Day 91:
Things I learned today:
-Husbands are sometimes as bad at waking up as their Wives, and you should not
glare at them really hard to try to make their heads explode for that.
-Bath and Bodyworks hand soaps will freeze if you leave them in the car for
several hours.
-People haven't (yet) started to hate us even though we are really bad at thank
you cards.
-Butterflying a goose is hard. Getting all up in
its spinal space is weird.
-If you are a weirdo and you marry a weirdo, there
is a good chance that most of your wedding pictures will involve one or the
other of you making silly faces. Luckily, if you are both weirdos you will
think this is awesome.
-If you are a weirdo and you marry a weirdo, you
may just be able to convince your Husband to do a Track Santa Dance because you
are excited that it is almost time for NORAD to tell you that Santa is in your
town RIGHT. NOW.
Day 92:
Christmas sleeping in, Cheistmas Buffy, Christmas grilled cheese, Christmas
tidying the coffee table, Christmas wrapping, Christmas grocery shopping,
Christmas music, Christmas goose, Christmas presents, Christmas Walking Dead,
and Christmas tracking Santa with NORAD
Day 93: Our
first Christmas as Husband & Wife = Huge Success. Merry Christmas everyone;
we hope you had a day of fun and good eats in the company of friends and
family. We love you all!
Day 94: Now
the proud owner of the first (and likely only) book about our marriage. I would
feel like some kind of fancy famous person if I hadn't cut my finger on sugar
today. I think fancy famous people probably have people to handle their sharp
sugars for them.
Day 95: When
you need five blankets and hot tea to be not cold, you might have caught your
Husband's plague.
Day 96: Took
my first full sick day since starting at Wawanesa 16 months ago. Now Husband
and I get to make pathetic attempts to take care of each other when we both get
tired after standing for a couple minutes at a time. Wish us luck!
Day 97: I was
not aware that this level of sore was possible without serious bodily harm.
Quarantine continues.
Day 98:
Synchronized coughing. It's coming, people. And Husband and I have been
practicing.
Day 99: We
made it! I don't know how you guys celebrate, but we had germ-filled smooches
and then dropped a glass on the floor... So the first few minutes of 2013 were
spent fulfilling a joint resolution: keep the apartment tidier.
Day 100: Our
hundredth day of marriage was a huge success; I put on pants (not pajamas!
Okay, they were yoga pants... But still, no flannel is a big step, right?),
watched a bunch of Buffy, and drank scotch while playing Lego LotR.
Day 101:
Disappointingly lacking in Dalmatians. Went to work. As soon as I pile a bunch
more stuff on my Kobo (to avoid a repeat of today's noon-time horror: no
battery phone, no battery e-reader, and no book), I am going to bed. In the
meantime, I am giving thanks for a Husband for fetching me dinner and lozenges.
Day 102:
Omnipresent tension headache due to coughing and nose-blowing. That is all.
Day 103:
Actually had enough energy to make real dinner, and so obviously went slightly
overboard. Also, Husband rubbed my temples, so I am much less of a Crankasaurus
Rex than yesterday.
Day 104: I
love it when Husband pauses zero punctuation so he can fall over laughing. I do
not like it when Husband says he chops faster than me. For serious, I am the
chopping queen.
Day 105:
Things I have learned:
-Self-administered quarantine is lame.
-Kids are hilarious.
-Teabagging your Husband (with teabags) is a lot of fun.
-My lungs like the same environment fungus does: cool and moist.
-Husband and I are regaining our powers of making
delicious dinner.
-Finally, Husband is drinking Scotch and working on
tricksy tax law things, and I am drinking German liqueur and reading my stats
book... And somehow it is kind of nice.
... Maybe someone should check for fever?
Day 106:
Either Husband doesn't understand the concept of positive reinforcement, or he is
training me to destroy his nemeses.
Day 107: One
of the examples in stats class today was about the number of hours billed to
clients by five partners at a law firm in a given week. I just caught myself
preparing to calculate how many standard deviations Husband is from the mean.
Day 108:
Licked the pan. Husband is going to have to make this sauce every day forever.
Day 109: Sat
on a baby, played with friends, played Spaceteam by myself, ate tacos, didn't
eat pie, gained girl guide cookies, drank scotch, took down the Christmas tree,
glared at my stats book, and am going to bed while Husband finishes working on
his cross-examination. Not bad for a pair of plague survivors.
Day 110:
Husband is a little too adept at hibernating. Time to wake him up so we can go
to bed.
Day
Eleventy-One: Meeting at the bank, reorganization of the office, two hour phone
conversation, finnan haddie with crazy good brussel sprouts, opening of
Christmas gifts from my brother, including a pregnancy recipe book (source of
brussel sprout recipe). Turns out Husband and I already eat like a pair of
pregnant ladies.
