Day 372

Yup.

It sucks when Husband and I are sick at the same time. Definitely going to bed early again. If I get enough sleep, this will just go away, right?

Marriage: Third Quarter

Day 182: More open houses! And Husband's last ski of the season, which means I get him back on Sunday mornings.

Day 183: Made chicken blobs filled with green blobs for dinner, and then got Neil to look at pictures of Lee Pace with me. For science.

Day 184: Husband blotted the cucumber before he put it on the sandwich he made me for lunch so that I wouldn't have to eat a soggy sandwich. That is all.

Day 185: It's always weird to have that sudden shocking realization that you're one of the grownups. And then you sit around and play paintball perfect dark and feel much better.

Day 186: I was thinking that it's too bad that I can't remember all of the things we say and do to make each other laugh every day. And then I realized: Husband makes me laugh, even in the morning. I think that says enough.

Day 187: I would make a terrible husband. I absolutely did not notice that Husband got his haircut... Tuesday. It got pointed out to me when I mentioned that he needed one

Day 188: Husband pointed out that today was brought to us by the letter B. Baking, buddies and brunch, baking, beef and broccoli bake, buddies and beer and bowling...and now, at last, bed!

Day 189: Lovely dinner with family and friend-family. Birthday Cake = Success!

Day 190: Had a lovely end to an extra weekend; Husband and I slept in, played video games, watched some TV, made amazing dinner, did some tidying, and made up The To Do List of Doom and More Doom. I already feel accomplished!

Day 191: Checked two things off The To Do List of Doom and More Doom. Still ignoring the steadily growing pile of laundry. If anyone hears about a sentient laundry monster terrorizing Winnipeg, it is probably our fault.

Day 192: Grumpy cat solved, and the Dunce Dance invented. 

Achievement Unlocked: Dancing Queen: 100 unique, highly specific, and mostly bizarre dances created!

Day 193: Going to bed early(ish) so Husband doesn't have to call in dead and/or five-toed sloth tomorrow.

Day 194: We desperately needed to do laundry and had thawed chicken in the fridge that needed using up. Solution? DATE NIGHT!!!

Day 194 Bonus Edition: The Human Anglerfish Experiment has failed. Apparently biting your Husband's side and never letting go is not a great way to be inseparable.

Day 195: Cleaning Rampage is Super Effective! And made Husband almost pee himself!

Day 196: To demonstrate to Husband what a myoclonic jerk he sometimes is, I followed him around the house spastically kicking him and flailing my arms at him until he was bent over double because his abs hurt from laughing so hard. I'm not sure that it actually helped him empathize with me.

Day 197: Husband made dinner because Wife decided her firearms were too dainty for chopping. Husbands. Good god, y'all. That's what they're good for.

Day 198: Before Husband went off to bridge, there was the pew pew and the om nom. Life is as it should be.

Day 199: That thing where suddenly you are those people sitting in the comfy chairs at the bank, waiting for your appointment.

Day 200: Finally remembered to bring the coupon for free pudding to the store. Was given another coupon... For free pudding. I hope Husband realizes that is now pretty much my meal plan for the next couple days.

Day 201: Ran one million errands. Finally got home, and I loaded up on stuff so Husband could open the door (division of labour by talents: Husband is good at keeping his keys accessible and opening the door to the building one-handed; I am good at carrying a bunch of stuff at once). He looks at me and says "So I married a Sherpa..."

Day 202: Wine and food and friend-family.

Day 203: Because who needs sleep when you can have tension headaches? Thank heavens for Husbands who rub temples and encourage naps.

Day 204: Thinking of Boston.

Day 205: Went to gym. Do not appear to have died. Will have to check again tomorrow.

Day 206: In which alarming culinary decisions were made, and it was determined that one should not watch Hannibal right before bed or while eating.

Day 207: Rowing at the gym, getting confused by ellipticals, friends, food with friends, and then trying to pry husband away from Commander Hadfield videos long enough to get some sleep. Goodnight ISS!

Day 208: French braided my own hair for the first time. Husband is going to start thinking I'm some sort of girl or something.

Day 209: New jeans, Baconalia, and a terrible, terrible movie. Says Husband: "They could have made a trilogy; instead they made a travesty.”

Day 210: Went to a book sale with Husband. I am concerned that if we move into a larger space, we won't have enough books to properly fill the space. Problem solved!

Day 211: It is lovely being married to someone who, when they come into the kitchen and find you doing a stupid little dance, will join in for your stupid little dance party.

Day 212: Another evening's plans foiled by the internets. Curses.

Day 213: Husband suggested we eat ice cream instead of quinoa. It was super effective.

Day 214: "Wait a second — that's not a taco!" -Me

Pretty sure Husband is going to be repeating that for a while. And I didn't even have the excuse of it being morning.

Day 215: I have an amazing Husband. That is all.

Day 216: Because after getting home from hanging out with friends on a Saturday night is as good a time as any for a cleaning rampage.

Day 217: Told Husband not to put gummy Mario on the couch, since they feel a little greasy. So he moved it to a safe place...the top of his head.

Day 218: Husband stayed home sick, but still got up to make me breakfast and lunch. And then I got to work on time all by myself! ...That makes us equally good people, right?

Day 219: When your Husband refers to the internet as your boyfriend, it might be time to tone it down for a while. In other news, 8:30 bedtime. If anyone wakes me/us up, it is possible they will get murdered. Fair warning.

Day 220: Taking a vow of no doorknob-licking.

Day 221: The problem with good books is that sometimes you have to not read them.

Day 222: The trouble with Husband and I not actually being the same person is that he can stay home sick and sleep all day and I am still tired. It would be much more helpful if I could borrow his naps.

Day 223: First G&T of the year. Happy Summer, Bitches!

Day 224: Some people get excited by nice weather and decide to BBQ. Husband and I crack out the dutch oven to make a stew.

