot, wait for a minute and be careful”, don’t immediately shove a huge bite into your mouth.
You always have to be dressed to go to the store.
The dog is not trying to eat you. Really.
Love,
Your Mother

Day 1873

Every once in a while, your kids like to remind you how very important it is that they get enough sleep.

Day 1872

I am very thankful to have such a sweet-tempered little boy, despite his much greater than normal snot volume, and the very slow probably soonish appearance of some teeth.

Day 1871

Thank goodness our kids have a long silly phase of overtired or the combined powers of ol’ No Naps and Insufficient Naps would have sunk us today.

Also, “The little doctor drank all her tea, and as she did it, she beganed to go in her cave.” !!

I’m so excited for when she starts telling her brother stories.

Day 1870

I wish that either more people in our neighbourhood would consistently shovel snow off the sidewalk... or that no one would. Then I could just strap some runners to the stroller, and attach some jingle bells to that sucker.

Day 1869

Note to baby: diversifying which bodily fluids you fling around for your mom to Mom to clean up adds both insult and injury. Don’t puke on the boob that feeds you.

Day 1868

Apparently, if you confuse your kid enough, their favourite dinosaur might end up being criminology, which stands on its paws to eat dinosaur plants in the water, has teeth just like a dinosaur, and which is the big dinosaur in the whole world.

Day 1867

Tonight Lizard pointed to her ankle bone and told me it was her foot nipple.

So it might be time for some more anatomy lessons.

Also, why are all the babies bad at sleeping today?!?!

Day 1866

You might be a parent if... someone literally pukes down the inside your shirt, and your reaction is a net positive because they kept all the puke in one place.

Day 1865

The passage of time does not seem to have dulled Lizard’s enthusiasm for sweeping snow. This year she might even be strong enough to be almost sort of a little effective!

In unrelated news, how young is too young to be in charge of clearing sidewalks?

Day 1864

Aside from getting to eat candy, I think Lizard’s favourite thing about Halloween was getting to say Happy Halloween to all the trick or treaters. Every time we heard them coming, she’s drop everything and sprint to the door. And then sometimes get so excited that she’d say trick or treat right back at them.

Strange to think that next year we’ll have two littles walking door to door...

Day 1863

Lizard helped with the serious business of carving our jack o’lantern. She helped scoop out the insides, and she looked at some pictures with me to decide on a design. She was a little bit scared by the mouth (with vampire fangs) she chose, and needed to get a hug while Husband was carving it.

I also needed to teach her a chant to ward off scary pumpkins.

Day 1862

Pulled out the activity table and both kids are very excited about it. While we were cooking dinner, Lizard pulled the table and a stool right up to the exersaucer and started “playing piano” and singing to her brother.

It feels a little like bragging might end our string of good luck, but our little picky eater ate a spicy curry for dinner. It seems like we might have officially turned a corner. Now we just have to work on the speed at which she eats new foods...

Charlie might be starting to get better. He could actually breathe through his nose enough to actually nurse properly. Still got snotty boob.

Day 1861

Mark your calendar: today is the first day Lizard has corrected my grammar. It was probably unintentional.

She’s also started (sometimes) calling us Mom and Dad instead of Mommy and Daddy.

Who said these little people are allowed to grow up so fast?!

Day 1860

I am very proud of Lizard’s language skills. Her vocabulary is quite substantial, and includes a number of pretty complicated words. She is generally very good at speaking in grammatical sentences. She astonishes and delights me on a regular basis.

But there’s something about hearing her say her first sentence in French...

Day 1859

That feeling when your kid is “making you dinner” and tells you that you have to stay back because the pan is very hot...

Day 1858

There are ways to explain or rationalize the problem of evil. The problem of insomnia in a parent with a baby and a toddler is a whole different can of worms.

Side note: it sucks extra hard when you’re a bookworm. All the time you spend trying to fall asleep when you could be reading...

Day 1857

Husband heads off to Saskatoon for work; Lizard immediately starts packing her bags to head to Saskatoon Jam (also sometimes called Saskatoon Berry). She packed her bags (wine bottle gift bags) into her car and was off, despite admitting to not knowing where Saskatoon Jam is (I suggested she ask Siri). Despite promising to drive safe, and announcing that she wouldn’t drive fast, she still got there in about a minute. Once she got there, she seemed to decide that her brother could come too, and started packing a bag for him. When his activity cube wouldn’t fit in her bag, she decided she’d just carry it for him instead.

I really really hope this game continues tomorrow. It’s a delight to witness.

Day 1856

Some days you reach a level of tired where the adorable grins from the baby become much less effective.

Day 1855

It seems like Lizard believes that your birthday is the day you eat your birthday cake. I got *waaaay* more birthday wishes from her today.

Also, IKEA is a really excellent shopping adventure if one of your favourite activities is climbing up onto chairs and beds.

Day 1854

We’ve grown accustomed to the dog hiding under the crib when his doggy senses start tingling to tell him we’re about to leave the house without him. Apparently he’s now decided it’s a good place to sleep; presumably because he knows we won’t let him actually sleep in the crib with the baby.

Day 1853

I’m sure the nurse was cursing her ill-luck when she saw us queued up to get flu shots with our tiny people.

So I was super proud of my kids being so nonchalant.

And the look on the nurse’s face when I got Lizard to say thank you was priceless.

All that said, Lizard is still kind of a weirdo for telling us she appreciates it that we got her a flu shot, and for saying the flu shot makes her arm feel better.

Day 1852

Apparently you can’t get your kid to be a good little trained monkey in front of a guest, even on your birthday.

Day 1851

Some days it is more challenging than others to parent the bucket of feelings formerly known as our daughter.

Day 1850

Introduced my daughter to tea. The reception seemed favourable; she’s already scheduled her next cup.