Day
Eleventy-One (Addendum): No prego.
Day 112: Had
one of those delightful weekends that was very productive.. but also involved
lots of sitting around playing video games and relaxing. Now if only Husband's
asthma hadn't decided it was allergic to the cold...
Day 113:
Husband realized this morning that he will have to be the person in charge of
getting future kids (still no prego) to school etc in the morning. Actually, he
said that he is going to have to be the mean one in the morning. I pointed out
that I will still be cranky as shit in the morning, and he can just sic them on
me if they are being obnoxious. "Do you really want me to have to get
Morning Mom?". In other news, apparently the only thing that makes me more
cranky than mornings is stats quizzes.
Day 114:
Realizing how apt the terms 'web' and 'net' are. Productivity: 0. Internet:
9001.
Day 115:
Apparently I have hit that age where you suddenly feel compelled to wash
everything when you have someone coming over for dinner. Balls.
Day 116
(Astonishingly Early): I have had my hair down for two hours. I suggested to
Husband that I could just not bring a hair elastic to work today, thereby
forcing myself to leave it down today. He told me to bring one; I said
"What, so I don't murder everyone?". "Pretty much, yup."
Good to know my Husband thinks my sanity is dependent on a little elastic band.
Day 117:
Invented a new super hero alter ego: Captain Naptime. Husband was unimpressed
when I tried to tell him that it could clearly not be shower time.... As
obviously Captain Naptime should have been napping heroically.
Also, teeny tiny snowmen:
Day 118: Went
for dinner at friends' house and came home with more booze than we left with.
By a lot. And I don't just mean in my belly.
Day 119: Had
someone over for the first time since the wedding. Had chili and biscuits and
gingerbread cake with apples and caramel sauce (all in fancy dishes!) and
champagne and watched SNL and the How it's Made of the food world... And also
got to see hoary husband on CBC. This is how all weekends should end.
|
Day 120:
Sometimes you just need brownies and tv shows about baby animals and sliding
around on hardwood in socks to make Mondays better.
Day 121:
Since Husband made someone cry (in a professional capacity) today, we had
butter chicken pizza, and butter chicken poutine, and other pizza that was not
Hawaiian but had pineapple on it for dinner... And also Cherry Krakens. And the
people rejoiced.
Day 122: It
is nice to know that I am worth many goats.
Day 123:
Introducing kids to good music is pretty sweet. Having a kid walk up to your
Husband and say "Neil, play Bust Your Kneecaps please" is totally
amazeballs.
Day 124:
Buffy, stats, and Mr Feynman. Cause that's how all the cool kids rock a Friday
night.
Day 125:
Passport photos = check. Many Buffys = check. Scotch = check. Saturday = Win.
Day 126:
Husband brings me hot packs for my spine, and nearly makes me fall over
laughing when he fumbles his toothbrush while we are (each) standing on one
foot (on stilts).
Day 127:
Becoming close friends with our giant hot pack of doom. Husband made dinner
things and sat on a tiny little corner of couch so that I could stretch out.
And then told me that I was allowed to go to bed instead of working on my stats
quiz, which perversely made me stay up a little longer working on my stats
quiz.
Day 128:
Finished stats quiz. Was excited about going to bed early... and then Husband
and I got distracted looking at a menu for an Icelandic hotel... and then we
started playing with google translate to try to break some of the compound words
down... and then I started showing Husband Ido and Esperanto on Wikipedia so he
could make a determination on which is better.... and now we are never going to
go to bed. Bollocks.
Day 129:
Husband is now in the habit of calling me Captain Naptime every morning. To
return the favour, I invented an alter ego for him: Corporal Showertime. He
objected to that one, so I settled on Private Showertime instead.
Day 130:
Husband continues to call me by my maiden name. Apparently he is the only
person who hasn't gotten used to us being married yet.
Day 131:
While playing Cards Against Humanity, Husband kept picking other people's
cards... and would then turn to me to (correctly) guess which card I had put
in. This might be why Rando Cardrissian beat me.
Day 132:
Husband and I are now the proud owners (sporters?) of fancy hair for fancy
people. Also, spring rolls and coffee for breakfast FTW.
Day 133: When
my Mom says Husband and I deserve each other, I suspect she means days like
today. In the past hour, we have been singing Lion King songs at each other,
holding our salad tongs up to our heads like moose antlers... and when Husband
kept starting the dishwasher and I kept stopping it when I found more dirty
dishes to put in, he told me I need to respect his "Authoritah".
Day 134: And
this is why I married Husband. Also, because if I finish my readings early
enough, we're going to go make snowmen!
Day 135:
Tonight we played Assassin's Creed Vs Statistics. Stats lost. We also joined
the Fajitas & Friends Club.
