Marriage: First Quarter

Day 1: The marital nagging begins. On the plus side, it is fun to end every sentence with 'husband'.

Day 2: Husband let me sleep in. Remembering how life felt pre-wedding planning. Ahhhhhhh....

(belated) Day 3: Husband demonstrates that he is a good provider by keeping the fire going all day long. He also bought me a toque.

Day 4: Husband decides which wine pairs best with tacos, and keeps the black bears at bay with his low, carrying voice. What a good husband!

Day 5: Husband and I are sitting outside drinking coffee and eating grilled bacon and cheese sandwiches with sides of bacon and tomato. I am reading the Narnia books for the first time; Husband is reading a decision by an Alberta Court of Queen's Bench judge about Organized Pseudo-Legal Commercial Argument Litigants. Married life is awesome.

Day 6: Marriage has not improved shopping.

Day 7: In which Husband and I go grocery shopping, clean house, do laundry, and make dinner. Gosh, it's almost like we've been doing this for five years!

(belated) Day 8: Husband and I go back to work. It sucks about as much as expected. Stupid real life...

Day 9: Husband drives me to work, to my dentist appointment (where he tells the dentist that we have important babies to sit on, so the dentist gets me out the door very fast, barely lecturing me about flossing at all), and then to babysitting. What a lovely husband!

Day 10: Asked husband if we could get unmarried so I don't have to change my name. Turns out I have to get a learner's license just so I can get a new passport...

Day 11: Husband and I went to the bank and discussed RRSPs. It was almost like we were real grown ups.... until we high-fived.

Day 12: Husband is yelling at the news for not accurately reporting a Supreme Court ruling. In other news, for the first time today I am warm enough to be only wearing one hoodie! Down duvet, here I come...

Day 14: First longish road trip with Husband. Topics of conversation covered after 3.5 hours, in no particular order: American politics, Baby Trudeau, the Meech Lake Accord, Mother Mother, entitlement, Sesame Street and public libraries, creepy toe shoes, burning Vs plowing under fields, SARS 2: The ReinSARSination, long term thinking, taxes, the search for the bodies at the dump, mix of politics and religion, science and religion, being married and how it mostly the same as being unmarried, how shiny rings are, and the new recycling bins in Winnipeg.

Day 14: Welcome Caty and Benson to the Newlyweds Club! May our livers forgive us!

Day 15: Husband and I discover that Sweet & Sour Filled Twizzlers are kinda gross and alarming, and do not mix well with Glysomed.

Day 16: Husband and I discover that morning tea just isn't the same as morning coffee. We definitely remember to buy more beans.

Day 17: Husband and I make chicken noodle soup and salad for dinner. We use a soup packet, and add green onion, carrots, celery, garlic, ginger, dill, pepper, and basil. We mix up the directions on the package. And then we have Jell-O for dessert. You know, like grownups.

Day 18 (belated): I watch tv while Neil plays bridge; he plays video games while I read my book and accidentally fall asleep very hard.

Day 19: Interrupted errands to have a dinner date. After errands, we will go home and have a sitting-around-reading-and-drinking-tea date. Friday night = success!

Day 20: Mocksgiving Extravaganza! Slept in, ate delicious smoked cheddar and veggie sandwich, finished Husband's scarf and started reading up on how to knit a matching hat, made and ate lamb souvlaki, watched Casino Royale, made and ate Rodanches de Kalvassa (aka Greek Pumpkin Coils) as per the recipe from The Cookbook of the Jews of Greece, and finished the day watching SNL and trying out a new stitch.

Day 21: I have now been married to Husband for three weeks. What I suspected before the wedding has now been confirmed: I won the Husband Lottery! I love you, monkey

Day 22: Started working on my first ever hat. It is a test run for the toque Husband requested, and it is absolutely and horrendously ridiculous. I may have to try to make him wear it in public.

Day 23 (quite belated): By the combined powers of Husband, Jamie Cote, alcohol, and the Winnipeg Public Library, the Wild Grumpus is conquered!