Day 225: So it turns out it is very hard to stay cranky when you are pretending to be a crab. I even got Husband to do it to prove my point. Yup. Definitely purely for science.

Day 226: ACHNABOBANE!

Day 227: Had one of those ragey days where everything is going wrong. Darling Husband not only puts up with me, but he makes me laugh. And smile. And relaaaaaax.

Day 228: Lovely Husband reminded me that I feel too crappy to bake for a work thing tomorrow, and took me to the store instead... so that I could glare at bags of cookies until he made a decision for me.

Day 229: On the plus side, this might be the longest Husband has gone without crippling one of his legs since we moved in together. Sooo.... Progress?

Day 230: Being allergic to eggs is an excellent excuse for making broken omelettes. On a totally unrelated note, I am loading up on brownie points for being a good wife while Husband is a crapple.

Day 231: It's nice being married to someone with the same demented sense of humour.

Day 232: It is somewhat humbling to realize that while I have trouble getting out of the house when I want to in the morning, the astronauts leaving the ISS can undock exactly on schedule and land on earth within a minute of the target time. Maybe is Husband brought me even more coffee...

Day 233: Kitchen Dance Party!! 

And/or, How To Entertain Yourselves While Your Leftovers are in the Microwave.

Day 234: Thinking healing thoughts for a sick little boy. You should too.

Day 235: Friends! And Games! And the Ice Pack Method for cooling down for bed! And Vicarious Excitement! And Exclamation Marks for EVERYBODY!!!

Day 236: Husband was surprised about there being no other cars in our parking lot until I reminded him that some people like going out on Friday nights.

Day 237: I forgot how much I enjoy road trips with Husband.

Day 238: Went to a bookstore; did not buy books. If I was someone other than me, I would have to assume that I was a pod person.

Day 239: The delight of coming home and sleeping in your own bed. Also: had the chance to swim in a lake the first day it was free of ice. Did not take it. Husband probably would have tied me down if I had suggested it...

Day 240: Husband and I are bad at ice cream but good at internetting all of the things. Another evening bites the dust.

Day 241: Everyone should be pleased to learn that I didn't make Husband get up to bring me coffee on his birthday. I made the coffee, and I didn't screw it up - even though it was morning! Carol: 1. Mornings: 5,629.

Day 242: Happy that Friend's Day is back in effect.

Day 243: Friend Day continues! Now with more cheesy goodness!

Day 244: Learning that having an keen eye to detail is not always a good thing. This life lesson brought to you by the letter F.

Day 245: Husband won't let me make a Red Kidney Bean Angel Food Cake, despite the fact that the instructions on the bag of beans say to enjoy them in your favourite recipe. Clearly he is either a rule-breaker or a party-pooper.

Day 246: The Powers That Are Me decided that chili, banana chocolate chip cookies, and cucumber slices would make an excellent dinner. I was right!

Also: Had the opportunity to cool chili on the windowsill. Started giggling uncontrollably. Husband knew it was because of hobos.

Day 247: Apparently Husband doesn't want to live in a house that is ROYGBeige. 

Also, Morning Brain has caused me to have "We're not gonna take it, No, we ain't gonna take it, We're not gonna take it... Without s'mores!" stuck in my head all day.

Day 248: Laundry Extravaganzas are most boring extravaganzas. Frankly, I am seriously considering demoting them to intravaganzas.

Day 249: If I believe hard enough that today was Friday, do I get to sleep in tomorrow? 

I'll take that as a yes.

Day 250: Saw Venus and Jupiter... And then the whole damn sky filled with Northern Lights. Had to stop and stand together, staring up in wonder.

Day 251: My happy place.

Day 252: Gardening, twins, the best italian sodas of all time, gloom, pigmania, spaghetti, cleaning, and a harrowing drive across the prairies. A lovely full day, but now it is definitely time for sleeping.

Day 253: That thing where you sit and drink strange beer and eat good food with a friend... And then merrily continue to clog their Facebook with your posts.

Day 254: Birthday shenanigans and subterfuge.

Day 255: Weird little kids are the best.

Day 256: Found a Le Creuset store. Husband and I both hit schoolgirl levels of gushing excitement pretty much immediately.

Day 257: It's always nice to find even more reasons to smile.

Day 258: Moving to Regina to be able to eat at a particular restaurant is totally reasonable ... Right?

Day 259: That thing where you come home from vacation and get to sleep in your own b- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Day 260: BDI and leisurely strolls; impromptu dates are sometimes the best dates.

Day 261: Husband is heading out of town for a few days. So think just, lawyerly thoughts towards Saskatoon for him... And if you haven't heard from me in a while, send help. It could mean I've had a morning-related accident.

Day 262: It is amazing how big a difference there is between a day of only seeing Husband a little bit, and a day of not seeing Husband at all. (coffee fairy sightings obviously don't count)

Day 263: You only realize how much time you spend thinking about and talking to someone when they are far away. Husband, come home! There are approximately one hypobazillion tiny little things that I want to tell you.

Day 264: Thank goodness Husband is coming home tomorrow. If current trends continued, I'm pretty sure I'd manage to set myself on fire with tweezers and a paper towel by Tuesday.

Day 265: Husband is home. Wife is happy. Dinner with friends and family and wine makes her even happier.

Day 266: Learned two important things today. 1. Don't leave the house while the marathon is on. 2. Father's Day Hobbit Tea is awesome.

Day 267 (belated): Literally driving in circles and not getting anywhere near enough naps at work.

Day 268: Yelling at my textbook is our new couple hobby.

Day 269: Not only do we finish each other's sentences, but we also sometimes just say the same thing at the same time. Must be all the mind melding. With the force.

Day 270: First real Friends Day in ages. Good times and hot dogs were had by all.

Also, thinking dry thoughts at friends and family in Calgary. Whoever is doing a rain dance over there really needs to cut that shit out.

Day 271: Got home after driving around in circles and settled in for the night. Husband played Tomb Raider and I did virtual makeovers for male celebrities. Friday night: Like a boss.

