Day 887

I get suspicious when the baby is too cheerful. What foul scheme are you working on, baby?!

Day 886

Dear Lizard,

Thank you for having your poopsplosion while your daddy was still home to help me deal with it.

Best Wishes (and Love),

Mummy

Day 885

Sometimes you just have to puke all morning to smile all afternoon.

Or so the Lizard would leave me to believe.

Day 884

Motherhood has taught me that blowing your nose one-handed is super awkward.

Day 883 (belated)

The Lizard prefers balance in her life. If she has a wonderful day where she eats nicely, sleeps well, shows development, and smiles a lot, the next day she feels compelled to be a raging terror.

Day 882

Last night the lizard slept through the night; today she rolled over for the first time.

I feel like we have bred a super baby.

Day 881

If you ever want to feel super accomplished for doing housework, have a baby.

Day 880

In which the baby is a stupid buttface.

Day 879

Sick babies are heart-wrenching.

Day 878

You might be getting used to motherhood when the dog pukes on the couch and the baby had a diaper-buster shortly thereafter and you aren't phased by it.

Day 877

...and then one day you find yourself trying to moo your kid out of a bad mood.

The worst part is that it works, so the insanity is reinforced.

Day 876

The Lizard continues her campaign of terror with Operation Develop Way Too Quickly.

Day 875

Dear Exploring Lizard,

Please keep your adventurous spirit for parent-approves expeditions. Adventure is not required (or desired) in the middle of the night.

Best wishes,

Your Mum

Day 874

It is ridiculously enjoyable finding new ways to distract and divert the Lizard from fussing. 

The newest method: mooing at her.

Day 873

We decided to try to put the Lizard to bed early in her bassinet; she convinced us to give up and go to bed early too. 

Do not try to win arguments with babies.

Day 872

My Lizard is having an Abby Normal day: puking way more than usual, pooping way less than usual, seeing to her cousins more than usual and screaming inconsolably waaaaaaaaay more than usual.

Day 871

I am determined to make the Lizard laugh. And then I will teach her to laugh on cue so I'll have someone in the house who laughs at my jokes.

Day 870

I didn't post last night because I figured I'd have time when Lizard woke me up in the middle of the night. And then she slept through the night.

Best reason for late post EVAR!

Day 869

The Lizard is trying to decide what she should accomplish way too early first: standing, rolling over, or crawling. 

But really... why not all three?!?

Day 868

There is no more dawdling on errands allowed - we race against the clock of Lizard's growling belly.

Screams make for a terribly effective alarm.

Day 867

As the baby gets more and more interested in playing, parenthood becomes more and more awesome.

Day 866

I have determined conclusively that vaccines cause narcolepsy and bulimia.

Day 865

Vaccinations do not cause autism, but they sure do cause cranky babies.

Day 864

I found a song the Lizard doesn't like. The immediate face contortions were amazing.

Day 863

The puppy has been renamed The Abomination after walking the baby and making her cranky for the rest of the day.

Day 862

The Lizard has introduced a new sound into her repertoire. I had been hoping for a giggle rather than a high decibel screech.

Day 861

Having mastered the comedic possibilities of farting, the Lizard has moved on to bodily fluids.