Day 24: Finished Husband's practice hat. I think I should keep practicing.

Day 25: Put on my rainboots and stomped through the puddles on the way to crash babysitting. Because I am a grownup, I walked a few feet away from Husband, so I wouldn't splash him.

Day 26: Turned 26 on day 26 of being married. I feel much older, wiser, and wife-ier than I did a year ago. Thanks for all the birthday wishes, Friends; you are a few of my favourite things.

Day 27: Introduced Addie to SpiderFriend while Husband was playing bridge.

Day 28 (belated): Husband and I may not be the most organized people in the world, but at least we're not the people in our building who just threw out last year's Christmas tree!

Day 29 (belated, because apparently I suck at this): Went shopping with Husband. Bought a hostess flatware set, soup bowls, a kobo cover, a cookbook, a fun book for Husband, work pants for me, and groceries. Being an adult seems to mean spending a lot of money on things you can't play with.

Day 30: After one month of marriage, Husband and I have magically metamorphosed into real grownups. Or so I thought, until Jamie came home and found Addie in a fairy dress, Neil in a pirate hat and me with a Starbucks bag on my head, all dancing around in his living room. Halloween party!

Day 31: Captain Awesome Wife domesticates the house! Captain Super Husband brings home the bacon! It was super effective!

Day 32: Husband helps me pick out a Halloween costume. It is super effective.

Day 33: Husband and I babysit a sleeping baby who sleeps. I am totally convinced we are prepared to be parents.

(no prego)

Day 34: drunkenness and boobs.

Day 35: Husband nurses me back to sobriety. We also discover that coconut milk yogurt is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike yogurt.

Day 36: In which Husband and I discovered that we can't run errands before having dinner if we want to have healthy food... And we can't have dinner before running errands or we get too lazy for errands. Go Team Lose!

Day 36 (Addendum): Husband and I discover we have differing views on whether or not one should buy lunch meats based purely on hilarity value.

Day 37 and/or 007 Day: Friends are awesome, sleeping is stupid. Unless you're trying to get a small kid to go to bed, in which case sleeping is fantastic, and no you can't stay up for five more minutes.

Day 38: I was feeling discouraged about my day until I came home and Husband convinced me we could have leftover chinese food for dinner, made me tea, and shot things in the face with me. Going to bed happy.

Note: This post was pre-emptively lawyered for your reading convenience.

Day 39 (belated): In which Carol learns a lesson that it is sometimes better to trust in the goodness and perceptiveness of people rather than muttering to yourself in the corner... And then makes delicious dinner with Husband.

Day 40: Husband and I have decided to braise everything from now on.

Day 41: Husband bakes me a birthday cake while I have a migraine-induced nap and then we eat one million pounds of Chinese food for birthday dinner. Also, please remember that burritos are not male tacos.

Day 42: Today Husband and I learned the meaning of life, the universe and everything.

Day 43: Shrunken pants, cupcakes, and rain/snow.

Day 44: Received backup offer of marriage. Luckily, Husband made me fajitas and helped me with Excel tonight, so I think I'm going to keep him. In other news: taught Addie to sing bananaphone. Huge success!

Day 45: Grilled cheese, ham soup (blended to a fine crumb!), salad, green beans, and Oxford comma. This is what happens when you grow up and decide that you can't just have grilled cheese for dinner

Day 46: In which we learned that grownups are allowed to eat grilled cheese for dinner... so we did it again. My flu shot arm is telling me I am carrying too much crap in my backpack. It was much happier when I was letting it just flop around.

Day 47: Tuna salad wrap melts! Accidental nap! Snuggling with Kobo! Still no blizzard!

Day 48: Definitely blizzard. Decided to hibernate while Husband was off playing bridge all day. Watched TV, had coffee, read the internet, read my book.... and then went outside just when the snow/roads were at their worst. But it was all worth it and nobody died. Huzzah! 

(Husband says that it is weird that I am using the phrase "it was all worth it" because I am apparently usually a "glass-is-totally-freaking-empty-and-this-drought-is-going-to-kill-us-all" kind of gal. Sheeesh. Husbands!)