Day 272: Other people's weddings are the best.

Day 273: Husband has been a real fancy-pants lawyer for two years, and my husband for nine months. Here's to a bajillion more years and months of being neither disbarred nor divorced.

Day 371

Coming home to your house is a totally different feeling than coming home to your apartment.

Also, going to bed at ten o'clock can only mean one thing: Plague.

Or you know... Being a reasonable and responsible adult.

In our case, it is obviously Plague.

Day 370

Sometimes, you just really need to have a day of sleeping in, driving around and seeing all the pretty fall colours, and reading a book.

Oh... And, you know, buying even more books.

Day 369

I've spent too much time listening to Disney songs. Husband says he's glad he doesn't have to go to court, and I immediately break into "No court, no court, la la la la la la! Idiots! There will be some court! I will have court! Stick with me, and you'll never have court again!"

And then he says he made me a sandwich, and it's "Sammiches, Sammiches, barely even human!"

It's a good thing Husband thinks I'm funny.

Day 368

I don't think I am going to be one of those parents who chastises their kid for playing with their food.

You know... Given that I taught a kid how to give a grape a mouth, and then made it talk to her. And then talked to her grape.

And yes, the conversation did end with "Well, it is time for me to be eaten now. Goodbye!"

I'm having a happy week, for no particular reason.

Day 367

Husband had to work this evening, as he has a trial tomorrow that the other side may or may not show up for. If the guy doesn't show up, it will be the second time this week that Husband has prepped for a trial that didn't actually happen. Which, you know... fun times.

So anyway, I have been busy watching TV and getting lost on the internet, and totally forgetting that run that I had decided I HAD to go on. ARGH. Trying to get back on track with this whole Couch to 5K thing is not going smoothly at all.

Anyway, this is one of the random things I found on the internet. I wish that this could happen in Canada, but I fear we could not properly enter into the spirit of the thing.

Also, if you enjoyed that, try this.

You're welcome.

Day 366

Sometimes, when Husband is overworked and cranky and tired and not feeling well, he starts getting concerned that he is not a good husband. That if he has to work late, or work after he comes home, that he is not fulfilling his husbandly duties by keeping me entertained - or something.

So I gave him this little speech about how one of the nice things about marriage is that we work as a partnership, and one of us can take care of things while the other is working or being sick or whatever. And pointed out that he does this for me all the time (i.e. every morning, when I lose all ability to think and manipulate objects).

So while he was working, I made dinner.

Result: High on taste, low on technique.

One of the downsides to having spent so much time cooking with Husband... I'm seriously out of practice for the stuff that is generally his job. No wonder I always make tacos when he is out of town....

Marriage: Second Quarter

Day 91: Things I learned today:
-Husbands are sometimes as bad at waking up as their Wives, and you should not glare at them really hard to try to make their heads explode for that.
-Bath and Bodyworks hand soaps will freeze if you leave them in the car for several hours.
-People haven't (yet) started to hate us even though we are really bad at thank you cards.
-Butterflying a goose is hard. Getting all up in its spinal space is weird. 
-If you are a weirdo and you marry a weirdo, there is a good chance that most of your wedding pictures will involve one or the other of you making silly faces. Luckily, if you are both weirdos you will think this is awesome.
-If you are a weirdo and you marry a weirdo, you may just be able to convince your Husband to do a Track Santa Dance because you are excited that it is almost time for NORAD to tell you that Santa is in your town RIGHT. NOW.

Day 92: Christmas sleeping in, Cheistmas Buffy, Christmas grilled cheese, Christmas tidying the coffee table, Christmas wrapping, Christmas grocery shopping, Christmas music, Christmas goose, Christmas presents, Christmas Walking Dead, and Christmas tracking Santa with NORAD

Day 93: Our first Christmas as Husband & Wife = Huge Success. Merry Christmas everyone; we hope you had a day of fun and good eats in the company of friends and family. We love you all!

Day 94: Now the proud owner of the first (and likely only) book about our marriage. I would feel like some kind of fancy famous person if I hadn't cut my finger on sugar today. I think fancy famous people probably have people to handle their sharp sugars for them.

Day 95: When you need five blankets and hot tea to be not cold, you might have caught your Husband's plague.

Day 96: Took my first full sick day since starting at Wawanesa 16 months ago. Now Husband and I get to make pathetic attempts to take care of each other when we both get tired after standing for a couple minutes at a time. Wish us luck!

Day 97: I was not aware that this level of sore was possible without serious bodily harm. Quarantine continues.

Day 98: Synchronized coughing. It's coming, people. And Husband and I have been practicing.

Day 99: We made it! I don't know how you guys celebrate, but we had germ-filled smooches and then dropped a glass on the floor... So the first few minutes of 2013 were spent fulfilling a joint resolution: keep the apartment tidier.

Day 100: Our hundredth day of marriage was a huge success; I put on pants (not pajamas! Okay, they were yoga pants... But still, no flannel is a big step, right?), watched a bunch of Buffy, and drank scotch while playing Lego LotR.

Day 101: Disappointingly lacking in Dalmatians. Went to work. As soon as I pile a bunch more stuff on my Kobo (to avoid a repeat of today's noon-time horror: no battery phone, no battery e-reader, and no book), I am going to bed. In the meantime, I am giving thanks for a Husband for fetching me dinner and lozenges.

Day 102: Omnipresent tension headache due to coughing and nose-blowing. That is all.

Day 103: Actually had enough energy to make real dinner, and so obviously went slightly overboard. Also, Husband rubbed my temples, so I am much less of a Crankasaurus Rex than yesterday.

Day 104: I love it when Husband pauses zero punctuation so he can fall over laughing. I do not like it when Husband says he chops faster than me. For serious, I am the chopping queen.