Day 1849

I’m using the excuse of walking the dog and getting fresh air for the baby to override my reluctance to walk without a particular destination. Maybe it will even continue once the snow starts. Hopefully the power of Fitbit continues to compel me...

Day 1848

We had to change the meal plan at the last minute and I assumed that that meant the end of our winning streak of the Lizard eating what we’re eating... but she insisted on eating it when I told her what we were making: coconut curried broccoli and fish. And she did.

I don’t think I would have eaten that when I was a kid.

She also peed in the potty several times. She (genuinely) helped get the baby’s dinner ready. She put cardboard in the recycling without prompting. She was quiet when I got her up from her nap because I told her that her brother was still sleeping.

I had giant swells of pride happening all day. She is such a wonderful kid, such a sweet little helper. I feel indescribably lucky that she is our daughter, and that I get to be her mommy.

Day 1847

A picture drawn by a toddler is not fixed; apparently it can become whatever they want, and can change from moment to moment. No wonder childhood can feel like magic.

Day 1846

Tried to get the baby a flu shot and failed. Definitely did all the steps required for today’s goal.

Discovered the people behind the accounting designation I am trying to get think 2 = 4, at least if you’re counting business days.

Day 1845

You can lead a toddler to the potty, but you can’t make them pee.

Until today! Slash until the conditioning has started to sink in, and assuming the kid isn’t in the throes of toddler psychosis...

Day 1844

The baby has discovered blowing bubbles, and it’s possible that that is so exciting that he will never sleep again.

Day 1843

Parenting: You never know what bodily fluid will be on your shirt next.

Day 1842

Lizard: so tired by the end of Thanksgiving Party that she’s prone to tears and wants to hang out with a parent; still does not want to leave Thanksgiving Party.

Day 1841

It’s pretty delightful having the chance to have a nice quiet super delicious thanksgiving dinner on our own. Turns out Lizard is totally willing to eat roast beef... at least when there are Yorkshire puddings to bribe her with.

Day 1840

We are once again in trouble for keeping the dog up past his bedtime. Disapproval is coming off of him in waves.

Day 1839

Apparently we need to work some more on “don’t hit your brother in the head with toys”.

Day 1838

"Most blowouts in one day EVAR!!!" is not the kind of aspirational goal we were hoping to see from you, MISTER Chinchilla.

Day 1837

Our picky eater are curry today, so once again we're done parenting her! YAY!

Day 1836

We are very lucky to have a little boy who remains fairly cheerful, even when he's having trouble sleeping because his nose is so stuffed up*.






*is a never ending fountain of snot.

Day 1835

The start of my course is nigh. Now I just have to watch what I say for the next two months...

Day 1834

If you value sleep, don't let anyone with "just a runny nose" anywhere near your baby.

Day 1833

Tonight, while we were making dinner, Lizard carefully measured out a tablespoon of baby cereal, put it in a bowl, and poured in water from a measuring cup. Then she announced that she had made Charlie's dinner.

She also deployed her new strategy for dealing with scary things while we were watching a movie: make loud noises at it until it goes away.

Day 1832

It turns out if you totally ignore your kid after serving a meal, she'll actually taste it.

Day 1831

Time for another round of Why Is the Baby Grumpy?

Poosplosion? Gas? Discomfort from eating baby cereal for the first time? Runny nose? Maybe an ear infection? Overtired?

Oh. Baby had chubbier cheeks at the end of the day than he did at the beginning. Growth spurt.

...and also probably the gas at the runny nose and the overtired.

Day 1830

Introducing Solids: Take Two. After one bowl, Chinchilla seems tidier and more enthusiastic than his sister was.

He was also kinda grumpy for the rest of the day.

I see a bunch of mom songs in my future...

Day 1829

If you give a Lizard a notebook with stickers in it, she will forget her shyness in the interest of telling literally everyone in the house that she has stickers.

Day 1828

Went to the doctor's office for Chinchilla's six month appointment. He was in charge of not crying during his shot and of grinning at the nurse; his sister was in charge of entertaining the nurse with her chattering.

Also, she chose Star Wars stickers.

Also also wik, after a day of eerie silence, I have my puppy/hot water bottle back.

Day 1827

I am thankful to have two good little travellers - including an extremely enthusiastic one.

Day 1826

To celebrate being married for five years, we browsed for books without kids, gathered all the overtired cousins together for an extremely loud and amusing dinner, and watched some Galavant. Perfect.

Day 1825

The amount of running Lizard is willing to do expands to fill the zoo she's in.

Day 1824

Trying to put an overtired toddler to bed is exhausting, frustrating, and time-consuming. But if you wait until they're totally exhausted, they suddenly become extremely compliant.

On a related note, while I do wish that Lizard would nap during long car rides, I must admit that she's a pretty fun travel companion.

Day 1823

Soundtrack of the day: Babies Not Napping.

Day 1822

If you're going hiking in bear country, bring a cranky baby with you. You won't have to figure out what to talk loudly about.

Day 1821 (Belated)

We have a little mountaineer! Ish.

Day 1820

That thing where you figure the kid can just sleep in the car during the three hour drive.... and then they just....don't.

Day 1819

It was wonderful to see little shy kids forget to be shy because COUSINS!

Day 1818

Lesson learned: once you have two kids, don't go anywhere on vacation until they're old enough to sleep in real beds.

Day 1817

High on the list of things that are pathetic: a baby with a runny nose.

Day 1816

Today I found out it is still possible for the baby to poop into his diaper, and not get poop all over everything else. Who knew?

Day 1815

Sometimes you have to remind yourself that the baby doesn't mean to poop all over everything. There is no poop agenda. There is no poop vendetta.

Just a baby insisting on napping in his swing, which happens to be his favourite place to poop.

Day 1814

For the first time, it looks like both kids might be getting sick at the same time.

Yet another milestone to enter in our imaginary parenting scrapbooks.