Day 49: Got bangs that band and duplicate groceries. Now that I have Husband back, we can go see Skyfall...tomorrow!

Day 50: On the way out the door to go see Skyfall (!), I meant to grab my water bottle and instead grabbed a loaf of bread. Also, Husband got the snow tires put on, so we are now much less likely to die. More also, made what Husband is calling "moosey fishy kormarole" for dinner. More other also, found out we can now get Wild Mike's pizzas in Winnipeg. Also also wik: Husband and I exchanged gifts for our paper clip dayiversary. Marriage is sometimes quite action-packed.

Day 51: This is why I married Husband: I told him about the synopsis given on the back of a book and he says "Maybe it's abuse. Maybe it's Maybelline." 

Also, he cooks!

Day 52: Husband and I accidentally invented Kissmas songs. And yes, it is exactly as silly as it sounds, but much less icky. Day 53: VACATION VACATION VACATION!!

Day 54: Proved I have knowledge of the driving variety, picked up splendiferous new boots, lost scarf, bought new pants (with patterns!), made cookies, discovered what is possibly the best PSA ever, watched Coyote Ugly with all sorts of ladies, drank weird German liquor, got to see Friend, and was serenaded by husband. Day 54 = Winning!

Day 55 (belated): Dressed like a princess -at least to the extent that my wardrobe and makeup "collection" will allow- for a first birthday party. Made super delicious pizzas. Finished the day sitting knitting with husband while watching West Wing.

Day 56: Cleaning the shower, slow cooker spaghetti, and financial planning. Oh my!

Day 57: Even though he had to be at the airport at 6am, Husband still made me coffee and breakfast... and then felt bad because he didn't pack my lunch. Mom is right, I am spoiled rotten.

Day 58: Managed to get to work on time for the second day in a row all by myself. It only took seven alarms! And having cold dry crumpets for breakfast! Also, I would like to point out that I didn't drink chemical de-scaler, I remembered to put coffee in my coffee, and I managed to put shampoo in my hair and body wash on my body. Despite this resounding success, I am very happy that Husband will soon be home. He somehow manages to banish much of the morninginess from my mornings.

Day 59: After Husband's flight got delayed he got home very, very late and nearly died of tired. Which meant that I made coffee for two people this morning. I only have directions for one. It went bad. I tried to fix it by accidentally adding what was probably a tablespoon and a half of Demerara sugar. It went worse. In conclusion, Husband is not allowed to go anywhere ever again.

P.S. In case you were wondering, I got to work on time all by myself again. Thanks to timewarps.

Day 60: Discovered how wonder bread is made, ate pizza we discovered in Edmonton, and then got sucked into the crack-fueled world of Song Pop.

Day 61: Doing laundry in preparation for Husband leaving me again. This time I have stocked up on pop tarts in advance. Because who has time to eat/make actual breakfast (when you're me) in the morning?

Day 62: Reinvented our standard curry dish (for the OMG OM NOM NOM win), began what will be two weeks of furious knitting, and shored up on groceries and cuddling. Stupid Canadian Tax Foundation and their stupid seminars.

Day 63: Woke up at four to help Husband get to the airport on time. Every time I hear the door to the building open, I have a moment where I think it is him coming home. It's gonna be a long couple of days

Day 64: Pop tart got stuck in the toaster (yep, got it out with a fork), noticed we had puddles of water on the windowsills and had to move everything off of them, and realized this afternoon that I put on three pairs of socks this morning without noticing. Mornings without Husband are not a good time.

Day 65: Husband is home! And there was much rejoicing.

Day 66: Spaghetti and Cookies and Knitting, Oh My!

Day 67: Husband and I kicked the fresh snow all the way home. I love winter.

Day 68: In which there were many grumbles and lamentations, glasses of wine, and dill paste.

Day 69: Got some more Christmas shopping done... And then watched a pile of Buffy to recover.