Day 136: Got
home from picking stuff up from the post office to find a delivery notice from
Canada Post. For a totally different package. Luckily, Husband and I love
driving around the city during rush hour listening to WOTE and conversing.
</no sarcasm>
Day 137: That
thing where you are getting ready for bed on autopilot and then abruptly
realize that your autopilot is terribly broken because you were about to use toothpaste
to take your eye makeup off. It might actually be a miracle that I managed to
keep myself alive before Husband started taking care of me...
Day 138:
Husband got distracted talking to his boss while I was waiting in the car,
thereby turning me into a wifecicle. As a consequence, he was forced to submit
to the dreaded Spine Penance: I get to stick my cold feet on his warm spine
until they thaw out. Sooooo gooood....
Day 139:
Sometimes encouraging other people's birthday fun and frolics is awesome. Got
to play with a ridiculously fantastic one year old, made a vat of peanut sauce
stirfry, and then sat around drinking wine and watching videos on the YouTube.
This might be the plan for my next birthday...
Day 140: You
know your Husband is awesome when he's been feeling ill all evening and he
still gets up to make you tea when you get frustrated and upset about silly
little things.
Day 141: This
evening (whilst making the bed, like adults) that I haven't needed blanked on
the couch and he hasn't needed hoodies in the morning the past few days.
Obviously time to turn the heat down
Day 142:
Given Husband's rage at inanimate objects this morning, I suspect that I am
rubbing off on him.
Day 143: Some
days it's just about laughing so hard you have to sit down about silly little
things. Like farts. Of surprise.
Day 144: In
which Nathan Fillion pronounced me his Valentine and a three year old made me a
dinosaur valentines card. Huge success.
Day 145:
Husband laughed at me for getting frustrated with him for trying to kiss
me...But I was trying to tell a story and the smoochy crap was interrupting.
For serious.
Day 146:
Husband and I celebrated making RRSP contributions by buying even more books.
Day 147:
Broccoli pizza, dark & stormys, phone date with the bestie, stats, and
Perfect Dark. Not bad for a Sunday night.
Day 148:
Today was the first time in a long time that Husband had to work and I didn't
(aside from overtime). I decided to be wifely and make muffins, and then
realized after I had mixed the dry ingredients that we were out of eggs... So
Husband ended up baking them with me. Wifely baking = Fail.
Day 149:
Sometimes it is fun when Husband is frustrated. It means a lot of perfect
dark... But not a lot of sleep.
Day *150*:
Companionable silence while we're both working... Until I start doing a 'Yay
Math!' Dance while making strange musicky mouth noises. Husband just laughs,
rolls his eyes, and continues working.
Day 151: You
know you married a good Husband when he runs all the errands for you because
you decided to dump piping hot tea in your lap and your top speed is now a
hobble.
Day 152
(belated): Weather = Delightful. Scotch = Amazing. Internet = Spotty.
I told Husband we probably weren't married anymore if I didn't have a day post,
and he dragged me around the place until we found a signal. Divorce Off!
Day 153:
Disney sing-a-long with the Goodridges. Cause that's how we roll.
Day 154
(belated): Husband took me out on my single longest ski ever. I'm still not
dead. Take that, Husband!
Day 155: Very
happy to be home. And going to bed early.
Day 156: Even
though Husband had to work late, he still let me gripe about my day over
dinner... And even though he loves them, agreed that I could bring girl guide
cookies to a work function tomorrow so I wouldn't have to bake something all by
myself.
Day 127:
Husband and I are trying to figure out how train me to take off blankets while
I am sleeping when I get overwarm so that I don't die. Because apparently I
don't know how anymore.
Day 158: Date
night was cancelled so we could eat fajitas and watch the Daily Show (and also
get some work done) (on stilts).
Day 159: Our
heat is officially off. If the temperature drops, we may have to make do with
tea and snuggling.
Day 160: Went
for dinner and a movie. We were holding hands waiting for food to arrive
(because who has time for that kind of silly shenanigans when there's food
around?), and Husband started spinning *my* ring. Apparently I'm not the only
one who has difficulty remembering we're not actually the same person.
Day 161: The
Case of The Missing Husband is solved but not resolved. It was Husband at the
office with the trial prep. I guess Wife is going to bed by herself... Le sigh.
Day 162: I
think we may have different ideas about what constitutes a reasonable weekday
meal than other people.
Day 163:
Kidding around after your blow drying goes a little awry is all fun and games
until Husband says "Nice hair, Taylor Swift".
...and then someone loses an eye
Day 164: Told
Husband I forgot to put carrots in the carrot muffins. He says
"Okay." He is obviously becoming too accustomed to my sense of
humour. It is time to up the ante!
Next time I will tell him I forgot the muffin in the carrot muffins. HA!
Day 165: The
simple pleasure of exchanging emails with Husband at work until I have to work
really hard at not giggling uncontrollably.
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