Day 1813

Lizard has now helped with a full cycle of vegetable gardening. She planted basil and beans (both sprouted and everything!), pulled the leaves off weeds, got misted when we watered the garden, and helped pick beans.

As she says, "I'm a good gardener!"

Day 1812

It is sometimes quite obvious that our primary goal is to make food delicious. Luckily, even a hot mess can be delicious.

Day 1811

If you need an excuse to give a two year old a bath and/or to wash every article of clothing that they're wearing, just give them an ice cream cone.

Day 1810

Start contemplating taking your kids to an unfamiliar place and, like magic, the baby will immediately ramp up efforts to learn to crawl.

Day 1809

Lizard was talking about how much she loves her pants in the car on the way home. When I showed her the 'fabulous' skirt that her friend across the street brought over for her, she immediately stripped her pants off.

Apparently fabulous cannot be denied.

Day 1808

Our poor puppy. He wants to be friends with everybody, and is sad and confused when his overtures are rebuffed (even by cats). He gets particularly snuggly with the babies just when they start getting particularly good at grabbing and pulling. And perhaps worst of all, his people refuse to go to bed at a decent time, and therefore keep him up past his bedtime.

Day 1807

Lizard was in denial when I woke her up from her nap and told her the power was out. But when I explained that people from the power company were going to fix it, she got very excited and bounded out of bed, announcing that *she* would fix it.

She was also so excited about the pizza man coming to bring her pizza that she ate almost two whole slices by herself. And talked about the pizza man almost the entire time ("the pizza man ate his own pizza because he was hungry. The pizza man went home and went to bed because he is very sleepy." If you don't believe projection is a thing, go find a two year old).

Day 1806

Apparently it is possible to sprint/march/jog around the zoo for a few hours when you're two.

You can also be very excited about dinosaurs, then decide you don't want to look at most of the dinosaurs because they're too scary...and then immediately ask to go back to see the dinosaurs.

Day 1805

Chinchilla hin chills is still at an age where he will readily show off his new skills; Lizard is apparently too old for that, even in front of people she's pretty comfortable with. It's an annoyingly small window. How am I supposed to show everyone how awesome my kids are?!?

Day 1804

Our little sponge picks up so much that she knows what we're talking about even when we spell out the key words. I wonder how many codes/languages we'll have to learn to stay ahead of this girl...

Day 1803

Chinchilla can now roll both ways, rotate on his back and on his belly, push himself backward, and sort of almost wiggle himself in a mostly forward direction.

He's also remarkably fast at it.

So all of a sudden, nothing on the floor or near the floor is safe from drool.

Day 1802

And just like that, the baby has rollcomotion.

Day 1801

The only time I want a video baby monitor: when the baby first learns to roll from back to front, and they insist on doing it when you put them to bed... and then they scream about the indignity of lying on their bellies. Then don't roll over! Or roll back over! Or just go to sleep, you little weirdo! I've seen you fall asleep flopped over in what looks like a desperately uncomfortable position!

Sigh. You get them nicely sleep trained, and then they learn rolling and it all goes out the window. Because babies are monsters.

Day 1800

The problem with trying to take pictures of the baby while he's lying (on a blanket) on the floor: the dog photobombs all your shots in an attempt to get snuggles.

Day 1799

Feeling thankful to not live where hurricanes do, and to have a dry house.

And to have a daughter who thinks a snugglefish is basically the same as a cuttlefish.

Day 1798

Today we learned that Chinchilla *does* know how to make strange, at least on days that we keep waking him up from naps.

Day 1797

Lizard tripped while we were out for a walk and scraped her knee. She spent large portions of the walk running at full tilt, enjoying the heck out of life.

She was reportedly very brave while getting her knee cleaned and bandaged.

But then.... the lack of nap hit, and suddenly she was limping and in dire need of hugs and cuddles.

She even told me I was allowed to sing, which would normally be indicative of end times.

Moral of the story: only take your kid for walks if they've had a nap. Or don't plan on being able to use your arms until after they're in bed.

Day 1796

Let a toddler watch tv for three days in a row at bedtime, and suddenly they are trying to make you take them up to bed instead of resisting every step of the way.

Also, the baby knew his daddy had disappeared and was SO happy to see him appear again.

Lizard was so excited about daddy being home that she had to sing instead of sleep.

Day 1795

I love going for walks and watching my daughter boldly striding off in search of adventure... and then getting distracted by a leaf.

<repeat>

Day 1794

The good news is that I've lasted for more than 24 hours with all the babies by myself and no one has died or been grievously injured. The bad news is... there's still plenty of time left before Husband comes home to rescue me...

Day 1793

If you give kids the opportunity to show how awesome and helpful they are, they'll do their best to rise to the challenge.

Day 1792

Toddlers are apparently not built to be sympathetic toward sleepy parents.

Day 1791

Trying to figure out what might be scary to a two year in half-remembered movies is a tricky business.

Day 1790

Good thing Lizard has an unfailing love for playgrounds, or she might never have forgiven us for not taking her to the "Russian pabillion".

Day 1789

My daughter called me her big hero today, so I can pretty much die happy.

Day 1788

Signs you might need more sleep: you think you are typing with your eyes open...even when you have to keep opening your eyes to fix all the typos.

Or when you accidentally pick up the wrong baby.

Day 1787

I am incredibly thankful that I get to raise my kids in Canada.

Day 1786

Sometimes I feel like we should make a spreadsheet to track the variables when Lizzy is presented with new foods. SHOW ME THE PATTERN, UNIVERSE.

Day 1785

An evening of food and culture, and I think Lizard was most excited about getting to clap a lot.

Day 1784

It's terrible to think how many of the wonderfully silly things my daughter does I will someday forget.

Day 1783

Turns out sleeping training goes better if you aren't trying to change everything at once.