Day 105: Things I have learned:
-Self-administered quarantine is lame.
-Kids are hilarious.
-Teabagging your Husband (with teabags) is a lot of fun.
-My lungs like the same environment fungus does: cool and moist.
-Husband and I are regaining our powers of making delicious dinner.
-Finally, Husband is drinking Scotch and working on tricksy tax law things, and I am drinking German liqueur and reading my stats book... And somehow it is kind of nice. 

... Maybe someone should check for fever?

Day 106: Either Husband doesn't understand the concept of positive reinforcement, or he is training me to destroy his nemeses.

Day 107: One of the examples in stats class today was about the number of hours billed to clients by five partners at a law firm in a given week. I just caught myself preparing to calculate how many standard deviations Husband is from the mean.

Day 108: Licked the pan. Husband is going to have to make this sauce every day forever.

Day 109: Sat on a baby, played with friends, played Spaceteam by myself, ate tacos, didn't eat pie, gained girl guide cookies, drank scotch, took down the Christmas tree, glared at my stats book, and am going to bed while Husband finishes working on his cross-examination. Not bad for a pair of plague survivors.

Day 110: Husband is a little too adept at hibernating. Time to wake him up so we can go to bed.

Day Eleventy-One: Meeting at the bank, reorganization of the office, two hour phone conversation, finnan haddie with crazy good brussel sprouts, opening of Christmas gifts from my brother, including a pregnancy recipe book (source of brussel sprout recipe). Turns out Husband and I already eat like a pair of pregnant ladies.

Day Eleventy-One (Addendum): No prego.

Day 112: Had one of those delightful weekends that was very productive.. but also involved lots of sitting around playing video games and relaxing. Now if only Husband's asthma hadn't decided it was allergic to the cold...

Day 113: Husband realized this morning that he will have to be the person in charge of getting future kids (still no prego) to school etc in the morning. Actually, he said that he is going to have to be the mean one in the morning. I pointed out that I will still be cranky as shit in the morning, and he can just sic them on me if they are being obnoxious. "Do you really want me to have to get Morning Mom?". In other news, apparently the only thing that makes me more cranky than mornings is stats quizzes.

Day 114: Realizing how apt the terms 'web' and 'net' are. Productivity: 0. Internet: 9001.

Day 115: Apparently I have hit that age where you suddenly feel compelled to wash everything when you have someone coming over for dinner. Balls.

Day 116 (Astonishingly Early): I have had my hair down for two hours. I suggested to Husband that I could just not bring a hair elastic to work today, thereby forcing myself to leave it down today. He told me to bring one; I said "What, so I don't murder everyone?". "Pretty much, yup." Good to know my Husband thinks my sanity is dependent on a little elastic band.

Day 117: Invented a new super hero alter ego: Captain Naptime. Husband was unimpressed when I tried to tell him that it could clearly not be shower time.... As obviously Captain Naptime should have been napping heroically.

Also, teeny tiny snowmen:

Day 118: Went for dinner at friends' house and came home with more booze than we left with. By a lot. And I don't just mean in my belly.

Day 119: Had someone over for the first time since the wedding. Had chili and biscuits and gingerbread cake with apples and caramel sauce (all in fancy dishes!) and champagne and watched SNL and the How it's Made of the food world... And also got to see hoary husband on CBC. This is how all weekends should end.

Day 120: Sometimes you just need brownies and tv shows about baby animals and sliding around on hardwood in socks to make Mondays better.

Day 121: Since Husband made someone cry (in a professional capacity) today, we had butter chicken pizza, and butter chicken poutine, and other pizza that was not Hawaiian but had pineapple on it for dinner... And also Cherry Krakens. And the people rejoiced.

Day 122: It is nice to know that I am worth many goats.

Day 123: Introducing kids to good music is pretty sweet. Having a kid walk up to your Husband and say "Neil, play Bust Your Kneecaps please" is totally amazeballs.

Day 124: Buffy, stats, and Mr Feynman. Cause that's how all the cool kids rock a Friday night.

Day 125: Passport photos = check. Many Buffys = check. Scotch = check. Saturday = Win.

Day 126: Husband brings me hot packs for my spine, and nearly makes me fall over laughing when he fumbles his toothbrush while we are (each) standing on one foot (on stilts).

Day 127: Becoming close friends with our giant hot pack of doom. Husband made dinner things and sat on a tiny little corner of couch so that I could stretch out. And then told me that I was allowed to go to bed instead of working on my stats quiz, which perversely made me stay up a little longer working on my stats quiz.

Day 128: Finished stats quiz. Was excited about going to bed early... and then Husband and I got distracted looking at a menu for an Icelandic hotel... and then we started playing with google translate to try to break some of the compound words down... and then I started showing Husband Ido and Esperanto on Wikipedia so he could make a determination on which is better.... and now we are never going to go to bed. Bollocks.

Day 129: Husband is now in the habit of calling me Captain Naptime every morning. To return the favour, I invented an alter ego for him: Corporal Showertime. He objected to that one, so I settled on Private Showertime instead.

Day 130: Husband continues to call me by my maiden name. Apparently he is the only person who hasn't gotten used to us being married yet.

Day 131: While playing Cards Against Humanity, Husband kept picking other people's cards... and would then turn to me to (correctly) guess which card I had put in. This might be why Rando Cardrissian beat me.

Day 132: Husband and I are now the proud owners (sporters?) of fancy hair for fancy people. Also, spring rolls and coffee for breakfast FTW.

Day 133: When my Mom says Husband and I deserve each other, I suspect she means days like today. In the past hour, we have been singing Lion King songs at each other, holding our salad tongs up to our heads like moose antlers... and when Husband kept starting the dishwasher and I kept stopping it when I found more dirty dishes to put in, he told me I need to respect his "Authoritah".

 

Day 134: And this is why I married Husband. Also, because if I finish my readings early enough, we're going to go make snowmen!

Day 135: Tonight we played Assassin's Creed Vs Statistics. Stats lost. We also joined the Fajitas & Friends Club.

