Day 3324

 Sometimes I forget that children with candy are basically dragons with treasure.

Day 3323

 Today the children learned they are all airplanes. 

May they immediately forget it.

Day 3322

 Parenting pet peeve: listening to your kid tell you about an insipid kids show you’ve never seen.

At least tell the relevant parts IN ORDER. 

Kindly leave out more irrelevant bits.

Please PLEASE don’t try to explain the jokes to me.

Day 3321

 That awkward phase of kid sickness where they are bouncing off the walls between bouts of coughing and crying…

Day 3320

 Who needs plague rats when you have teething children?

Day 3319

 I’m beginning to wonder if we need to explain to our boy that you shouldn’t lick doorknobs. Maybe he doesn’t know and it seemed fun so he’s been doing it at daycare all this time…

Day 3318

 It is disconcerting seeing the little goblin queen show some early signs of being a rule-follower. 

Day 3317

 Platypus: the Dream Sword

Day 3316

The end of the festival of cake is in sight. 

Long live the festival of cake.

Day 3315

 I am not accustomed to subdued children.

Day 3314

 When the fevers are down, the glue and scissors come out!

Day 3313

 You know it’s trouble when the boy isn’t talking.

Day 3312

 Another successful Sock Puppet Day, now with a named sockbird: Stuart Alex Bingbong, called Socksy.

And a completely (delicious) unreasonable amount of (delicious) cake.

Day 3311

 THE BABY PLAYED IN THE BATHTUB.

THIS IS NOT A DRILL. 

SHE PLAYED, AND SMILED AND LAUGHED.

Still no luck on sitting.

BUT PLAYING!!!

Also, back forest cake is amazing.

Day 3310

 But surely one can’t be too aggressive with To Do lists?

Day 3309

 Superstore made a stocking mistake and now I get to be a dancing skeleton.

Day 3308

But who will pluck the chickens?

Day 3307

 Drawing birds until the email comes in is infinitely better than just hitting refresh - refresh - refresh.

Day 3306

That feeling when you interrupt your kid’s reading to remind them to do homework… which turns out to be reading.

Day 3305

 I WILL TURN THIS BED AROUND!!

Day 3304

My boy is super adept at doorknob questions. Anything to push bedtime a little later. Tonight he dropped a little tidbit about ghosts in children’s bedrooms that he cuts apart with a knife.

Like you do.

Day 3303

 You know bedtime went great when the entire toy box got confiscated.

Day 3302

 It’s official: we have no more babies. 

And the crib went out with a bang.

Day 3301

A group of kids laughing at physical comedy is one of the loudest sounds in the world. 

Prove me wrong.

Facts are inadmissible.

Day 3300

 Our Banana has the best little admonishing finger. It has only gotten better since she started clearly saying don’t. 

And she wags the finger: Don’t! Buttle me. Otaaay?

Day 3299

 Ceci n’est pas une pipe, actually.

Day 3298

 What could be better than a crowded living dance party when your belly is full of pizza?

When you do it during pizzamas, of course.

Day 3297

 Fart breathing saves the day once again!

…although it might be nice if I could convince them to do the softer, gentler toots breathing.

Day 3296

It would probably help our baking problem if we were worse at baking. But who can resist when the results are so delicious?

Day 3295

 Everyone we haven’t seen for a while is outside, hiding. At the cottage. Drinking coffee.

Day 3294

 I love the never ending adventures of our boy’s one million children. Now they built a province, and he sells them bread.