Day 1782

An evening of triumphs for Lizard with a sad end. She pooped in the potty, and she happily tried and ate turkey and beets..... and then ralphed it up all over the place.

Day 1781

Life with kids is so hilariously variable. A day can start with a blowout diaper and a kid falling out of bed, and face first onto a dollhouse, and then down stairs... and that doesn't mean it's going to be a bad day. It's pretty much guaranteed that there are giggles coming your way.

Like when your kid takes a stab at singing there's a hole in the bottom of the sea.

Day 1780

Chinchilla was obviously concerned that I would find the house too quiet after Lizard returned to daycare after our staycation; so he gallantly squalled instead of napping.

Day 1779

Our daughter waved blithely at the cougar that suddenly sprinted across it's cage. A few hours later, she told me that her milk scared her (because it made an odd gurgle while she was drinking it).

And we're still putting a bunch of thought into what movies we think will be okay for her to watch.

Day 1778

Our daughter is learning words so fast she's getting away with being a sass monster because the sudden use of new words is so funny.

Day 1777

Our silly Lizard can't decide whether she wants to talk more about being scared by the dinosaurs at the museum, or about how the dinosaurs were her favourite and when are we going back?

Day 1776

The only knowledge of museums my kid has is from a terrible joke I keep repeating to her. She still got more excited about the museum than the zoo.

Day 1775

My two and a half year old can say oryctodromeus. She says her job is "toys and elephants". Maybe I should be teaching her to say 'palaeontologist'.

Day 1774

One of the hardest things about being a parent is having to stand firm when your kid is pushing boundaries, even if you are exhausted and fed up. Because a kid will forget the million times you said no, and remember forever the time you said yes... and will assume the yes is a given every time thereafter.

And boy will you ever hear about it if you say no...

Day 1773

<Lizard being an infuriating toddler to delay bedtime>

Mommy, can I smooch you?

<smooch>

Are you happy now?

Day 1772

This week on Now I Know What My Parents Were Going Through: trying to keep your kid from staying up all night reading.

Day 1771

Only our waterbaby could get chilled playing outside when it's thirty degrees.

Day 1770

The children have started ganging up on us already and are conspiring to keep us from getting any sleep.

Day 1769

Yes, I do need the opportunity to sit on the little chair and colour with markers.

Day 1768

That thing where your baby is four months old and you realize you don't have any pictures of your whole family together...

Day 1767

Apparently it *is* possible for the baby to fall asleep before 10pm...

Day 1766

We got Lizard a little playhouse and I think she'd happily live outside now.

Day 1765

Brought Chinchilla to the doctor's office so he could flirt with all the nurses.

Also for vaccinations.

Day 1764

How to tire out a toddler: take them to the zoo and stick their baby sibling in the stroller.

You just have to be prepared for a day of exclamation marks.

Day 1763

Maybe Lizard has been sneaking her brother espresso beans so she can stay up and watch movies while we try to sleep train him...

Day 1762

A glimmer of hope on the road to a sleep-trained baby... only somewhat squashed by a squalling big sister.

Day 1761

Accompanying the toddler for her bike ride involves a lot more bike-carrying than I expected.

Day 1760

It's not good news for us for sleep training, but you have to admire Chinchilla's stubbornness endurance.

Day 1759

Nothing like hearing about other people's troubles to make you take stock and be thankful.

Day 1758

Babies: they'll do their best to sleep through a diaper change, but god forbid you put them down to sleep in their crib when they're tired...

Day 1757

I'm reasonably certain that four month olds lack the capacity for malice... but it's still sometimes hard to remember that the baby is probably not out to get us.

Day 1756

The baby won't sleep when he's tired, but at least the toddler likes me again!

Day 1755 (belated)

Chinchilla has decided to try to prove that he is more stubborn than his parents by refusing to be sleep trained.

Day 1754

Last night before sleep training. Trying to enjoy the no crying... and looking forward to a baby who sleeps.

May the odds be ever in our favour...

Day 1753

One of the most important lessons of parenthood is learning to accept that sometimes you will suck. One of the other important lessons is that you can't let sucking discourage you from trying to do better.

Day 1752

Lesson learned: you can't stay up super late watching Tour se France coverage when you have a baby.

Day 1751

Nothing like hearing about other people's relationship shenanigans to make you appreciate a spouse who is a true partner. 1751 days of married life; roughly twice that many days of enjoying the good fortune of knowing and being with each other.

Day 1750

Absorbing all the snuggles I can while my daughter believes that mommy is an acceptable parent.

Day 1749

Having a chatty baby is FUN.

And if this is really an indication that Chinchilla will be more talkative than his quiet baby sister, then  we're in TROUBLE.

Day 1748

Raising our kid right: she wants to go on a "benchure", but knows that you have to "sunsceem" first.

Day 1747

Took a toddler to the zoo for several hours in the blistering heat with a baby in tow and skipped naps.

Would absolutely do again.

Day 1746

Sometimes you know pretty early whether you've succeeded in making a reader.

Day 1745

Give a kid a set of dishes and you'll drink pretend coffee and eat pretend lasagna and goulash all day.

Day 1744

After all the excitement and anticipation about Gramma's arrival, Lizard almost managed not to be shy at all.

Chinchilla is doing his best not to sleep at all.

Day 1743

New difficulty level unlocked: cleaning rampages with multiple kids in the house.

Day 1742

Canada Day is less fun when you have a cranky toddler and a baby who won't nap. How am I supposed to watch fireworks in these conditions?!?

Day 1741

Impatient people who need lots of sleep probably shouldn't reproduce.

Day 1740

New high priority goal: find new ways to make Chinchilla giggle.

Day 1739

The precocious starts early.

Lizard was cuddling with her brother before bed and said to him: "This is my beautiful bandaid. Do you see? I got it when I was my age."

Day 1738

Apparently you just have to get your baby super overtired to make them giggle.