Day 70: Husband and I have been married for ten weeks. We celebrated by him going into the office for much of the weekend while I stayed home knitting. Stay tuned for more posts about the glamour of married life.

Day 71: Every time I open my mouth this evening it becomes even more apparent that I need to go to sleep. "Oh my and all the mackerels!" "A Chihuahua Terrier?... That's about as.. can't think of the word... wantable?... desirable, thank you... as desirable as a pitbull crossed with... a walrus." I think Husband and I may need to start going to bed earlier.

Day 72: Twas a weird-ass day, but Mother Mother made it all better.

Day 73: Went to the Old Spaghetti Factory for the first and last time. Also, Husband and I are trying to get back into the habit of standing on one foot while brushing our teeth (each, not between us)

Day: 74. In which Carol forgets where to put colons, and our marriage gets a new: motto. 'If one of us has to suffer, we both have to suffer!'

Day 74 Super Special Edition: We have wedding pictures! From our wedding! And I don't have to put them in an album becauseAshley MacLennan is THE BEST EVER.

Early Day 75: Got Neil to supervise me putting *matching* shoes and also lunch in my bag. Only put on one pair of socks (on purpose!). Used body wash for body and shampoo for hair. Forgot to put on jewelry and wake up. Balls.

Day 75 Special Edition: Caused much strife at Husband's office Christmas party by bringing scarves for the gift exchange. I was told I am not invited back next year.

Day 76: Today I accomplished putting on pants, showering, braiding my hair, finishing a scarf, starting a hat, getting irate with thinkgeek, watching a ton of Buffy, and eating. Husband billed seven and a half hours. If I'm not a little more industrious tomorrow, I'm afraid I might get fired as Wife...

Day 77: You know you married a freak of nature when you see him trimming his beard left-handed while standing on one foot. (each)

Day 78: Husband and I are in the car talking about maybe playing some video games
H: We could shoot things in the face! Or magic things in the face!
C: With a pew pew here, and a pew pew there...
Both: Here a pew, there a pew, everywhere a pew pew!
....
H: <gasp!>
C: I already told Kate I wanted it for Christmas.

I was right. Husband had just realized he could get me Lego Lord of the Rings for Christmas.

Day 79: I work on becoming an Excel genie; Husband makes over 9000 cookies. And also burns himself.

Day 80: The ladies at work found out husband can bake. Too late - I liked it so I put a ring on it.

Day 81: Apparently I can only make lumpy hand hearts. Fortunately, Husband has graciously agreed to still be married to me.

Day 82: Let the vacation begin! May there be much sitting around, and playing video games, and making delicious food, and watching TV. And also naps. So. Many. Naps.

Day 83: During our scheduled day of productivity, we accomplished several levels of Lego Harry Potter and also a migraine. Go Team Goodridge!

Day 84: We have to do some Christmas shopping in the morning. Husband: "How early can I wake you up without you killing me?" 
It's like he knows me or something...

Day 84 Postscript: I'm not sure Husband ever noticed that Dumb Ways to Die was on a loop.

Day 85: Because who needs sleep when you have Lego Harry Potter?

Day 86: Went for my first ski of the season (also my first ski ever at Windsor). Saw three deer and didn't hug any trees. Clearly a huge success.

Day 87: A merit increase, a homemade Christmas present from my boss, homemade hard cider, working on my passport application, trying to find lost things (remote = found. Birth certificate = not found), legs and back that doth protest too much, and sad episodes of Buffy.

Day 88: Trying to catch snowflakes on your tongue is Serious Business with Husband. It's like when someone throws a candy at you for you to catch in your mouth only they have spectacularly bad aim and you have to take a dive to get it. Because why do something when you can overdo it?

Day 89: "Navidad de los Muertos" -Husband, on my festive office decorations.

Day 90: Husband and I once again decided to try a totally new recipe using an unfamiliar cooking technique when we needed to bring food to a get-together. Gingerbread cake + apples in caramel sauce = win. In other culinary news, broccoli pizza is teh awesome.

Day 90 Addendum: Husband: "You have infected me with your tired itchies!"