Day 136: Got home from picking stuff up from the post office to find a delivery notice from Canada Post. For a totally different package. Luckily, Husband and I love driving around the city during rush hour listening to WOTE and conversing. </no sarcasm>

Day 137: That thing where you are getting ready for bed on autopilot and then abruptly realize that your autopilot is terribly broken because you were about to use toothpaste to take your eye makeup off. It might actually be a miracle that I managed to keep myself alive before Husband started taking care of me...

Day 138: Husband got distracted talking to his boss while I was waiting in the car, thereby turning me into a wifecicle. As a consequence, he was forced to submit to the dreaded Spine Penance: I get to stick my cold feet on his warm spine until they thaw out. Sooooo gooood....

Day 139: Sometimes encouraging other people's birthday fun and frolics is awesome. Got to play with a ridiculously fantastic one year old, made a vat of peanut sauce stirfry, and then sat around drinking wine and watching videos on the YouTube. This might be the plan for my next birthday...

Day 140: You know your Husband is awesome when he's been feeling ill all evening and he still gets up to make you tea when you get frustrated and upset about silly little things.

Day 141: This evening (whilst making the bed, like adults) that I haven't needed blanked on the couch and he hasn't needed hoodies in the morning the past few days. Obviously time to turn the heat down

Day 142: Given Husband's rage at inanimate objects this morning, I suspect that I am rubbing off on him.

Day 143: Some days it's just about laughing so hard you have to sit down about silly little things. Like farts. Of surprise.

Day 144: In which Nathan Fillion pronounced me his Valentine and a three year old made me a dinosaur valentines card. Huge success.

Day 145: Husband laughed at me for getting frustrated with him for trying to kiss me...But I was trying to tell a story and the smoochy crap was interrupting. For serious.

Day 146: Husband and I celebrated making RRSP contributions by buying even more books.

Day 147: Broccoli pizza, dark & stormys, phone date with the bestie, stats, and Perfect Dark. Not bad for a Sunday night.

Day 148: Today was the first time in a long time that Husband had to work and I didn't (aside from overtime). I decided to be wifely and make muffins, and then realized after I had mixed the dry ingredients that we were out of eggs... So Husband ended up baking them with me. Wifely baking = Fail.

Day 149: Sometimes it is fun when Husband is frustrated. It means a lot of perfect dark... But not a lot of sleep.

Day *150*: Companionable silence while we're both working... Until I start doing a 'Yay Math!' Dance while making strange musicky mouth noises. Husband just laughs, rolls his eyes, and continues working.

Day 151: You know you married a good Husband when he runs all the errands for you because you decided to dump piping hot tea in your lap and your top speed is now a hobble.

Day 152 (belated): Weather = Delightful. Scotch = Amazing. Internet = Spotty. 

I told Husband we probably weren't married anymore if I didn't have a day post, and he dragged me around the place until we found a signal. Divorce Off!

Day 153: Disney sing-a-long with the Goodridges. Cause that's how we roll.

Day 154 (belated): Husband took me out on my single longest ski ever. I'm still not dead. Take that, Husband!

Day 155: Very happy to be home. And going to bed early.

Day 156: Even though Husband had to work late, he still let me gripe about my day over dinner... And even though he loves them, agreed that I could bring girl guide cookies to a work function tomorrow so I wouldn't have to bake something all by myself.

Day 127: Husband and I are trying to figure out how train me to take off blankets while I am sleeping when I get overwarm so that I don't die. Because apparently I don't know how anymore.

Day 158: Date night was cancelled so we could eat fajitas and watch the Daily Show (and also get some work done) (on stilts).

Day 159: Our heat is officially off. If the temperature drops, we may have to make do with tea and snuggling.

Day 160: Went for dinner and a movie. We were holding hands waiting for food to arrive (because who has time for that kind of silly shenanigans when there's food around?), and Husband started spinning *my* ring. Apparently I'm not the only one who has difficulty remembering we're not actually the same person.

Day 161: The Case of The Missing Husband is solved but not resolved. It was Husband at the office with the trial prep. I guess Wife is going to bed by herself... Le sigh.

Day 162: I think we may have different ideas about what constitutes a reasonable weekday meal than other people.

Day 163: Kidding around after your blow drying goes a little awry is all fun and games until Husband says "Nice hair, Taylor Swift".

...and then someone loses an eye

Day 164: Told Husband I forgot to put carrots in the carrot muffins. He says "Okay." He is obviously becoming too accustomed to my sense of humour. It is time to up the ante! 

Next time I will tell him I forgot the muffin in the carrot muffins. HA!

Day 165: The simple pleasure of exchanging emails with Husband at work until I have to work really hard at not giggling uncontrollably.

 

Day 166: Husband told me he wanted the carrots halved or quartered. So I cut them up and made a henge. And that's when I realized just how much of our relationship consists of trolling.

Day 167: So I've had Party Rock Anthem stuck in my head for several days (Thanks, WOTE!). Yesterday I randomly texted Husband "PARTY LLAMAS IN THE HOUUUUUSE TONIIIGHT".... And now those lyrics are what is stuck in my head. I have been singing it all day. I even made up a Party Llama Dance. Husband finally had to tell me no more llamas, that it was time for bed. And suddenly I feel like I am living in a kids book.

Day 168: Sometimes Husbands are right. He got me to help clean house and make dinner, and all of a sudden I felt like I could actually be productive, rather than sit and mope and make use of the greatest thing to ever happen to procrastination: the interwebs.

Day 169:...I had something for this!

Day 170: More good husbanding. Husband made me dinner, sat quietly in the corner and ignored me while I muttered to myself and made fart noises with my arm, listened when I ranted about the several examples of poor sentence structure in my textbook, and watched community with me when I needed a break(s). I'm not sure which of us will be more glad when this is over.

Day 171: Stats over. Let the frivolity begin!

Day 172: Failed at Pi Day. Won at Friends Day. Now with even more friends!