Day 1737

Parenthood has not made me any more kindly disposed towards socks.

Day 1736

Sleep training the second kid: all the sadness and guilt of the first time around, now with the anxiety you're going to screw up the first kid's sleep with all the crying.

Day 1735

Lizard watched her first movie today, and successfully navigated the scary bits.

Day 1734

Some days your kid has good reason to yell at the dog. And some days your kid inexplicably yells at the dog not to be an armadillo.

Day 1733

Progress! Started the evening with some show and tell, but still too shy to sing in front of other people.

Day 1732

If your kid wants to cuddle, drop everything and cuddle.it can only make your day better.

Day 1731

Nothing like having your toddler try to send you for a timeout.

Also nothing like the feeling of having to move your baby to a bigger bed.

Day 1730

TIL belches are terrifying and can make a baby almost inconsolable.

Day 1729

Dear Chinchilla,

I'm pretty sure it's against the rules for babies to get worse at sleeping as they get older.

Love,

Your Mother

Day 1728

One of the best things in the world: when your kid reaches up to hold your hand. Of their own volition. On purpose.

Day 1727

Things that are fun: roaring at it until your kid doesn't find their room scary anymore.

Day 1726

"I like my brother. He is so sweet."

Day 1725

Power outages are much more fun when a) there is a storm to watch and b) you don't have babies to put to bed.

Day 1724

Good thing I made Chinchilla's baby blanket so big - apparently it needs to have room for two kids to have tummy time.

Day 1723

Lizard has had her first real haircut. Now I know why my mom used to have us watch a movie when she cut our hair...

The good news is, it's probably more or less straight for the most part.

Day 1722

Sometimes you just have to lead a toddler to a big bucket of dirt.

Day 1721

We did some work getting ready to plant the vegetable garden (and planted some tomatoes). Lizard has now discovered playing in dirt.

I see a lot more baths in our future...

Day 1720

Some days, you get to giggle all day long with your two year old.

Day 1719

Today Lizard told us she was "too busy" to come to the table for dinner.

Day 1718

Sometimes even Mommys get hugs.

Day 1717

Keeping Lizard up the teeniest bit past bedtime is like giving a mouse a cookie.

Day 1716

My tiny, giant girl is two and a half!

The older she gets, the more apparent it is that if you don't appreciate absurdism, parenthood may not be for you.

Day 1715

The babies have the same modus operandi: be charming delights when we try being social out in the world, and then go frigging apeshit once we're home.

Day 1714

Baby's first out of town trip = success.

Also, when we take our daughter places people like her because she's adorable and polite. And I just hope she gets over her shyness quickly so people can like her because she's a hilarious weirdo with a huge vocabulary.

Day 1713

If you yoga with a toddler, be prepared for:
Hair-pulling
Chest-sitting
Pushing
Demands to switch yoga mats
Having your mat rolled up while you're using it
Unconventional attire
Lots of downward dog
Reminders to take big breaths
Requests for more yoga
Watching them lead your spouse through poses

Winning.

Day 1712

If you want to make sure your kid gets enough exercise, get a house with a circle in the floor plan.

Day 1711

Hazards of being married to me: you answer a FaceTime and get an eyeful of raw chicken and an earful of screaming baby.

Day 1710

In which Chinchilla brings home the booty, and Lizard picks new best friend based on their shared love of reading (Slinky Malinki).

Day 1709

To give your bad day a time out, Skype-watch a silly movie with your sister.

Day 1708

Candlelight is much less romantic when there's a baby in the house.

Day 1707

A new cooking toy and new cookbook make for happy Husbands and Wives and bellies.

Day 1706

Today the baby just wanted to sleep, eat, smile, and poop.

It was amazing and we should do that every day.

Day 1705

Reasons stores have those silly car shopping carts for kids: cause I kinda want to shop at Sobey's more so we can push Lizard around going "DRIVE DRIVE!! HONK HONK!!"

Day 1704

Parenting a toddler means knowing explosions are coming but not knowing what will set them off.

Day 1703

That thing where you take your huge baby to the doctor for an appointment and discover they're actually pretty dainty, as babies go.

Day 1702

With some effort, some good luck, and the good grace of our Lizard, Husband had a good birthday. He even got to snuggle with the littles! And play with his new toy! And watch Lizard eat delicious cake excruciatingly slowly!

Day 1701

Lizard learned to say 'Ummm'. I'm sure it'll drive me bonkers in a few days, but right now it's hilarious and delightful.

Also, according to our little sponge, we make stern faces when we ask if she's done eating... cause she did it to me today.

Day 1700

Never underestimate the strength of your kid's love for and curiosity of their younger sibling.

You half-jokingly ask if they want to change the baby's diaper, and suddenly they want to help wipe the baby's bum all the time...

Day 1699

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether your kid just doesn't understand a subject it if they're just trolling you.

No Lizard, the sandwich is not your mother.

Day 1698

And suddenly, after a chance meeting, bike rides are back on the table.

Day 1697

Today I carried a boxed BBQ into the house after it came in the mail.

Day 1696

Lizard helped make her first banana bread tonight. Hopefully it's okay that half of the butter was added somewhat belatedly....

Day 1695

It's probably not a coincidence that babies start social smiling at about the same time that they figure out how to scream reaaaaaally loudly.

Day 1694

This Mother's Day, I received the greatest gift of all: a toilet you can poop in*.


* Citation needed

Day 1693

Eurovision inspires bad life decisions.

Day 1692

First day home by myself with all the babies. I didn't cry (everyone else did), so I'm calling it a win!

Also, Lizard displayed her mastery of "ridiculous" and "absolutely". I am so on board with this.

Day 1691

Today's walk (brought to you by toddler) featured the most walking in small circles of all time.

Day 1690

"Mommy, I am going for a with my telephone. Okay? I'll come back."

