Sunday, January 30, 2022

Day 3414

 Time for the ruthless completion of chores and resumption of exercise. Boo-ya!

Saturday, January 29, 2022

Thursday, January 27, 2022

Day 3411

 Banana swapped out my chair for hers while we were distracted and has been crowing at every meal that she’s sitting in my chair. 

Once again, this baby makes her own choices about when it’s time to grow up.

Wednesday, January 26, 2022

Day 3410

Banana: 
stays up late
bickers about toys
gets sad that markers can’t be used by other people
cries because she wants the markers further away from her, no matter which ones they see and how many times you swap them
needs you to carry her to walk in sertles 
needs you to sit on your lap for a meeting you don’t have scheduled
is inconsolably sad because I wouldn’t take her outside in slippers and a sunhat to shovel snow
tries to have a hunger strike because we didn’t make noodles
stays up late

But in between bestows smiles and snuggles and silliness until we don’t really mind. Curse you and your wildly effective cute wiles!

Tuesday, January 25, 2022

Day 3409

 To cure bickering, try videos on how instruments are made or scishow. Be prepared to hear demands to watch scishow forever after.

But at least the bickering stopped.

Monday, January 24, 2022

Day 3408

 It’s beginning to feel like the endless isolation and the endless snow will conspire to keep us here until the windows and doors are covered. We just have to keep shovelling and shovelling, stacking snowbanks on snowbanks.

Sunday, January 23, 2022

Day 3407

 We are ‘design your coat of arms’ days into our two year intermittent isolation.

Saturday, January 22, 2022

Day 3406

 Lie on the floor. Moan a little. Wonder how long we have to wait until the kids can make dinner. Give up and order pizza.

Friday, January 21, 2022

Day 3405

If your goal is to go to bed once the kids are asleep, guaranteed they will decide to stay up late. 

Thursday, January 20, 2022

Day 3404

The universe really needs to get over absurdist theatre. 

Nobody likes it as much as you think they do. 

Wednesday, January 19, 2022

Day 3403

 You’re probably raising your kids right when the eldest starts coming up with ideas to trick her siblings into eating. Yup, it’s definitely pirate stew (for me and you).

Tuesday, January 18, 2022

Day 3402

 Poor little Banana, who couldn’t sleep because she hadn’t had her fruit at lunch and because she had concerns about people being mean in the book we read hours earlier. 

Monday, January 17, 2022

Day 3401

 Every once in a while I am struck by how much of our wordiness the kids pick up. Like when the four year old says to the two year old “this is not a conversation we need to have right now!” 

(He was right; it was time for sleeping)

Sunday, January 16, 2022

Friday, January 14, 2022

Thursday, January 13, 2022

Day 3397

 It will probably never cease to amuse me that our kids usually interpret ‘where did you hurt yourself?’ to be a question about where they were when it happened. Unless of course they just ran in yelling that they hurt their arm, in which case ‘where’ always refers to the body part already mentioned. 

Where did you hurt yourself?

In the living room. 

Where on your body are you hurt?

The floor.

Wednesday, January 12, 2022

Day 3396

 You know you’re reading a good book when it makes you exclaim loudly even though you’re on quiet mode because the children are sleeping…

Tuesday, January 11, 2022

Day 3395

 Who needs initiative when your productivity is driven entirely by compulsions and a good ol’ G&S sense of duty.

Monday, January 10, 2022

Day 3394

 Remote learning starts and the support network of parents with young students lights up again

Sunday, January 9, 2022

Day 3393

 If life insists on continuing to give you lemons, spend it with someone who decides to learn to make cocktails.

Saturday, January 8, 2022

Day 3392

You take the big kids on a walk and they want to see little free libraries. You take Banana on a walk and she’s like “TREES! NOTHER TREE!! MORE TREEES!!” 

And then sometimes she demands to be carried because snow is too slippery. And then she demands to walk.

Day 3391

 She’s not opinionated, she’s Banana(s).

Thursday, January 6, 2022

Day 3390

Dear Dishwasher, 

I love you [good night, sweet dreams].

Best wishes,

Handwasher

Wednesday, January 5, 2022

Day 3389

 Banana truly has a gift for grumpy rhetoric. “I throw your kiss in the garbage!” is an absolute classic. 

Tuesday, January 4, 2022

Day 3388

 That feeling when it turns out that you bought loose tea that isn’t loose leaf tea…

Monday, January 3, 2022

Day 3387

 Our Banana is very intent on being big; asking to sit at the kid end of the table and for a kid cup. And then you ask her if she’s big, and she says yes but then thinks of her sister and says “actually, I’m little.”

Sunday, January 2, 2022

Day 3386

It would help if recipes with bad/weird/dumb method consistently resulted in food that tastes bad.

Day 3385

 It is very important that little Banana gets a chance to say “Good night, I love you, sweet dreams”.

Saturday, January 1, 2022

Day 3384

 Fancy dinner to ring out one raging dumpster fire of a year.