Day 173: it never ceases to amaze/amuse me how much cooking with Husband seems to banish grumpiness and exhaustion - for both of us. Meat pie for the epic win.

Day 174: Filed our tax returns so Husband would stop flailing about it. Discussed how I should be handicapped so that I am allowed to play bananagrams with other people. No nerds here, I swear.

Day 175: Today Husband and I determined that I am always delightful. So if he ever seems to be suggesting otherwise, just remind him: Day 275. It's on the record.

We also went to an extremely discombobulating open house. The house could charitably be described as looking like Frankenstein the monster frankensteined two houses together. While colour-blind and drunk. And after he'd spent several weekends in a row going for icepick lobotomies from a series of increasingly inept med school wannabes. Also wik hallucinogens, a flailing attempt at an homage to Escher, and an inimitable knack for knowing what just feels wrong. Day 176: Got home, car got stuck in the back lane... So then we shoveled the entire parking area for our building. Because if a job is worth doing, it's worth doing good(ridge) - aka overdoing.

Day 177: Sleep is invegetable!!

Day 178: Husband told me I should take at least a week off after my exam... So, in the past week I have read three whole books, started a scarf, watched a bunch of tv, and played a pile of perfect dark. Also: Gingerbran muffins! Maybe I should request a second week...

Day 179: 
Pizza! Says Husband
A shot in the Perfect Dark
Such Community

Day 180: Husband picked up apples and brought me one to have with lunch so that I could have some fruit. Because of being an awesome Husband.

Day 181: Husband and I have been married for 6 months. We celebrated by watching Community, playing Perfect Dark, making delicious dinner, and getting locked out of our apartment by a lock that developed an insatiable appetite for Husband's key. You know it's going to be a good time when the locksmith fiddles with it for a bit and just says "...Interesting."

Marriage: First Quarter

Day 1: The marital nagging begins. On the plus side, it is fun to end every sentence with 'husband'.

Day 2: Husband let me sleep in. Remembering how life felt pre-wedding planning. Ahhhhhhh....

(belated) Day 3: Husband demonstrates that he is a good provider by keeping the fire going all day long. He also bought me a toque.

Day 4: Husband decides which wine pairs best with tacos, and keeps the black bears at bay with his low, carrying voice. What a good husband!

Day 5: Husband and I are sitting outside drinking coffee and eating grilled bacon and cheese sandwiches with sides of bacon and tomato. I am reading the Narnia books for the first time; Husband is reading a decision by an Alberta Court of Queen's Bench judge about Organized Pseudo-Legal Commercial Argument Litigants. Married life is awesome.

Day 6: Marriage has not improved shopping.

Day 7: In which Husband and I go grocery shopping, clean house, do laundry, and make dinner. Gosh, it's almost like we've been doing this for five years!

(belated) Day 8: Husband and I go back to work. It sucks about as much as expected. Stupid real life...

Day 9: Husband drives me to work, to my dentist appointment (where he tells the dentist that we have important babies to sit on, so the dentist gets me out the door very fast, barely lecturing me about flossing at all), and then to babysitting. What a lovely husband!

Day 10: Asked husband if we could get unmarried so I don't have to change my name. Turns out I have to get a learner's license just so I can get a new passport...

Day 11: Husband and I went to the bank and discussed RRSPs. It was almost like we were real grown ups.... until we high-fived.

Day 12: Husband is yelling at the news for not accurately reporting a Supreme Court ruling. In other news, for the first time today I am warm enough to be only wearing one hoodie! Down duvet, here I come...

Day 14: First longish road trip with Husband. Topics of conversation covered after 3.5 hours, in no particular order: American politics, Baby Trudeau, the Meech Lake Accord, Mother Mother, entitlement, Sesame Street and public libraries, creepy toe shoes, burning Vs plowing under fields, SARS 2: The ReinSARSination, long term thinking, taxes, the search for the bodies at the dump, mix of politics and religion, science and religion, being married and how it mostly the same as being unmarried, how shiny rings are, and the new recycling bins in Winnipeg.

Day 14: Welcome Caty and Benson to the Newlyweds Club! May our livers forgive us!

Day 15: Husband and I discover that Sweet & Sour Filled Twizzlers are kinda gross and alarming, and do not mix well with Glysomed.

Day 16: Husband and I discover that morning tea just isn't the same as morning coffee. We definitely remember to buy more beans.

Day 17: Husband and I make chicken noodle soup and salad for dinner. We use a soup packet, and add green onion, carrots, celery, garlic, ginger, dill, pepper, and basil. We mix up the directions on the package. And then we have Jell-O for dessert. You know, like grownups.

Day 18 (belated): I watch tv while Neil plays bridge; he plays video games while I read my book and accidentally fall asleep very hard.

Day 19: Interrupted errands to have a dinner date. After errands, we will go home and have a sitting-around-reading-and-drinking-tea date. Friday night = success!

Day 20: Mocksgiving Extravaganza! Slept in, ate delicious smoked cheddar and veggie sandwich, finished Husband's scarf and started reading up on how to knit a matching hat, made and ate lamb souvlaki, watched Casino Royale, made and ate Rodanches de Kalvassa (aka Greek Pumpkin Coils) as per the recipe from The Cookbook of the Jews of Greece, and finished the day watching SNL and trying out a new stitch.

Day 21: I have now been married to Husband for three weeks. What I suspected before the wedding has now been confirmed: I won the Husband Lottery! I love you, monkey

Day 22: Started working on my first ever hat. It is a test run for the toque Husband requested, and it is absolutely and horrendously ridiculous. I may have to try to make him wear it in public.

Day 23 (quite belated): By the combined powers of Husband, Jamie Cote, alcohol, and the Winnipeg Public Library, the Wild Grumpus is conquered!

Day 24: Finished Husband's practice hat. I think I should keep practicing.

Day 25: Put on my rainboots and stomped through the puddles on the way to crash babysitting. Because I am a grownup, I walked a few feet away from Husband, so I wouldn't splash him.