Day 1689

Who needs sleep when you have Eurovision?

Oh yeah... parents with a new baby... and a toddler...

Poop.

Day 1688

Aaaaand we have social smiles!!

Also imagination. Lizard apparently played hide and seek with a dragon today.

Day 1687

More evidence we have a sponge for a kid: "Daddy, can you answer me?"

Day 1686

With parenting, sometimes you can't tell whether you've just done some brilliant or set a dangerous precedent that you will soon live to regret.

Like convincing your kid to let you brush their teeth by letting them brush your teeth.

Day 1685

I hope I am never too old for swings.

Day 1684

that thing where your kid is the age that the last thing you should do when they're overtired is bring them the food they asked for and put it where they tell you to.

Day 1683

Sometimes when you say you want to go for a walk, you actually just want to sit in your stroller, eat cookies, and watch the world go by.

Day 1682

Lizard, talking to herself in the backseat, apparently narrating her day:

"Izzy don't do that. Izzy don't do that. Izzy don't do that. Izzy timeout. Izzy go to bed. Izzy crying. Alice crying."

Day 1681

If I could have extra sets of hands, or be able to be in multiple places at once, but only for fifteen minutes per day, I would use it for getting home from the grocery store when it's dinner time for the toddler, poop time for the dog, and the scream time for the baby.

On days we don't go to the store, I'd use the extra hands for dressing a toddler. Maybe I'd find out how many hands are enough hands with a resistant kid...

Day 1680

If you're in a bad mood, a small child can totally turn your day around.

And then turn it around again.

And again.

And again.

You just have to try to avoid getting dizzy from the emotional tilt-a-whirl.

Day 1679

That thing where your kid mispronounces a word into something inappropriate and you just have to not let them see you laugh...

Day 1678

How do you explain to a two year old that she's probably not going to be able to catch a whale with her hands?

Day 1677

Kids: much cuter when they are sleeping than when they are screaming their faces off.

Day 1676

Nothing like having all your babies screaming at you while you're stuck in an unfamiliar and uncomfortable car.

Day 1675

We're all trying to condition each other.

We're showing Lizard that if she pushes her chair back, she loses her booster seat; she's teaching us that if we take away her booster seat, she unleashes a cavalcade of horrors.

Day 1674

That thing where you feel kinda bad shopping without your toddler, because it is apparently one of the most exciting activities in the world...

Day 1673

It is so bizarre seeing your exuberant and talkative kid become absolutely paralyzed by shyness.

Day 1672

Celebrating small victories gets much more important when you're a parent.

But you should probably not get into the habit of celebrating them with booze.

Day 1671

Informal polling suggests that most people think it's funny when a toddler says "Drive drive drive!!! Honk honk honk!!" while "driving" a shopping cart with a steering wheel around a store. A small minority are not at all amused.

Day 1670

The "you can't go outside if you don't get dressed" threat doesn't work so well when your kid goes "Fuck it! Who needs outside?!"

Day 1669

That thing where your considering popping your kid's helium balloon because now that it's somewhat deflated it's become a creepy murder balloon following you around the house...

Day 1668

It's official: Lizard legitimately helps put groceries away. Now we just have to wait for her to be big enough to carry them in from the car...

Day 1667

If it's not already a thing, someone needs to invent ten second meditation for parents.

Day 1666

Once you have a toddler with a bunch of words, you pretty much have endless hours of entertainment for free just sitting talking to them.

Day 1665

Our kids continue to try to convince everybody that they are always really easygoing and always follow directions...

Day 1664

It's really neat seeing your kid interact with other kids, especially kids of about the same age. And really gratifying to see more "let me show you..." than "gimme!"

Day 1663 (Belated)

When your two year old tricks you into offering to take her for a walk... and then also does it to your husband...

Day 1662

Parenthood really makes you appreciate things like sleep, showers, and the ability to use both hands.

Day 1661

Both of my children have now managed to pee in their own hair.

More than once.

Day 1660

Tough parenting choices: does your toddler really need to eat if they want to read books and snuggle with you?

Day 1659

Once you have a toddler, you miss all the snuggles you got when you had a newborn. But oh man is it ever nice when your toddler snuggles with you on purpose.

Day 1658

<alarming poop noise>

Do not pass go. Do not finish watching show. We are hosing down the End Times.

Day 1657

Finished the Colonel's baby blanket 17 days after he was born and only five days after his due date.

It's official: crocheting is amazing.

Day 1656

Lizard manners: if she doesn't know your name, she'll call you "Kid" when she's making her demands.

Day 1655

Your husband might be a crazy person if he has attempted to determine your two week kid's preferred time signatures for being burped.

Or he might be a music person.

Probably the first one.

Day 1654

Second babies are vastly more portable than first babies.

Day 1653

I discovered outside (still) exists. It's kinda nice!

Day 1652

In which I learned, to my great relief, that I am capable of taking care of two kids at once.

Day 1651

And now it's time to find out if we can manage with two sets of adult hands...

Day 1650

Ermagherd. We have a baby who is capable of sleeping in a bassinet.

Also a toddler who likes making whale noises so she can sing along with her sleep sheep...

Day 1649

If video calls with relatives were used to determine future careers, Lizard would be headed towards being either a librarian or a Blair Witch-style videographer.

...time to go buy more books.

Day 1648

We found the magic spot for huffing that sweet, sweet new baby smell and NOW WE'RE COOKING!

Day 1647 (belated)

Apparently you use dinosaur knives to feed dinosaurs yogurt.

Day 1646

Today on Well, Duh!, houses are much quieter without toddlers.

Day 1645

Looking at baby pictures of Lizard confirms my suspicion that we managed to clone my clone.

Day 1644

its time to play... All Of Your Babies Are Crying!!

Day 1643

Daytime Lizard is a different animal than nighttime Lizard, and it's fun getting to hang out with her more.

