Day 1041

How to convince the dog to come to you: sit on the floor and act like you're absorbed in something that doesn't require his presence. Better yet, something where is presence is actively unhelpful.

Day 1040

I think the only one more excited than we are about Lizard's continuing development is Bert. 

I think the only one who gets their hair pulled more than we do is Bert.... Who will sit there and take it, with a persecuted look on his face. 

Our dog is obviously Saint Bertard.

Day 1039

If an air raid siren and a pterodactyl had a baby, it might sound something like my daughter.

Day 1038

It is getting more hazardous to leave the puppy and the Lizard alone together. He'll bring her his toys and she'll stick them in her mouth, and then he sits around so she can poke him in the eye and yank his ears.

Day 1037

The normal pas de deux of life is somewhat disrupted by all of the baby stuff everywhere. 

(I'm looking at you, Bumbo.)

Day 1036

The eternal struggle to prevent a completely gung-ho girlypants wardrobe for my daughter rages on...

Day 1035

Eventually you just have to admit defeat and acknowledge that your baby is not going to stop jamming her feet through the bars of her crib just because it freaks her out and makes her scream her face off.

Day 1034

Encouraging your kid to yell while trying to poop may not be the most forward-thinking parenting strategy in the world.

Day 1033

And then you get so used to your kid sleeping badly that you feel compelled to poke them to make sure they're still alive when they do finally sleep soundly...

Day 1032

Evil babies with vile poos are much easier to contend with when you're getting some sleep.

Day 1031

Having already learned patience when feeding a tiny person, it's nice to be able to just enjoy all the ludicrous faces.

Day 1030

That thing where you have to decide which baby needs a both more desperately.

Day 1029

The day, several months after your kid is born, that you realize No depositing of rubbish or other injurious matter on highways

217(1)      No person shall drop, throw, or deposit on a highway, whether from a vehicle or otherwise, or knowingly leave on a highway

(a) any glass bottles, glass, nails, tacks, wire, cans, scraps of metal, or any other substance or thing that may be injurious to a person, animal, or vehicle; or

(b) any tobacco ashes, burning match, lighted cigar or cigarette, or other burning substance; or

(c) without restricting or being restricted by clause (a) or (b), any ashes, garbage, or other refuse, trash, or litter.

.... Too funny to undo.

But actually: 

The day, several months after your kid is born, that you realize that you're now a mom. 

Day 1028

Staycations forever.

Day 1027

Dear Lizard; 

Here is the rule: when you're exhausted, you go to sleep. 

Love,

Your Somewhat Exasperated Mother

Day 1026

Introducing your baby to solids means it is possible to sleep in (also known as get some sleep) while your delightful, wonderful husband feeds the baby.

Although the fact that you started typing 'while your delightful, wonderful baby feeds the husband' might suggest that even more sleep might have been advisable.

Day 1025

Babies: a constant stream of evils and delights.

Day 1024

Being able to introduce your kid to new things is pretty amazing. New foods, new places, new experiences. But best of all is discovering new ways to make them giggle.

Day 1023

Slowly learning the fine art of not waking the baby.

Day 1022

The Lizard takes after her parents, and doesn't want to go to sleep if she could be having fun instead.

Day 1021

It's Lizard's second trip to the lake. As long as we actually keep power this time...

Day 1020

The second time confirms it: the Lizard has a poo face, and it is hilarious.

Day 1019

Our happy Lizard might be dangerously outgoing.

Day 1018

It's only been seven months, but apparently I had already forgotten that newborns are little.

Day 1017

You can tell the Lizard is exhausted when you find her where you left her.

Day 1016

Babbling is the best. Some poo, little Lizard.

Day 1015

Our seven (!) month old Lizard can rock a mean road trip, for which I shall be eternally grateful.

Day 1014

The Lizard celebrated being almost seven months old by being an excellent road trip baby.

Day 1013

Spending time with niblings makes me realize how much there is to look forward to with the Lizard. 

And also makes me glad there is a circle in the layout of our house.

Day 1012

The Lizard demonstrates to people that it is possible for her to get ill-tempered. She also gains more silly clothes.

Day 1011

There's a good chance you're not une grande personne if you spend half an hour one evening making fart noises with your arm instead of going to bed at a reasonable time.

Day 1010

The Lizard is demonstrating a dangerous extroversion streak. I wonder if you can nurture that out...