Day 26: Turned 26 on day 26 of being married. I feel much older, wiser, and wife-ier than I did a year ago. Thanks for all the birthday wishes, Friends; you are a few of my favourite things.

Day 27: Introduced Addie to SpiderFriend while Husband was playing bridge.

Day 28 (belated): Husband and I may not be the most organized people in the world, but at least we're not the people in our building who just threw out last year's Christmas tree!

Day 29 (belated, because apparently I suck at this): Went shopping with Husband. Bought a hostess flatware set, soup bowls, a kobo cover, a cookbook, a fun book for Husband, work pants for me, and groceries. Being an adult seems to mean spending a lot of money on things you can't play with.

Day 30: After one month of marriage, Husband and I have magically metamorphosed into real grownups. Or so I thought, until Jamie came home and found Addie in a fairy dress, Neil in a pirate hat and me with a Starbucks bag on my head, all dancing around in his living room. Halloween party!

Day 31: Captain Awesome Wife domesticates the house! Captain Super Husband brings home the bacon! It was super effective!

Day 32: Husband helps me pick out a Halloween costume. It is super effective.

Day 33: Husband and I babysit a sleeping baby who sleeps. I am totally convinced we are prepared to be parents.

(no prego)

Day 34: drunkenness and boobs.

Day 35: Husband nurses me back to sobriety. We also discover that coconut milk yogurt is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike yogurt.

Day 36: In which Husband and I discovered that we can't run errands before having dinner if we want to have healthy food... And we can't have dinner before running errands or we get too lazy for errands. Go Team Lose!

Day 36 (Addendum): Husband and I discover we have differing views on whether or not one should buy lunch meats based purely on hilarity value.

Day 37 and/or 007 Day: Friends are awesome, sleeping is stupid. Unless you're trying to get a small kid to go to bed, in which case sleeping is fantastic, and no you can't stay up for five more minutes.

Day 38: I was feeling discouraged about my day until I came home and Husband convinced me we could have leftover chinese food for dinner, made me tea, and shot things in the face with me. Going to bed happy.

Note: This post was pre-emptively lawyered for your reading convenience.

Day 39 (belated): In which Carol learns a lesson that it is sometimes better to trust in the goodness and perceptiveness of people rather than muttering to yourself in the corner... And then makes delicious dinner with Husband.

Day 40: Husband and I have decided to braise everything from now on.

Day 41: Husband bakes me a birthday cake while I have a migraine-induced nap and then we eat one million pounds of Chinese food for birthday dinner. Also, please remember that burritos are not male tacos.

Day 42: Today Husband and I learned the meaning of life, the universe and everything.

Day 43: Shrunken pants, cupcakes, and rain/snow.

Day 44: Received backup offer of marriage. Luckily, Husband made me fajitas and helped me with Excel tonight, so I think I'm going to keep him. In other news: taught Addie to sing bananaphone. Huge success!

Day 45: Grilled cheese, ham soup (blended to a fine crumb!), salad, green beans, and Oxford comma. This is what happens when you grow up and decide that you can't just have grilled cheese for dinner

Day 46: In which we learned that grownups are allowed to eat grilled cheese for dinner... so we did it again. My flu shot arm is telling me I am carrying too much crap in my backpack. It was much happier when I was letting it just flop around.

Day 47: Tuna salad wrap melts! Accidental nap! Snuggling with Kobo! Still no blizzard!

Day 48: Definitely blizzard. Decided to hibernate while Husband was off playing bridge all day. Watched TV, had coffee, read the internet, read my book.... and then went outside just when the snow/roads were at their worst. But it was all worth it and nobody died. Huzzah! 

(Husband says that it is weird that I am using the phrase "it was all worth it" because I am apparently usually a "glass-is-totally-freaking-empty-and-this-drought-is-going-to-kill-us-all" kind of gal. Sheeesh. Husbands!)

Day 49: Got bangs that band and duplicate groceries. Now that I have Husband back, we can go see Skyfall...tomorrow!

Day 50: On the way out the door to go see Skyfall (!), I meant to grab my water bottle and instead grabbed a loaf of bread. Also, Husband got the snow tires put on, so we are now much less likely to die. More also, made what Husband is calling "moosey fishy kormarole" for dinner. More other also, found out we can now get Wild Mike's pizzas in Winnipeg. Also also wik: Husband and I exchanged gifts for our paper clip dayiversary. Marriage is sometimes quite action-packed.

Day 51: This is why I married Husband: I told him about the synopsis given on the back of a book and he says "Maybe it's abuse. Maybe it's Maybelline." 

Also, he cooks!

Day 52: Husband and I accidentally invented Kissmas songs. And yes, it is exactly as silly as it sounds, but much less icky. Day 53: VACATION VACATION VACATION!!

Day 54: Proved I have knowledge of the driving variety, picked up splendiferous new boots, lost scarf, bought new pants (with patterns!), made cookies, discovered what is possibly the best PSA ever, watched Coyote Ugly with all sorts of ladies, drank weird German liquor, got to see Friend, and was serenaded by husband. Day 54 = Winning!

Day 55 (belated): Dressed like a princess -at least to the extent that my wardrobe and makeup "collection" will allow- for a first birthday party. Made super delicious pizzas. Finished the day sitting knitting with husband while watching West Wing.

Day 56: Cleaning the shower, slow cooker spaghetti, and financial planning. Oh my!

Day 57: Even though he had to be at the airport at 6am, Husband still made me coffee and breakfast... and then felt bad because he didn't pack my lunch. Mom is right, I am spoiled rotten.

Day 58: Managed to get to work on time for the second day in a row all by myself. It only took seven alarms! And having cold dry crumpets for breakfast! Also, I would like to point out that I didn't drink chemical de-scaler, I remembered to put coffee in my coffee, and I managed to put shampoo in my hair and body wash on my body. Despite this resounding success, I am very happy that Husband will soon be home. He somehow manages to banish much of the morninginess from my mornings.