Day 1642

After months of trying to teach Lizard to pet the dog gently, now we have to convince her to pet her brother even more gently.

Day 1641

The family is all home! Lizard has announced she likes Charlie, started bringing him toys to play with, and gave him a good night kiss. She seems to be on board.

Day 1640

Introducing Charlie as himself...

Day 1639 (Belated)

Slow motion repeated exploration of hospital hallways is exactly as much fun as it sounds.

Day 1638

If you want a helpful distraction from impending baby, I strongly recommend basement flooding. I promise, you will hardly have time to think about babies at all.

Day 1637

And now Lizard and Pony can duke it out for Grandma's affections.

Day 1636

Flooded basements are contraindicated. Someone forgot to tell my basement.

Day 1635

Achievement Unlocked: getting scheduled for induction instead of getting sent to the hospital because of exploding blood pressure.

Day 1634

Goodbye work, hellooooooooo sweatpants and t-shirts!

Day 1633

A handy thing about having a toddler: it's easy to find a stuffy of the appropriate size so you can practice using a baby wrap.

Day 1632

You might be really overtired if you get the giggles when you close your eyes really hard. Or you might be two.

If you're an overtired two year old, it's the gift that keeps on giving.

Day 1631

Lizard is using her fancy new full sentence powers to sass and/or boss around her parents.

It begins.

Day 1630

The Lizard checks out the potential of the bassinet as a bunk bed and helps with prep for muffins. It begins!

Day 1629

Apparently if you're two and excited, jumping is mandatory.

Day 1628

More full sentences! "This is hard, Mommy." "I was running!"

And of course, irrepressible enthusiasm for grocery shopping.

Day 1627

Having a toddler in the house makes you realize what phrases you say often. Lizard has started announcing when she is "doing good job".

Also, full grammatical sentences: "This is my knife."

Day 1625 (belated)

Is it asking for trouble to encourage your kid to "make toast" when they use a pretend knife to take pretend peanut butter out of a pretend peanut butter jar and then spread it on the actual carpet?

Day 1626

Jury duty summons; the spectre of mumps; and a fire not a drill drill from the 15th floor. It's been a rough 24 hours for an überprego.

Day 1624

Rearranged the mess in the house to accommodate the incoming baby.

Gave Lizard all of the feelings by putting my face in the way of the bucket she was swinging around.

Reached an impasse over whether her table should be in the kitchen or not so she could colour. Bribed her to the table with milk and arrowroots; never did get to take the colouring book out again.

Day 1623

Lizard has officially switched to a big Lizard bed. So we can start taking bets now:

How long until we find her sleeping in her tent?

How long until we find her sleeping in the big chair?

How long until we find her sleeping with all the stuffies?

How long until we find her sleeping with all the blankets?

Day 1622

I can't imagine being pregnant and not being able to pick up and snuggle your first born. Thank goodness for Lizard's tiny genes.

Day 1621

Some days just don't go according to plan. For those days, there is pie. Or tacos and the promise of future pie.

Day 1620

Sat in a coffee shop and read a book for half an hour. I can't remember the last time that happened.

Day 1619

How does an unscripted two year old even get a catchphrase? How does that even happen?!

Boink!

Day 1618

Well, she's starting to use 'me' instead of just referring to herself in the third person or as 'it'.

"Mommy, pick it up - me!" is not quite what i had in mind, but...

Day 1617

Daddy Vs Daughter: she got three or four "one last story"s. I don't think he really minded.

Day 1616

I was a little concerned about how much money we might spend at IKEA given nesting... but then Lizard wouldn't actually let us stop to look at anything (get up! Keep walking! Keep walking!")

... until of course we got to the kid's beds. I think she would have been willing to stay there forever.

So that's where we spent all our money.

Day 1615

Turns out Lizard will happily spend as much time as her parents in a bookstore. We're all DOOMED.

Day 1614

This morning Lizard iced her doll's bonk (with a plastic leaf). This afternoon she clipped her polar bear's nails (with a wooden block). Imagination crossed with caretaking is adorable.

Day 1613

It is absolutely incredible when you can see an improvement in sentence-building from one day to the next.

Day 1612

Sometimes you're really happy that your kid picked up something you said, like "uh oh spaghetti O's" (uh oh bettios). Other times it's probably really good that they didn't; we don't really need our daughter telling people that Pumpernickel means fart-goblin.









Yet.

Day 1611

Lizard got to try some Icelandic doughnuts last night (kleinur) and loved them. Oddly, she decided they're called broccolini (also featured last night), and she's been asking to eat broccolini all day...

Day 1610

Lizard has started doing a muppet waggle. I am 100% on board with this.

Day 1609

So are you just entitled to receive a marketing degree after a given period of time parenting? I feel like I'm getting pretty adept at re-branding things to be palatable for my daughter.

Day 1608

Two kicktastic babies; two contrary babies. Luckily I like how Lizard has turned out so far, or I might be getting very concerned...

Day 1607

Very proud of my little girl for eating spaghetti, and being fairly tidy about it. Secretly a little bit sad to have missed the spaghetti face photo op.

Day 1606

Why don't people tell you that having a toddler can be really frustrating?

Day 1605

When Lizard first started learning to walk, she wanted to walk everywhere - even if it meant falling on her face. Now that she's mastered walking, she's really excited about being carried places. Just in time for me to have to try to balance her on/around prego belly.

Day 1604

1. That thing where you kid walks into the room with a box of shoes and announces she made pancakes and you're a little concerned you're gonna have to pretend to eat a shoe.

2. Eating together is magic. Lizard asked for salad and then actually ATE some of it. (To be fair, she mostly ate raisins)

Day 1603

Lizard discovers kicking her bed instead of sleeping; my subconscious worries about Barry Manilow.

