Day 3110

 Someday we will manage to convince our fair Banana that bathtime is not end times. 

Today was not the day.

Day 3109

 Expanding vocabulary is so delightful. Tiny little sentences, things called by the wrong noun... 

Like my glasses case isn’t actually a bed, but... I mean...kinda. My glasses sleep there at night. 

Delightful.

Day 3108

Banana seems to think that all dogs are called Bertie. Or possibly that the species is called Bertie. Either way, she gets very excited when she spots a Bertie.

Meanwhile Chinchilla says (according to his iPad), mountains aren’t real. So probably we’ll have to check out some of those when we crawl out from this rock we’ve been hiding under.

Day 3107

 You don’t put a knife in a toaster. Or a toast in a knifer.

Day 3106

 Banana was feeling left out when the big kids were playing with Lego at the big table, so we let her sit in her booster seat to colour. 

For a glorious while, they played nicely and quietly together and we sat in the next room and did our own thing. YEEEES. This is our sometimes future! It means books during the DAY.

Day 3105

 Doom week over.

Exhale.

Day 3104

 Maybe I shouldn’t be laughing at all the people packing their bags for the coming POGGalanche.... but I am.

Day 3103

 A group promise is only as strong as its two-est participant.

Day 3102

 Our boy has started appealing to his imaginary phone’s authority to settle arguments. Who can argue against an imagined google search result?

Day 3101

 When you accidentally sign up for the deep sea diving course instead of the splashing in the kiddie pool with water wings course...

...and a part of you is like ‘welp, since I’m already here...’

Day 3100

 Our boy is four and he’s already figured out wishing for more wishes; for his birthday he asked for a machine that makes toys.

Day 3099

 Four years ago my mom was feeding our daughter spaghetti and dealing with our flooding basement while we were in the hospital waiting for our boy to make an appearance. Today she got vaccinated against the goddamn coronavirus. Thank goodness for Mums and vaccinations.

Day 3098

 The baby has discovered tickling. 

And is refining her tantrum technique.

Day 3097

Good news, everyone! Our boy is willing to have dessert!

Day 3096

 Our boy was trying to figure out how to rescue the Titanic and his big sister kept trying to give him science reasons a particular plan wouldn’t work... and maybe at some point I should have mentioned time machines aren’t real?

Day 3095

 The boy wants to grow up to be a giraffe.

Unclear whether this is before, after, or instead of being Santa.

When he’s a giraffe, he will bend his neck down and his head up and see a turtle... and then he will be a giraffe turtle!

Or a turtle giraffe, I forget. Either way, the mental image is spectacular.

Day 3094

 Apparently Lizard is starting to become aware of the passage of time. This morning she was showing me her pants and then suddenly said “Ack! I think I might be running late!” and took off.

She was indeed running late.

Day 3093

 Our easy-going baby is getting more demanding. So far it had been mostly about her; feed me, read to me, change my diaper, etc.

Today she added ‘open the gate so the dog can come up’ and ‘put away the laundry’.

Day 3092

 Dancing in the living room in pairs might soon require mouth guards and helmets.

Day 3091

 You say out loud that leprechauns are pretend, like mermaids. Immediately one kid is upset because they made decorations for leprechauns at school, and how could that be if they’re not real? And another kid gets mad because mermaids are obviously real. They live under the sea, sing songs, hang out with crabs and fish, and feed all the sea creatures.

Day 3090

 The boy said something about being on the roof. I told him that seemed dangerous, and he very nonchalantly said ‘no, mummy. Because the world turned upside now and the sky is down and the grass is up.’

So good news, everybody! We can all fly now!

Fancy not noticing until he mentioned it...

Day 3089

 Some glorious day everyone in this family will feed themselves their own food with their own utensils.

Day 3088

 Every time you shovel water you feel like you’re accomplishing something... until you stop for half an hour.

Day 3087

 Why work on your extremely time-limited course when you can spend your evening watching your laptop try to update?

But also Nanaimo bars. So. 

Winning!

Day 3086

 Trying to get the baby to say her big sister’s name and Butt-yup is what comes out.

Close enough? At least for the girl who pronounced please “pbbbbbbbbbbt”.

Day 3085

 Our boy is very excited about being Buzz Light when he grows up. Since he’s bigger and braver than Hulk and uses his dangerous light to kill bad guys and also is an astronaut.

Day 3084

 Life would be much better if our children would just eat delicious food.

Day 3083

 Banana prefers people at waving distance. At least for the first few months, until she gets to know them.

Day 3082

The more she learns to talk, the more trouble we’ll be in.

If she’s in her chair, she wants this parent to feed her, no not you! with that spoon, not the fork, don’t be ridiculous, salad only when I say so, not yet, it’s noodle time, as if I would eat broccoli when there are noodles, how dare you pause to take a bite of your food, no not now I’m still chewing, now I’m busy smiling and making weird noises, NOW NOW NOW.

And then she demands out, but she actually wants up so she can feed herself more dinner while sitting on your lap while you look at your phone. The last bit is part of it. Because.

Day 3081

 Your arbitrary collection of grades has arbitrarily been altered. Complaining is forbidden. Asking for an explanation is forbidden. Arbitrary grades may be returned arbitrarily. If so, it may or may not be permanent. That is still being determined. Please go work on next week’s materials - the ones not being arbitrarily withheld.

Day 3080

We need a suffix for when something makes you angry. Instead of -phobic you’re -ragic. Or -furic. 

Cause that’s our Banana with bathtime. And sharing. And not wearing boots.