Day 59: After Husband's flight got delayed he got home very, very late and nearly died of tired. Which meant that I made coffee for two people this morning. I only have directions for one. It went bad. I tried to fix it by accidentally adding what was probably a tablespoon and a half of Demerara sugar. It went worse. In conclusion, Husband is not allowed to go anywhere ever again.

P.S. In case you were wondering, I got to work on time all by myself again. Thanks to timewarps.

Day 60: Discovered how wonder bread is made, ate pizza we discovered in Edmonton, and then got sucked into the crack-fueled world of Song Pop.

Day 61: Doing laundry in preparation for Husband leaving me again. This time I have stocked up on pop tarts in advance. Because who has time to eat/make actual breakfast (when you're me) in the morning?

Day 62: Reinvented our standard curry dish (for the OMG OM NOM NOM win), began what will be two weeks of furious knitting, and shored up on groceries and cuddling. Stupid Canadian Tax Foundation and their stupid seminars.

Day 63: Woke up at four to help Husband get to the airport on time. Every time I hear the door to the building open, I have a moment where I think it is him coming home. It's gonna be a long couple of days

Day 64: Pop tart got stuck in the toaster (yep, got it out with a fork), noticed we had puddles of water on the windowsills and had to move everything off of them, and realized this afternoon that I put on three pairs of socks this morning without noticing. Mornings without Husband are not a good time.

Day 65: Husband is home! And there was much rejoicing.

Day 66: Spaghetti and Cookies and Knitting, Oh My!

Day 67: Husband and I kicked the fresh snow all the way home. I love winter.

Day 68: In which there were many grumbles and lamentations, glasses of wine, and dill paste.

Day 69: Got some more Christmas shopping done... And then watched a pile of Buffy to recover.

Day 70: Husband and I have been married for ten weeks. We celebrated by him going into the office for much of the weekend while I stayed home knitting. Stay tuned for more posts about the glamour of married life.

Day 71: Every time I open my mouth this evening it becomes even more apparent that I need to go to sleep. "Oh my and all the mackerels!" "A Chihuahua Terrier?... That's about as.. can't think of the word... wantable?... desirable, thank you... as desirable as a pitbull crossed with... a walrus." I think Husband and I may need to start going to bed earlier.

Day 72: Twas a weird-ass day, but Mother Mother made it all better.

Day 73: Went to the Old Spaghetti Factory for the first and last time. Also, Husband and I are trying to get back into the habit of standing on one foot while brushing our teeth (each, not between us)

Day: 74. In which Carol forgets where to put colons, and our marriage gets a new: motto. 'If one of us has to suffer, we both have to suffer!'

Day 74 Super Special Edition: We have wedding pictures! From our wedding! And I don't have to put them in an album becauseAshley MacLennan is THE BEST EVER.

Early Day 75: Got Neil to supervise me putting *matching* shoes and also lunch in my bag. Only put on one pair of socks (on purpose!). Used body wash for body and shampoo for hair. Forgot to put on jewelry and wake up. Balls.

Day 75 Special Edition: Caused much strife at Husband's office Christmas party by bringing scarves for the gift exchange. I was told I am not invited back next year.

Day 76: Today I accomplished putting on pants, showering, braiding my hair, finishing a scarf, starting a hat, getting irate with thinkgeek, watching a ton of Buffy, and eating. Husband billed seven and a half hours. If I'm not a little more industrious tomorrow, I'm afraid I might get fired as Wife...

Day 77: You know you married a freak of nature when you see him trimming his beard left-handed while standing on one foot. (each)

Day 78: Husband and I are in the car talking about maybe playing some video games
H: We could shoot things in the face! Or magic things in the face!
C: With a pew pew here, and a pew pew there...
Both: Here a pew, there a pew, everywhere a pew pew!
....
H: <gasp!>
C: I already told Kate I wanted it for Christmas.

I was right. Husband had just realized he could get me Lego Lord of the Rings for Christmas.

Day 79: I work on becoming an Excel genie; Husband makes over 9000 cookies. And also burns himself.

Day 80: The ladies at work found out husband can bake. Too late - I liked it so I put a ring on it.

Day 81: Apparently I can only make lumpy hand hearts. Fortunately, Husband has graciously agreed to still be married to me.

Day 82: Let the vacation begin! May there be much sitting around, and playing video games, and making delicious food, and watching TV. And also naps. So. Many. Naps.

Day 83: During our scheduled day of productivity, we accomplished several levels of Lego Harry Potter and also a migraine. Go Team Goodridge!

Day 84: We have to do some Christmas shopping in the morning. Husband: "How early can I wake you up without you killing me?" 
It's like he knows me or something...

Day 84 Postscript: I'm not sure Husband ever noticed that Dumb Ways to Die was on a loop.

Day 85: Because who needs sleep when you have Lego Harry Potter?

Day 86: Went for my first ski of the season (also my first ski ever at Windsor). Saw three deer and didn't hug any trees. Clearly a huge success.

Day 87: A merit increase, a homemade Christmas present from my boss, homemade hard cider, working on my passport application, trying to find lost things (remote = found. Birth certificate = not found), legs and back that doth protest too much, and sad episodes of Buffy.

Day 88: Trying to catch snowflakes on your tongue is Serious Business with Husband. It's like when someone throws a candy at you for you to catch in your mouth only they have spectacularly bad aim and you have to take a dive to get it. Because why do something when you can overdo it?

Day 89: "Navidad de los Muertos" -Husband, on my festive office decorations.

Day 90: Husband and I once again decided to try a totally new recipe using an unfamiliar cooking technique when we needed to bring food to a get-together. Gingerbread cake + apples in caramel sauce = win. In other culinary news, broccoli pizza is teh awesome.

Day 90 Addendum: Husband: "You have infected me with your tired itchies!"