Day 1602

Apparently the most exciting thing we've ever bought for Lizard is a couch.

Day 1601

Some days you just want the baby out. Other days you're so very glad that it can incubate a little longer.

Day 1600

Never go up against the Lizard when jammies are on the line.

Day 1599

Realized Teeny No-Naps had fallen asleep in the car on the way home when she started snoring.

We get home, and she wants to play.

But actually wants Mommy's help with stuff.

(Hint: that's how I know you're still exhausted)

Day 1598

Parenting: hard lessons in changing the things you can, accepting the things you can't... and hopefully being able to tell the difference before a total meltdown.

Day 1597

If you had a bad day, sit on the floor and play with your kid. It makes life better.

Day 1596

Three things about Lizard:

1. Cries when you don't let her dunk her sleeves in her soup.

2. Slowly expanding the repertoire of songs she wants to listen to over and over forever.

3. Lies in bed quietly contemplating the universe after she wakes up. And then... starts clapping?

Day 1595

It feels kinda awkward when people give me compliments, but boy do I ever love hearing compliments about my kid. 

Although I'm still not really sure what the best response is when people say she's cute...

Day 1594

Sometimes you just have to be the middle of a family snuggle sandwich before you can go to sleep.

Or so I am led to believe.

Day 1593

It turns out having the family eat with the picky eater and giving everyone the same food is magical advice. I feel like we should have done this ages ago...

Day 1592

I might be more entertained that Lizard thinks "get poopies out" means peering than I am proud of her for asking to go on the potty and then immediately peeing.

And I'm pretty frigging proud of her.

Day 1591

Dear Lizard,

After your fifteen reminders, I am happy to report that grapes will definitely be part of your dinner.

What I want to know is - other than grapes, which are a given- what do you want for dinner?

(Don't say grapes don't say grapes don't say grapes)

Love,

Your maternal  grape-provider

Day 1590

Operation Eat Like A Family At Least Some Of The Time: so far, success!

It's nice setting reasonable expectations.

Day 1589

Poor Bertram. Lizard has decided that he ought to cuddle with her too. And she's just a little determined...

Days 1588 (belated)

We now have a teeny skier in the house! I don't think her daddy could manage to hold much more pride; it was already bursting out a little.

Day 1587

Lizard had her first bad dream that required parental reassurance last night.

As she said, "it's scary out".

Days 1584, 1585, and 1586

Letting Lizard stay up a little late so she can see her daddy when he comes home = totally worth it.

Lizard slept in a big girl bed at daycare and didn't come home with a full face bruise. Time to re-arrange her room...

First day home by myself since before Lizard was born. It involved lots of dozing and nose-blowing. It was also very quiet.

Day 1583

Turns out if you aren't doing a good enough job cuddling with the Lizard by putting your arm around her while she eats, she'll put her arm around you instead.

Day 1582

Lizard feels strongly that she and the dog should be treated the same. As a result, he isn't allowed to be on the stairs by himself anymore, and if he gets a haircut, she needs one too!

Day 1581

Our Lizard saves up all of her feels for when she is sick.

Day 1580

The strings of disjointed phrases that make up Lizard's sentences are getting longer and longer; I'm looking forward to hearing some tiny haikus!

Day 1579

First blood spilled from babies colliding. I suspect it will not be the last time.

Day 1578

You can lead a toddler to lasagna, but you can't make them eat.

Day 1577

If I were a better photographer, I would do a whole series of Things in Unexpected Places, as inspired by my life with a toddler.

Day 1576

We've created a teeny winter clothes cop. Lizard checks to make sure her parents are wearing coats, hats, gloves and boots before going outside. And gosh darn it, she's going to make sure we keep wearing them!

Day 1575

I know Lizard did cute and memorable things this morning, but all I can think of is that she just wanted to cuddle and hear stories once she got up from her nap.

Day 1574

A two year old comes jam-packed with a surprising amount of feelings.

Day 1573

Nobody will ever believe us that our kid goes totally frigging bonkers when she's overtired.

Day 1572

It's official: we've hit the "I do it" stage.

Day 1571 (belated)

Lizard is showing off her song repertoire. Now playing: "dinky dinky dinky, I love you".

She'll also call out what verse of the wheels on the bus she wants next.

Day 1570

First Lizard would tell us that her stuffies were sleepy. Then she'd say it was time to go upstairs. Then she's say she was sleepy. Then she started giving warnings that she should go to bed soon. I'm excited for when we take one side of her crib off, cause it seems like the next step is putting herself to bed.

Day 1569

I appreciate the bonus cuddling and all, but could we maybe try cuddling while reading books or something? Mealtimes are not *exactly* ideal cuddle times...

Day 1568 (Belated)

The Lizard is obsessed with groceries. We get into the car and she wants to know if we're getting groceries. She loves putting away groceries. And for the first time ever, she managed to sneak something into the cart and get it all the way up to the checkout before we noticed.

It was a silicone baking sheet.

So... she's definitely ours.

Day 1567

Achievement unlocked: long nap at the grandparents' house with a pile of dogs on site.

It's a whoooooole neeeeeewwwww woooorld... shining, shimmering, splendid!

Day 1566

I am absurdly proud that my Lizard didn't cry for her flu shots. I just love hearing from people who deal with kids that my kid is great. Damn straight!

Day 1565

Contender for best serenade: my two year old in the backseat singing "Baby Buga" over and over forever.

Day 1564

Another reason people used to have so many kids: they're a wonderful balm for a grieving heart.

Day 1563

Yes, Lizard, Christmas is okay. No, we didn't put Christmas in the basement. It's just that Christmas is over. It will be back next year.

Day 1562

Being a parent gives you a lot of really weird firsts. Like the first time you brush someone's teeth while they are on a bicycle.

Day 1561

Before passing Lizard markers and some blank paper, I had no idea how many shapes and colours batman came in.